[text]

[cyclonely]

hello, poke universe, i'm john egbert! or, general poke land, i guess... poke lands. i have a probably really dumb request but just stay with me here for now. come with me on this, uh, idiot journey.

so, i arrived here two days ago and i thought i knew what was going on. i have done pokemon before, i know how the game works. i even got nostalgic and replayed it four years ago so i'm not THAT out of practice. the thing is, i forgot that stuff that takes maybe ten minutes on the game boy would obviously take much longer in person?

basically, i bought some more snacks but i am still on route 29 with no sight of cherrygrove city and i am out of food. is there anything like a bike delivery service that i can order from because i am not finding it with a preliminary search. i can't afford much because there don't seem to be any people to fight on this route but it would be pretty stupid if i couldn't even make it to the first real city?

did they fix it here so you can ride the horse pokemon, incidentally, because i always thought it was weird that you had to get a bike instead of just putting on a special flame proof saddle and riding a ponyta. or non fire horses i guess because there are actually a lot of pokemon here i don't recognise and i guess a special flame proof saddle would cost the same as a bike anyway.

Comments

[meteorman]

Presumably if the Ponyta likes you enough to allow you to ride it, its flames won't burn you in the first place. Unless you plan on attempting to find and ride a wild one, which I'd very much like to see.

[cyclonely]

oh, really? in that case it should be cheaper than a bike, right? you...are saying you can ride them here, aren't you?

[meteorman]

Yes. Most any Pokémon big enough is technically able to be ridden. Whether they let you on is up to them.

This universe never showed up in mine mirrored via videogame as far as I'm aware, so I'm unfamiliar. However I can hazard a guess that the rules are very different. What works on a computer is not always going to work when it comes to supporting a full ecosystem and society. Which is to say: your options are likely more open than you think.

[cyclonely]

see, i mostly agree with you on this except that i tried to climb up one of those little ledges and i just couldn't. so obviously there is still some weird cross over but i will definitely keep that in mind in future, thanks!

i mean, it will be pretty hard to forget how much this sucks right now realistically.

[meteorman]

Oh yes, the ledges are one of this universe's particular quirks. And the music, which I'm sure you've noticed. There's also the relatively-advanced teleportation technology available in the buildings that provide completely free housing and healthcare right next to the almost complete lack of short-distance public or personal vehicular transportation. It's a fascinating world you've fallen into, much as it 'sucks' currently.

That said, if you're stuck and in need of transportation while you adjust, I'd be willing to fly out and drop you in Cherrygrove. Falkor can carry two.

[text]

[captainash]

I don't recall a delivery service that reaches route 29, but there should theoretically be enough edible plants to sustain you. The trip takes three days, though, so if you can find literally any other option I'd suggest taking it.
I'd offer to send you supplies myself, but by the time my birds reach you you'll probably be in Cherrygrove. Maybe there's someone closer?

[cyclonely]

three days?! sheesh...

i haven't camped for...over a decade so i was trying to avoid foraging but i guess i will have to if there's no other option. how likely is it that i'm going to poison myself by trying?

[captainash]

If you don't eat the berries, you'll be fine. If you eat the berries, you're going to beg your starter for a quick, merciful death. Probably while it snacks on the damn things, because Pokémon are immune to their unpleasant effects and it's very unfair.

[cyclonely]

ok, that shouldn't be too hard. wild berries are pretty suspicious a lot of the time anyway.

[Text]

[cyan_maid]

[John.

It's John.

John, in some capacity, has been here before - Jane knows John, remembers him, and though her heart tells her to hold back, to remember that Dirk came back and he's not like he was before, what if the same happened to John-

She can't not reach out.]

John!!!
Oh my goodness! I - this is so unexpected, and yet, somehow I am almost perfectly positioned to help remedy your situation!
I'm in Violet City, but I can warp to Cherrygrove and if you're two days on the road, then we should be able to meet up within the day!
I have supplies, you'll be fine, I


Oh, shoot, right - um, this is Jane, by the way? Jane Crocker. But I'm nineteen because I've been here for a couple of years, okay? I promise it makes sense in context! But for now I'd like to make sure you keep yourself safe and sound instead of diving into the minutia of Weird Pokemon Bullshit.

[bOOKING IT TO THE POKEMON CENTER NOW]

[cyclonely]

oh! hey, jane! i honestly didn't expect you to be here but i guess i shouldn't be surprised about time line crap any more at this point.

i am actually 23, sorry. i guess i will explain that later too when you show up and tell me about your situation? i'll also do my best to avoid the minutia of weird pokemon bullshit but there is a lot! i might not be able to do that!

[cyan_maid]

I mean, surprise is a fair and valid emotion to feel about it, don't let me stop you there.
And...huh!
That's fine, but also oddly coincidental.
I'm going to hold my questions until I can ask them in person, then.

Hoo, yes, the minutia of Weird Pokemon Bullshit is at this point unavoidable.
I prefer it to Sburb's penchant for bullshit, but even so, it's not like that's a high bar to jump.

