[Video, SLIGHTLY backdated to the last week of January]

[foolishwren]

<sub>[DING! It's a video post!]

[The video is pointed downwards at the front stoop of a house. Where there seems to be a respectably-sized pile of oblong objects. The camera wavers slightly as it comes into focus on the pile.]

[... It's bread.]

[Loaves of all shapes, colors, and sizes, just... dumped right on the doormat.]

[We're talking everything from the Johto equivalent of Wonderbread to rustic artisanal bakery items.]

[Then the camera's view swings back around to Heather; bleary-eyed, slightly grouchy, and clearly just woke up to find, for the umpteenth time this month, that the secret bread fairy had once again visited her place of residence.]

[All things considered, it's one of the less alarming, more harmless stalker-style pranks she's experienced.]

[But that doesn't make it any less baffling.]</sub>

WHO. IS DOING THIS.

Comments

video;

[machismost]

Yoooo! Free bread!

[ Here's your bright side perspective. ]

[foolishwren]

_{[SOMEONE'S gotta look on the bright side! It's certainly not going to be Heather.]}

Free bread for the Pidgeys who hang out in the backyard, maybe!

I'm not eating it, I don't know where it's been.

[machismost]

What d'you mean? It's not like you wouldn't be able to tell if the bread was dirty or not by looking at it. Or you could just not eat the crust. It's bread! It comes with a shell!

video

[nightyorb]

Someone... is leaving you bread?

[Riz is paranoid by default, but even he can't find a threat in bread. Unless she has a gluten intolerance. But at the same time, he also cannot find a joke in it. It's very confusing.]

video

[foolishwren]

Every day!

For like three weeks!

<sub>[She's not necessarily threatened, either-- if any of the numerous parties responsible for and/or generally reinforcing her paranoid upbringing to begin with were doing this, they absolutely would not be leaving bread.]

[But she also does not understand the joke. It's not the Fourth Wall event, after all.]</sub>

And I can never catch them at it, so I've got no clue who it is.

[orangesmith]

Is it the Snorunt?

[Narancia's at the point of just blaming anything weird that happens in January on the Snorunt. Easiest explanation there is.]

[foolishwren]

_{[There is a LONG pause.]}

... God dammit.

I BET it's the freaking Snorunt.

[crystalmaster]

... Wow. That's a weird one. Apparently somebody thinks you need more bread in your life.

[Several of his Pokemon exclaim in glee. They think it looks delicious!]

[foolishwren]

_{[Behind the scenes, Heather did have to close the front door firmly because you bet a good number of her Pokemon were very eager to get at the bread pile.]}

I already eat plenty of bread, thank you very much.

Just not... frozen doorstep mystery bread.

video

[phoenixwiz]

Oh wow, there is so much bread everywhere, Heather. Did the bakeries just have a surplus of bread all the sudden?

(Rowan, Lily, Zinnia, and Neville are just gasping and gawking at the amount of bread that Heather is dealing with.)

video

[foolishwren]

If they did, I'm pretty sure the protocol for extra product isn't to find some random house in the suburbs and start dumping it all there.

_{[Her own Pokemon are shut indoors, because she has a number that would absolutely be completely gobbling the whole pile up in a frenzy if she'd let them get outside with her.]}

[video]

[goldeneyeball]

_{[James's head is poking out of a MOUNTAIN of blankets in his and Rose's caravan.]}

Hey, i don't know, but this might be some kind of a threat.

[video]

[foolishwren]

I've been threatened. I know how to deal with that.

I don't know WHAT this is.

text;

[shiro2hero]

You don't want it?

[SHIRO NO.]

text;

[foolishwren]

SHIRO.

Not you too!

<sub>[FIRST THAT TEENAGER, NOW THIS.... GROWN MAN.]

[Don't eat mystery bread!!!!!!]</sub>

[psionicmolotov]

Is there something wrong with it

[ Real ray of sunshine, this guy ]

[foolishwren]

_{[ANGUISHED INTERNAL SCREAM]}

I CANNOT WITH YOU PEOPLE

HAVE NONE OF YOU HEARD OF MOLD BEFORE

video;

[singlespacedad]

There isn't one of the bread dogs in there, is there?

[Don't feed a bread dog to the Pidgeys, Heather.]

video;

[foolishwren]

Well, it's kind of all frozen, so I assume not--

Wait a minute.

What's a bread dog?

_{[SHOW HER A FIDOUGH, MANDO!!]}

[desirestruth]

...Have you perhaps, given nearby pokemon the idea you don't eat?

[THIS IS THE ONLY EXPLANATION SHE CAN THINK OF.]

[foolishwren]

... I mean.

It's the middle of the winter so I'm not exactly doing my eating outdoors. But I'm not exactly a starving waif, here.

_{[Actually Heather you are kind of waifish-looking sometimes. It comes with the survival horror protagonist territory.]}

[text]

[exeggutorhead]

NO

WHY

[AGAIN???]

[text]

[foolishwren]

I

DONT

KNOW

_{[EVERY TIME THERE'S MORE!!!!]}

[cyan_maid]

...Not me, but I'm jealous - the work on some of those loaves is impeccable.

[Jane stop having a baker moment]

[foolishwren]

..... I'll be honest, I have not looked that closely.

_{[She'd been too busy going insane.]}

Do you recognize any of it? It's obviously coming from, like... multiple sources.