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[thedifferencebetween]

Aw crap, it's Valentine's Day this week, isn't it? Guess I gotta haul my ass to the store...

So how many of the roving, ever-fluctuating-in-numbers band of kids that's in and out of my house expects something? 'Cause I don't wanna deal with anybody whining that 'hey, Poppa Jack, how come you didn't send me some novelty candy and a stupid card but everybody else got one?!?!' or any of that bullshit. And there's too friggin many of you to just text you each or whatever.

[Also Jack has kind of lost track at this point, the core handful keeps absorbing more teenagers and bringing them home.]

And it should probably go without saying, but just in case...don't bug me on the holiday, I'm gonna be busy. I know there's a lot of sad, lonely sacks around but I ain't one of'em.

Oh, another thing, very important: I hate vanilla. Don't get me stuff that's vanilla flavored. It's the comatose old person of flavors, it's boring and pointless and smells vaguely medicinal. I thought I'd made this very clear a while ago, but I guess some folks missed the memo.

Anyway, let me know if you expect me to send you shit or you're not getting anything, 'cause I'm not doing holiday shopping twice. I'm a busy guy.

Comments

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[moneylogues]

brb ordering vanilla flavored snacks in bulk

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[thedifferencebetween]

you order them, you gotta eat them all.

you freak.

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[moneylogues]

i'm gonna order them gift wrapped and u won't know which ones are the real gifts and which ones are vanilla surprise

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[thedifferencebetween]

oh that's how you wanna play it, huh. okay.

you realize i'm gonna sabotage something of yours, right?

[moneylogues]

fucking bring it (っゝω・)っ～☆

[thedifferencebetween]

don't worry, i'm gonna.

i have pyrotechnics and paintball and some other shit planned already, so...this is gonna be fun.
lots of opportunities to screw with you, and you won't even know where i'm gonna hit.

hey do you think if you lose a limb here it works like if you come close to dying, and it just gets fixed? do we...do we know how that works? it may be important.

[moneylogues]

wow someone thinks he's hot fucking shit. you really think you got this??? that's cute, you're cute


...........you know i don't actually know
do u think it counts as like
bleeding out
it probably does right?

[thedifferencebetween]

well yeah i'm cute, that's half of why you're with me.

yeah, it's gotta. i mean...yeah, as long as you made sure to sever a major artery for bleed out...

alright, clearly if one or both of us DOESN'T end up in the Pokecenter day after tomorrow, we did Valentine's wrong.

[moneylogues]

the other half is how priceless it's gonna be when i replace our regular liquor with vanilla flavored vodka

i mean that checks out. u pop back up like normal right? you don't keep all the non-fatal injuries???

man people who do valentines the regular boring way are fucking missing out

[thedifferencebetween]

babe, you misspelled 'i want you to smother me in my sleep'. because clearly that's the intent of what you wrote.

yeah! i've been through it, i was fine. i mean i didn't lose any parts but i got seriously messed up and it all healed like no big deal.

we just know how to enjoy life. not many people do.

[moneylogues]

do you know how easy it's gonna be to switch out labels
pour contents from bottle to bottle
it's gonna be fucking worth it and i regret nothing

well then it'd be a copout if suddenly lost limbs are a big deal. should be fine.

i'm not up on my history but i think there was some big valentine massacre or something so
who is REALLY celebrating correctly here am i right

[thedifferencebetween]

oh i'm not saying it's gonna be hard, i'm just saying i'm gonna kill you in your sleep when you do it.

yeah, i can't see any reason it wouldn't be.

i haven't got a clue, honestly, but i like the sound of that! it's so sad when the old traditions get lost, we're just doing our part to bring them back. cause we're awesome like that!

[moneylogues]

and i'm taunting you by just how many bottles are gonna be switched
half the bottles will be fine just so you won't be totally sure

fuck yeah we are. and it's keeping in theme. red's a romantic color, blood's red, it all checks out

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[keep_surviving]

Harsh Pops, real harsh. I thought I was important.

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[thedifferencebetween]

Obviously you're getting crap.

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[keep_surviving]

[Lookit Diana give a little fist bump, it's adorable.]

Hell yeah. I'm sending something you're way too. Don't worry it won't expire so you won't have to open it on your busy day.

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[thedifferencebetween]

Don't act so surprised, kiddo, you know if I understood how adoption worked around here, I'd have done it already.

And good, I may not be able to open mail for a little bit.

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[keep_surviving]

Aww, that's so sweet of you. You're so good to me, Pops.

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[thedifferencebetween]

Of course I am! I take care of my own, I always have.

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[keep_surviving]

You taking Fifi out for the day?

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[thedifferencebetween]

Yeah....we got big plans! Gotta, it's basically our anniversary.

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[keep_surviving]

Oh, shit. Really?

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[thedifferencebetween]

Yeah. I mean...we don't really have an official one, it's not like I ever asked him out or anything. We just sort of realized 'oh, hey, we're a couple'. But it was around Valentine's Day we reached that conclusion, so...

Closest thing we've got.

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[keep_surviving]

Well, crap. What do you get people for their first anniversary?

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[thedifferencebetween]

Whatever they want? I mean.... Felix and me got each other covered, we figured out how to give each other the greatest gift either of us could want, so...

Seriously, whatever you think we'd like.