[There's a pause in between this response and the next; she's warping to Cherrygrove.]

Okay! The easy part of the journey is done, and now it's time for the more tedious part.
Let me know if there's anything that seems particularly landmark-ish to you nearby, okay? I'll keep an eye out.

[cyclonely]

yes, i think we can agree that most bullshit is an improvement over sburb bullshit.

[John is holding his questions as well, and back to walking and trying to convince his Bunnelby to let him carry her so there's about two minutes between Jane's eventual response and his own.]

i can see an actual path again, if that helps? i just came out from a sort of narrow tree area. there are also a bunch of ledges but that's probably not helpful considering how many ledges i've already seen.

[yousayyes]

[Winston's about as new as John is- and he's taking the cruise ship to Kanto, so he really can't help on the "is there an UberEats in the Pokeworld" front. But while he already has the text feature open, he should at least pitch in his two cents about horses... being an unwitting equine owner himself.]

If it helps, my digital encyclopedia says "Mudbray can be loaded with 50 times its own body weight and will be totally fine." So, I guess it should be possible to ride it?

...that being said, it's still only about three feet tall so I don't exactly feel comfortable with the idea of sitting on its back and making it carry me. Both from a physical and ethical standpoint.

[cyclonely]

they seem pretty intelligent so maybe you can just ask your mudbray if it wants to try carrying you? i don't think it will do it if it doesn't want to.

i don't think i could even ride a three foot tall horse without, like, standing on its back like a skateboard, though.

[yousayyes]

Yeah- I wasn't even thinking of the Permission angle, I was thinking more about how... even if you COULD ride an animal half your height, that doesn't mean you SHOULD. Sounds like it'd be awkward for everybody involved.

Personally, I'd try for some kind of horse carriage setup instead of riding them directly, but I'm not sure if that'd be much faster than just walking.

...also, seriously considering "horse-and-buggy" as a travel option is making me miss Ecto-1.

BLESS YOU

[cyclonely]

ok so i can't believe i forgot wagons for horses were a thing but that's not important right now.

do you actually have an ecto-1 replica at home or is that just what you call your car?!

[TEXT - LOCKED]

[uber_marionettist]

[What. No, really. What.

Okay. Dirk isn't feeling super hot, but that's probably the aftermath of his aborted efforts at the Ruins. It's like his throat itches, or needs... a coat of lotion or something. Coupled with what feels like the start of a dehydration headache, it's just unpleasant enough to be distracting.

So seeing John's dark blues is probably throwing him off harder than it should be.
He's not gonna lose his cool over it, but--]

Quick question. Were you dead before you got here, by any chance?

[cyclonely]

uh. what?

[uber_marionettist]

Don't give me that. The question was pretty clear, were you just dead or not?

I know, it's a shitty hello, but there are some essential matters at stake.

[cyclonely]

dirk? ok, right, roxy did say you had "thoughts" and knew about all this.

yeah. lord english basically vored me to death? you probably know that though. was there a cool funeral? did terezi tell all of you my super cool last words in her eulogy? hehe.

[islandshore]

Wait. JOHN?

[Shoot. He hasn't seen that blue text in ages...

But of course, John doesn't remember him. Riku's used to this by now. Shoot. Talk about an awkward first impression, though.]

Okay, so, probably gonna sound crazy, but you were here before. Happens all the time. Dunno how many people still here would recognize you, but the name's Riku.

Anyway, you can pretty much ride anything that's big enough to carry a human. Kinda slim pickings around Route 29, but I got some Skiddo eggs if you're looking for a quick fix.

[Maybe not the most intimidating choice, but hey. Memories or not, John's a cool dude. Might as well help a guy out.]

[cyclonely]

it would sound crazy to a lot of people maybe but i practically just talked to two other versions of myself either a week or billions of years ago. there are a lot of mes out there! i am sorry i don't know you, though. that also happens a lot...

it is nice to meet you for the first time as this version of me, riku! i don't know what i told you but if we were friends i'm sure the other version of me would want you to know we won the game. unless that version had also already won.

what is a skiddo, exactly?

[islandshore]

Geez. Meeting parallel versions of yourself sounds... weird. Kinda get the feeling that if it ever happened to me, I'd probably hate myself.

Heh. Well, congrats on winning. Now you've got a whole new 'game' to explore. One that's... technically more open ended? Or maybe the better term's never ending.

Anyway, skiddo's a goat Pokemon. Grass type, and one of the only species out there that can actually hop ledges.

Because seriously, those ledges are cursed.

[cyclonely]

it was past versions of me who were about to do some really cool things so i mostly just felt happy for their upcoming adventures! i didn't really talk to them for very long, though, so i don't know for sure.

never ending is ok in this case because it's such a nice game. it is just collecting pets and training them! that's really peaceful in comparison.

i...guess it makes sense that a goat could get up them, even though it doesn't make any sense that i can't. if you just have some extras i would love to have one. i don't want to take advantage of a friend of my other self or anything.