6. Video | Fuchsia City

[starry_forehead]

[Hey pokemon world, there's a cardboard sign in front of the camera. It reads, Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained. You can also hear a lot of kids in the background. And the sign goes away to show...yup it's Dipper. He's standing inside what looks like a kids restaurant.]

Welcome to the first pokemon world edition of Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained. We're on, Anomaly number 13 "The Pizza Parlor." Now I know what you're thinking. Dipper, this is totally just a normal place, where kids come and play games, eat pizza and learn to fear animatronics, right?

[The Camera shows scenes of all three of these things, ending with a creepy looking animatronic Mienshao. It is dressed like a ninja and very purple. The camera goes back to Dipper and you can see the group of animatronic ninja pokemon in the background.]

Wrong! This is no ordinary pizza place. I found it on a map that I got at the end of the last summer for doing the scavenger hunt. So there's definitely something different about this place. Plus I've been hearing some rumours since I got here about strange things happenin-

[Whatever pokemon is holding the camera seems to make a noise and Dipper glances behind him. Have those animatronics moved? Probably not. He looks back.]

So we're going to investigate the place and see what we can find out!

[And we go to Dipper investigating the place, talking to people. And probably something you at home might note is that the animatronic Mienshao Ninja, now seems to be orange. And around. Like a lot. Like Dipper is starting to notice. He glances over at the camera as another person almost runs off, claiming that nothing is wrong here he just really needs to leave NOW. Totally nothing to do with animatronics! Also don't work the night shift here!]

Okay so there's something....huh, we might be getting lost, Moon. I think we've passed this one a few times.

[Dipper scratches his head and then turns around.]

Well so far there's the usual, the animatronics are creepy but that seems to be it. ...Maybe Nephelis just really liked pizza and-

[And as the camera looks away there's a zapping noise and a scream and then the camera drops to the ground. The gear is dropped and there's a sound of a fight before Dipper manages to grab the gear back up. He looks slightly singed. There's also very angry Gothitelle who had been holding the camera till now. And may have just attacked something.]

I knew it! It's....

[The camera is now pointed at a beat up, now purple again Mienshao ninja animatronic. With a smug looking Rotom floating above it.]

Really!? Well I guess that explains the weird rumours, since I got here! Faraday, really? This was-

[There's suddenly a voice in the background. Apparently someone heard the fight]

"Hey, what happened to Ninja Nickie! She's all beat up!"

Uh...and that concludes Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained. Tune in next time and maybe we won't be filming this from a jail cell... Run!

[Dipper will pull the Rotom in the pokeball and make a break for it with his other pokemon. So much for the first episode.]

Comments

Re: video

[neverstudied]

... They put kids in prison for kitten theft. [He looks bemused. After a moment, he shakes his head.] You know what, that sounds about right for cops.

Only a summer of that? I dunno if that's a lucky break or not. Guess that depends on your perspective. My partners and I've been at it for a few years- and that's not including the years of them building and testing equipment as professors, dragging me along to supposedly-haunted places to try to get readings back in grad school...

Wait, this guy built a working flying robot in this universe?

video

[starry_forehead]

We got sent to spend the summer with our Grunkle Stan in a town called Gravity Falls and that place is like a weirdness magnet.

And it was great! I mean aside from the times we almost died and that time the world almost ended. We're going back nex- ....well I mean I guess whenever I go back home it'll be next summer. I don't get to go back this summer.

[Small pause because he really, really misses that place. And Mabel and Stan and Wendy and Soos and just ...let's focus on the next part because he's really proud of adopted Grunkle.]

Yeah, McGucket is a genius! He could probably build a giant robot in any universe.

[neverstudied]

Yeah, world ending scenarios are par for the course when you mess with this stuff.

New York's its own little weirdness magnet, but Ray's told me small towns and isolated areas are usually even better hubs for weird supernatural activity.

Good for him, though that means my boys could probably build stuff on that scale on this universe, and I'm not sure anyone's ready for that.

[Especially not Venkman.]

[starry_forehead]

Yeah. ....I mean I'm sure the world could almost end in a lot of other ways. And I wouldn't really be surprised if we got mixed up with that again. I'm just hoping it's not in a way that involves dream demons or whatever Bill was. One Weirdmageddon was enough for me. ...And I like weird things.

[If there was more then one Bill out there, he thinks the multiverse might just explode. Probably into something weird.]

Yeah there's something about Gravity Falls. I want to find other areas too when I can travel more.

What kind of stuff would they build?

[neverstudied]

On the bright side, whatever weird junk inhabits my universe and yours doesn't seem to have followed us here. So world-ending stuff seems a liiiittle less likely here.

