victory_road | 001 ♟ audio/video

[There's no video for this broadcast, just audio. Well. There's background noise, anyway, for a few seconds. Then someone awkwardly clears his throat.]

Um, is this... working? [Huh, funny. Isn't that voice familiar? The tone's a little off, but the sound of it's definitely the same as that Jack guy, right?] How... How do I know if it's...

Oh! Wait, the light's on, that probably means people are listening and... hearing me talk to myself... like an idiot. Great. Cool.

[...He quickly clears his throat. Right, yeah, let's not keep talking to himself like a moron, that's no way to make a first impression.]

I mean. Hello there, youuuuu, ah, lovely... people. Oh god, that was terrible. This is... Jack. Handsome Jack. That's... me. In the flesh. I mean, not that you can see that, but--

Just. Just got a quick question. I... These Pokémon things, they're supposed to be like... animals, right? Um. I'm just gonna turn on the video for this, one sec... [And then the video feed clicks on, showing off one very excited Ditto, smiling right at the camera.] So... Seriously, what the hell is up with this thing? This is just... I don't even know. Someone used some jello for a science class and something went wrong or whatever? It's kinda freaking me out a little...

[The Ditto doesn't seem bothered being talked about like this, still looking as happy as can be.]

I... don't really know what to do with it. Do I like... feed it? Does it eat? It doesn't look like it eats, but... don't wanna kill it by mistake.

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Jeez, that sounds really bad. I mean, kids just wandering around... Uh... Guess it is safer here than some planets, at least, but still...

And I guess they at last get a nice pet mutant to help 'em out... Weird as that is.

The nice pet mutant does help a lot. So do the next twenty they catch, as a matter of fact; they tend to adapt to that aspect of the world even more quickly than the adults.

Right, right, that's uh... something about kids, huh? They're way more adaptable. Don't question as much.

Wish I could go with the flow that easily.

I've no doubt you'll manage to adapt splendidly. Unless you arrive at the end of May, October or November, this world is gentle enough to ease you into its pecularities.

Last place I adapted to was way worse, so... yeah, probably.

And, huh, good to know I got lucky with the timing th--

[Wait, hold the fucking phone.]

Whoa, wait, wait, wait. What... happens in those months?

Visitors' Weekend Madness, Halloween, and Visitors' Weekend Madness once more, respectively. The weekends are merely busy with some unexpected teleportation, but Halloween can be... alarming.

Alarming. So... that's ominous.

Just saying, y'know, alarming can mean a lot of different things. How alarming are we talking here? Scale of one to ten?

...I would say three for the good years and seven for the bad, but as I come from a world much more dangerous than this land my scale and yours might not match.

Uh, well, the last place I was at was very deadly, so... Let's assume it's the same scale. Which isn't very encouraging. A seven is entirely too high for comfort...

Well, guess I know which time to start dreading.

Thankfully, while those periods are often unpleasant, they are also extremely short. It is also impossible for us to die here, which... can sometimes be a blessing.

Edited 2016-08-24 22:56 (UTC)

I... guess that's good? Short. Right, okay. And it's at the same times, so you can kinda prepare for it? Sure is a step up from what I'm used to.

I'd say "it's impossible to die" is usually a blessing.

'Sometimes' in that it's mostly irrelevant, unless you enjoy jumping off buildings.

[A beat.]

While your injuries would be mostly healed upon returning to the Pokémon Center, I'd still not recommend that as a hobby.

I've dealt with enough horrible heights back on Elpis to last me several lifetimes, so uh. Yeah, no danger of that happening.

But hey, it's still good to know...

[Not that he's worried about his boss murdering him or anything, ha ha... ha...]

...If you dislike heights, you are in luck. The few mountains that block the paths between cities can be crossed by cave systems, without any climbing. Of course, if you also happen to dislike bats...

[Cosmos have mercy on the poor chiroptophobic among them.]

I'll gladly face a million bats if it means not having to be anywhere high up ever again.

You're in luck, then, as a million is a very conservative estimate of the number of bats you'll see during your travels.

...Just to clarify, because it just occurred to me that I might have to. The bats here aren't like, I dunno, four times my size and breathe fire or something, right?

No, but they are swift and poisonous. Or snuggly and psychic, sometimes.

Eh, sounds about like most Pandoran wildlife, just smaller. That I can handle.

...The first ones, anyway. Not... sure what's up with the second ones. Psychic, seriously?

It's a type like any other, with its strength and weaknesses. A Psychic-type is not necessarily capable of, say, taking control of others' minds or moving objects with nothing but a thought.

...Not necessarily?

Some species are... more talented than others. Or have specific and potentially dangerous skillsets.

Okay, so, that mind control thing, is-- is that just a hypothetical or can at least one species actually do that, because that'd be nice to know in advance!

...They do say that Hypno can hypnotize people, and Beeheeyem can supposedly modify memories. Not that Fu has shown any desire to do so, but then again he's not what you'd call smart...

Well. That's horrifying.

[audio]

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