victory_road | 8 ∅ [Text/Action for Ecruteak Inn]

[TEXT:]

currently taking your hottest exorcism tips
the top five submissions get a prize
the prize is whatever i get out of these boxes of abra jacks and if thats not your idea of a good time im sorry because theyre all i got stashed in this closet atm

if this is punishment for cultural appropriation at the festival im gomen
but can we maybe stop
onegai shimass

[ACTION FOR ECRUTEAK:]

[The great (???) thing about the ghost currently haunting Dave is that, for the most part, it stays out of sight, meaning that with everyone else distracted by their own phantasms, Dave managed to spend the whole day yesterday blatantly not acknowledging it, only twitching at its constant presence at the edge of his awareness. But after no sleep the entire night--negative sleep, probably, it's possible he will never sleep again, fuck every molecule of his being--he's just grabbed some foodstuffs, marched into the inn room closet, and settled in with his eyes shut, hugging the cereal boxes to his chest.

At least he can pretend Bro's not there, in the dark.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

fuck
i bet hed love if i tried to whack him with a wrapping paper roll or something maybe thats what he wants
but hes totally incorporeal so what evens the point of trying
also he was always too fast

Well, I bet he's not too fast now. Can't be too fast when you're dead.

[He makes a face after he says that. It's in bad taste and he knows it, glancing behind his shoulder at the ghost off screen.] Sorry, Uh. A-anyways, you mind me asking who popped up for you? I've seen all kinds. But maybe if I get enough information there might be some pattern that magically pops up other than 'they died'.

[Dave doesn't answer for a good long minute.

But, eventually:]

my brother

[Oooooh. Now he feels even shittier about his comment.]

Shit, dude. I'm sorry.

[He's thankful it's just one ghost or else he'd probably have gotten visited by a pair of gingers. And as much as it would have been nice to see them, he might have just noped right out. And stayed away from cutlery for...how ever long they decided to stay.]

its whatever

[It is so not 'whatever.']

i just wish hed step off already
this hackneyed cowering in the closet thing is cramping my style in a stupidly literal way

[Your dead brother is in the closet. Hanna swallows hard. That's not funny. That's not funny.]

My ghost is like, my friend. But technically he's the undead. But he died. So. It's really confusing.

wait
so like
are you telling me hes an actual zombie ghost???

More like...vampire ghost. It sounds like something out of like, a really shitty YA novel I know but... that's what he is?

yeah thats some straight to video b movie shit right there
are you sure hes actually a ghost??
wouldnt he have to double die for that
is your friend double dead or is that an insensitive question

I'm pretty damn sure, like...he's acting like all he other ones I've seen. And no he didn't double die I mean he was right there outsi- Oh shit...

[Hanna turns around and is suddenly trying to shake his ghost.] Did you double die? Come on! You stayed outside so you'd be safe you asshole! What the fuck?

[Dave gives the man a moment to heckle his poor double dead ghost friend before asking,]

you see a lot of ghosts where youre from?

[After adding more additional guilt to the death of Conrad, and his potential double death, Hanna wearily turns back to the camera and nods, sighing.]

Not too many, like. Sixth sense kind of ghost sightings, but I deal with the paranormal. It's my job. I'm a paranormal investigator. [He's got a business card in his wallet if you want to see, man. He can prove it.]

if thats a fancy word for ghostbuster im going to have to take back about seventeen years of giving my friend grief about the franchise

Um...sorta? I'm no scientist, and I don't have plasma guns and ghost containers. But I did have magic. It's just...not available here.

[He isn't going to tell you not to call him a ghostbuster though, cause that's cool.]

I mean, the theme song fits pretty well.

ok no in that case youre not a ghostbuster and my riding his ass about it stands
phew that was close
almost had to acknowledge responsibility for a mildly shitty thing i did as a prepubescent pisshead and tender apologies to the best friend
damn im glad i dodged THAT bullet

...Or you could not be a dick and apologize anyways.

and ruin the good thing we got going here?
never
constantly besmirching each others deepest passions is the cornerstone upon which our entire relationship is built
if i apologized for telling him the straight truth that ghostbusters is a shitty movie i might as well take our friendship out back with a shotgun

H-hey! It might not be A-plus material, but it was a movement.

[Sure, Hanna.] It shook the world, man.

oh christ
youre john from the future arent you

[John is not a ginger and Hanna's curtains match the carpets.]

I have no idea who John is, but I half expect you to say Jurassic park wasn't a gift to the world. Or like, the Fifth element.

no
i cant do this
you like ghosts and magic and probably you think matthew mackonahey has a good face

Young Matthew Broderick is more my style if I had to pick a Matthew. Mackonahey has wicked cheekbones that I think only work with like, one person I know.

you fight with a hammer dont you

[What the fuck...]

Uh...Is John's last name Cross? Cause this is getting fucking weird.

no its egbert
how do you feel about nicolas cage

(no subject)

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