[004] - text

[pkemeter]

Greetings. My name is Dr. Egon Spengler. I am looking for participants in a study regarding Psychic Pokémon, particularly telepathic Pokémon, and the effects of their powers on human beings. Participants must be:

• At least 18 years old
  
• Willing to subject themselves to extremely powerful waves of psychokinetic energy
  
• Must currently be human
  
• Must not be deceased or undead in any way
  
• Must not have severe reactions to electric shocks
  
• Must not be pregnant or planning on bearing children in the next five years
  
• Must not be associated with any currently operating law enforcement agency
  
• Previous experience with the Psychic Pokémon is appreciated but not necessary

Participating in this experiment may or may not result in severe to lethal brain trauma or other unspecified side effects. Taking certain medication may alter the results of this experiment. There will be no material compensation beyond the satisfaction that knowledge has been furthered in the name of science. By participating in this experiment, you acknowledge all risk associated with the procedure.

Please contact us if you have any questions regarding the experiment.

[...He didn't...describe the actual experiment in question....]

Comments

[neverstudied]

You talking to me or the bird?

[The Murkrow looks scandalized, and lunges out to peck Egon on the hand even as her new toy is taken away. She squawks in disdain and hops after him, tugging at his pants leg with her beak. Unfortunately, her efforts are in vain and Egon sits back down. Kildarby ruffles her feathers and preens her primaries, glaring daggers at him.]

Hey, don't worry. She'll evolve someday, if she wants to. And then she'll be big enough to carry your Pokegear as far as she wants.

[pkemeter]

[He ignores Kildarby's efforts to sabotage him as he continues tapping at the PokéGear.]

I still don't see why you had to take this bird into your care. You could release her at any time.

[You're not getting any physical contact, Venkman. This is your punishment.]

[neverstudied]

[Venkman laughs, and whistles for Kildarby. Obediently, she flutters back to him and perches on his arm. He scritches her behind the ears, grinning at Egon.]

Hey, I happen to like her.

[It kind of looks like Kildarby is grinning, but that's ridiculous. Birds can't smile.

But she is capitalizing on Egon refusing Venkman physical affection, leaning forward to preen at his fingertips.]

[pkemeter]

[Egon frowns, but he doesn't otherwise comment. But he does glare at Kildarby again.]

So...currently, we have three participants. Ray, Gaige, and myself. That should be enough for a surface-level test.

[He turns off the PokéGear and tucks it into his pocket, tapping his fingers together as he thinks.]

I'm thinking of testing with both physical and mental "blocks" in place to see what is most effective in preventing psychic attacks.

[neverstudied]

Feel like it's not the smartest thing to test this on yourself, especially when one of the possible side effects is permanent brain damage.

[He absentmindedly works at a few pinfeathers, and she leans into the touch.]

What kind of blocks?

[pkemeter]

Don't be ridiculous. It is important to witness the effects of an experiment such of this firsthand. Besides, I have a feeling Kölliker may be hesitant to subject her trainer to permanent brain damage.

[An experiment such as what?]

I was thinking of utilizing a non-invasive version of trepanning, as well as perhaps mentally repeating a certain phrase over and over again, allowing your brain to be blank, so on and so forth.

[neverstudied]

Her trainer, but not other people, huh?

Wait, trep-

[He glares.]

Don't you dare. I'm not going through that a second time. Do I have to confiscate all the power tools from you again?

[pkemeter]

[Egon appears unphased.]

Dr. Stanford Pines placed a metal plate in his head and his mind has not suffered any worse for wear.

[Said in an almost petulant tone, though you wouldn't be able to tell unless you spoke to Egon for more than, like, two years.]

And anyways, I said non-invasive. Which means placing plates of metal outside of the body in a sort of physical block between the psychic energy and one's mind.

[neverstudied]

And if Dr. Stanford Pines jumped off a bridge, you would too, huh?

[He caught that tone, alright.]

Ahuh. And how are you gonna stick the metal plates to your heads? Because if drills are in any way involved, I swear to God, Spengler..

[pkemeter]

Don't be ridiculous. [A beat.] Only if it had scientific merit.

[He glances up at Venkman, then starts gesturing with his hands as he describes his plans.]

