[004] - text

[pkemeter]

Greetings. My name is Dr. Egon Spengler. I am looking for participants in a study regarding Psychic Pokémon, particularly telepathic Pokémon, and the effects of their powers on human beings. Participants must be:

• At least 18 years old
  
• Willing to subject themselves to extremely powerful waves of psychokinetic energy
  
• Must currently be human
  
• Must not be deceased or undead in any way
  
• Must not have severe reactions to electric shocks
  
• Must not be pregnant or planning on bearing children in the next five years
  
• Must not be associated with any currently operating law enforcement agency
  
• Previous experience with the Psychic Pokémon is appreciated but not necessary

Participating in this experiment may or may not result in severe to lethal brain trauma or other unspecified side effects. Taking certain medication may alter the results of this experiment. There will be no material compensation beyond the satisfaction that knowledge has been furthered in the name of science. By participating in this experiment, you acknowledge all risk associated with the procedure.

Please contact us if you have any questions regarding the experiment.

[...He didn't...describe the actual experiment in question....]

Comments

[pkemeter]

Actually, in this case it does have a deadline.

Whenever Kölliker evolves, which will likely be a month from now, give or take a few weeks.

[adandyinspace]

slap a magic rock on em BAM keeps them small

[pkemeter]

[That makes him at least pause for a moment.]

What?

[adandyinspace]

magic rock???? you can get it at the store dude

[pkemeter]

...Ah, you mean the evolution stones? Yes, I am aware, but I would rather Kölliker not remain in this petulant stage of...what do they call it? "Terrible twos"?

[adandyinspace]

its your call either put up with a baby for a few more weeks or keep trying to dig up volunteers for your crazy experiments with what little precious time you have

i dont care either way

[pkemeter]

Wait for a few weeks and miss the opportunity to perform tests like this? Absolutely not. Are you participating or not?

[adandyinspace]

guess not too bad

science misses out on its perfect test subject

[pkemeter]

Don't be silly. There's no such thing as a perfect test subject, due to the fallacies that exist in all humans.

[adandyinspace]

if i didnt know who you are, this would be the part where i'd say im about to blow your teeny tiny little mind

but you are a man of science, im sure you can handle what im about to tell you

i have no flaws

[pkemeter]

Okay. Thank you for telling me.

[adandyinspace]

you know whats really weird im pretty sure i have a bunch of psychic animals(????) and not a single one of them tries to fry my brain or eat my thoughts

am i just better at this stuff than you guys and i think i deserve a proton pack???

[pkemeter]

We don't have proton packs in this dimension. They won't let us build them under the pretense that they are "weapons".

[adandyinspace]

and since WHEN did you start lettin em tell you what to do?

[pkemeter]

I am simply stating this information as a user posting on a public forum likely monitored by those willing to aid law enforcement, if the replies to this post are anything to go by.

[He may or may not be working on things privately.]

[adandyinspace]

oh

i get it


then maybe you could make me a ""proton pack""

[pkemeter]

Proton packs are not toys. They are tools. Improper usage of such tools may result in every single atom in your body splitting in half and then exploding into a million pieces.

Also, I do not actually have any access to nuclear power, which puts a significant dampener on whatever plans I would ordinarily have to make a "Proton Pack". But I have made progress on creating PKE meters attuned to Psychic and Ghost Pokémon.

[adandyinspace]

yeah yeah whatever i can take it, im dandy baby

...but until then you should totally hook me up with one of those meters

[pkemeter]

...

Give me three reasons why I should give you a PKE Meter. I don't intend to just give these out to whoever who asks. I want them to be used for real research purposes.

[adandyinspace]

reason one you would be fulfilling the dreams of sweet little five year old dandy who only wanted to be either luke skywalker or a ghostbuster and no one's handed me a lightsaber yet

[pkemeter]

[................................]

Reason number two?