[Though the legendary stuff makes him wonder.]

I'd recommend some haunted locations I know, but I dunno if they'll exist in your universe. Or be haunted in your world, if they do exist.

Welllll, Spengs already got arrested for building nuclear weapons, so that's out. Ray already built a car and they both rebuilt some of our ghost-hunting equipment from back home, like the PKE Meter. Kinda tame so far. I give it a few months before Ray gets bored and starts trying to test just what can be considered a "weapon" here and starts making a bunch of prototypes.

They haven't really built functioning robots back home, except for the flock of robot chickens. But I wouldn't put it past 'em to try.

[We're gently discarding that one RGB comic from like 1990 where Egon builds a robot that takes their jobs.]

[starry_forehead]

Maybe. ....I mean there were those weird pokemon that came out of a portal last year. But....that's all I've really seen. I mean you read the pokedex entries about how like half the ghosts kill kids and stuff but I've never even heard of that actually happening for real.

[The entries are really strange.]

Uh...nuclear weapons sound like something you wouldn't want to have people build. Do they even have stuff to build bombs like that here?

[neverstudied]

How do we know all the Pokedex entries are accurate, anyway? Could be some folklore stuff mixed in. Like- Kadabra has that entry about a kid waking up as one, right? How do we know that actually happened?

... That said, Drifloon did try to kidnap Ray once 'cause they thought he was a kid. So some of 'em are definitely on the mark.

Yeah, no kidding. They know what they're doing with what they build, though. Our proton packs- the stuff we use to catch ghosts in our dimension- those're the nukes. They haven't killed anyone yet.

["Yet".]

[starry_forehead]

Oh yeah, he mentioned that. I think that ones true. A swarm of them tried to kidnap me and Mabel one time too.

I still have one I took as a captive and he still tries to kidnap me sometimes.

[It might not have been the best long term plan.]

They are written kind of weirdly. I wonder who gets to decide what the "official" entries are. If it's someone who likes legends, that might explain them.

Oh, that makes more sense.

[Somehow.]

Maybe they didn't want you to accidently hurt the ghost pokemon here? They might react differently then the ghosts from your universe to them.

[neverstudied]

Yep. He and Spengs' kept the Drifloon that trying to steal Ray, too. Man, what is with people into the paranormal and keeping shit that tries to kill us around?

[Including himself.]

I feel like it's gotta be someone real into folklore. Especially with the legendary Pokemon. Which means that there's probably no real, impartial Pokedex entries out there.

Maybe that's part of it, but just 'cause the proton packs aren't meant to be used against people and we don't use 'em against people doesn't mean they can't be dangerous. They definitely count as weapons against people, even if they wouldn't hurt a Pokemon.

[starry_forehead]

We want to study them later and then something goes terribly wrong and we regret it?

[What is safety.]

I'm starting to think that some of them are written about just certain pokemon. Like the person met one or two that acted a certain way and then they decided all of those pokemon must act exactly like the one they met.

Would they explode?

[neverstudied]

Yeah, that scans.

You're probably right. If I were writing these entries, I'd have a whole lot to say about the species I've got, and not a lot of it flattering.

[Dodrio: May attempt to murder their rider if they don't respect them.

Murkrow: Will hold grudges forever. Incredibly petty, may attack the partner of its trainer in a jealous rage, particularly if given other reasons to despise said partner.

Squirtle: Anarchist tendencies. May be found vandalizing police stations and biting cops on the ankles.

And so on and so forth. Actually, he might really need to start doing that.]

... Welllll, they all have self destruct methods as last resorts. Crossing the proton streams can potentially kill the wearers and level a building. Four packs with the safety off and overloaded could wipe out everything in a half-mile radius, at least. And definitely kill the wearer. Lucky us, we haven't been in that situation too often.

[starry_forehead]

People could probably all write up their own pokedex entries and I bet they'd all look different.

Well at least they included the actual impartial data. Like attacks, types, evolutions, levels and that sort of stuff. Maybe it started with just that and someone got bored.

......I can kind of see why they wouldn't want you to have those here. Is there a way to build them so they won't possibly explode and kill everyone?

[neverstudied]

Just because they'd all be different wouldn't make them unscientific, though- it'd just add more to the pool of data from direct observations on each species.

[He started out joking and now he's realizing there's some actually good potential in this idea.]

Yeah, no kidding. And I dunno- I didn't have a hand in the building process. You want specifics, check with Egon or Ray.

[starry_forehead]

It would be interesting to see. ....even if they'd be super long. Maybe not on the pokedex but if they had another place to gather all the information. Then you could collect all the information from people and you'd still have the basic stuff to travel with.

[Best of both worlds.]