Simple: we won't be sticking them to our heads. I will be constructing a metal box that will hopefully act as a sort of psychic Faraday cage to keep any psychokinetic energy present contained within the box while keeping additional psychokinetic energy out. If successful, I will work on creating a slightly more compact version of the device.

...Of course, this is only one of several physical tests we will be performing.

[neverstudied]

Dumbass.

[Venkman shakes his head, grinning a little.]

Ok, really important question- does the metal box go completely around the person's head, and if so, is it airtight? Because I know you, and I know that things like "making sure the test subject can breathe" go over your head.

[pkemeter]

...

[Egon pulls his notebook out of his other pocket and jots down a quick note.]

I will...look into making it so that the test subject can have an exchange of air outside of the box. [A pause.] Perhaps a tube would be sufficient enough to not disrupt the actual psychic barrier.

[neverstudied]

[Kildarby starts cackling. By which I mean, she caws in a way that sounds like a laugh. Of course. Because birds don't laugh.

Venkman, however, does laugh, and he leans closer to Egon- careful to keep his arm out so Kildarby doesn't lose her balance.]

God, you're so fucking stupid. I love you.

[pkemeter]

[His face remains neutral.]

If you truly loved me, you would get rid of that feathered fiend and hold me.

[Still not looking up at him or Kildarby.]

[neverstudied]

Why, Egon! [Venkman clutches at his chest dramatically with his free hand.] Are you jealous?

[He stretches out the word with a sing-song tone.]

[pkemeter]

Jealousy is a useless human emotion and serves nothing except to complicate interpersonal relationships.

[Delivered in an incredibly flat tone as he continues to flip through the notebook.]

[neverstudied]

That doesn't answer my question.

[He rolls his eyes, but reaches for a Pokeball at his belt. Kildarby visibly deflates, realizing that the fun is over for now, but it's fine. She'll get back at Egon later. She's recalled to the containment unit without complaint.]

There. That better?

[His voice is still teasing.]

[pkemeter]

Perhaps.

[He slowly gets up on his feet and moves closer to Venkman. After a brief pause, he leans over and kisses him on the forehead.

Hopefully, that should answer his question.]

[neverstudied]

[It does! Venkman smiles openly at him, now, and gently tugs at Egon's shirt collar to pull him closer and into a proper kiss, one hand cupping Egon's cheek.

After a few seconds, he breaks it to say-]

I really do love you, Egie. Even if you are jealous of a bird.

[-Before kissing him again.]

[pkemeter]

[Egon almost brightens at the contact, though as soon as Venkman says that his expression sours.]

I am not jealous--

[Too late. He gets pulled into another kiss. He wraps his arms around his partner as he idly ruminates about the fact that the reason Venkman came into the room in the first place was to chide him about unsafe experiments.]

[neverstudied]

[It's fine, this is how most of their conversations about lab safety end, ever since college. Coincidentally, this has not improve lab safety in the slightest.

Venkman laughs into the kiss-]

Sure you're not.

[-and tries to pull Egon on top of him on the couch.]

[pkemeter]

[Egon makes a surprised noise as he gets pulled down. There's not much effort to be made on Venkman's part--Egon's already got his arms around him, it's just a matter of using leverage to knock him off his feet and onto the couch. He sputters slightly, his face burning--a holdover instinct from years past that he can't quite eliminate.

After a brief pause, he fixes his glasses and just sort of...lies there. He's fine.]

[neverstudied]

[He grins like an idiot and wraps his arms around Egon.]

You know, you look good when you're flustered.

[what was egon doing earlier? probably not important.]

[pkemeter]

[Egon's limbs are kind of hanging off the edge of the couch, but it's fine. He blinks.]

I am aware. You've stated this opinion several times.

[He manages to unwedge one of his arms from between Venkman and the couch and threads his fingers through his hair. Partially out of the need something to fidget with from anxiety and general nerves and partially because he just wants to.]

[neverstudied]

[Venkman leans into the touch with a soft, approving noise, smiling unguardedly up at his partner.]

I know I have. That doesn't mean I can't tell you again. And again. And again...

Now move a little further up so I can kiss ya some more.