victory_road | text | private fail

I I know - I've always known Please don't think I - that I feel otherwise.

I never thought otherwise. I only want you to know that I understand. Not your exact situation, but... I've lost... everything... and it... it is never easy to talk about, to think about.

I understand if you don't want to speak on it. Truly. But I'm here for you, whenever you need me.

I God, this has to seem so ridiculous, huh? I know it's all right - I know he's safe and What right to I have to complain?

There's nothing ridiculous about what you're feeling. If I were in your position now, I... I don't know what I'd do.

If I may... on Altea, we had a tradition that perhaps... might help you find a measure of peace. I know it isn't much, but it might help you find some closure.

You'd be as strong as you always have been. Braver than ever, I think.

[Not to say she wouldn't be hurt - he knows that. But he also can't not tell her he thinks she'd carry on, too. Like she always has. In the face of much greater hurt.]

Hey, if nothing else you know I always like hearing about your world.

[ She wonders if that's really true--if she hasn't reached a threshold where one more loss might push her over the edge, and especially one as painful as the loss of a lover and all the future happiness he would take with him.

But this isn't about her, and she didn't mean to make it seem that way. ]

When we lose a loved one, it is customary to plant a tree in their honor. You plant it in a peaceful place, where you might visit and reflect on cherished memories. In this way, a part of them is with you always.

[ It's a funerary tradition, if that isn't obvious from her phrasing. Matt isn't dead, certainly, but he isn't here, either, and his absence feels like a death in many ways. Maybe it could help Shiro work through his feelings? ]

[It's just Shiro's natural deflection mechanism. Make it about someone else. It's easier, that way. It always is.]

That That sounds nice. Really beautiful. I... may even know a place

[It is obvious. He's scolding himself already for asking, for wanting it. Matt's not dead. He's fine, and well back in their world. He should be able to handle this.]

I'm sorry I'm I should be better, by now, you know?

There is no time limit on recovery, Shiro. It's only been a few months. The fact that you're still hurting is entirely understandable. The hurt never really goes away--not entirely. But... the edges dull, over time. That sharpness fades, and you can breathe again.

My mother died when I was a child. There was a shuttle accident, and we crashed. It was

It was because of Voltron, in truth. Not every world believed in and supported the Paladins of old. They took action against us and my mother paid the price. She might have lived, but that she saved me--protected me with her own body.

We planted a tree for her spirit when I was well enough to attend functions again. Whenever I felt sad or lonely, I would go and visit her tree in the Forest of the Ancestors, and for just a moment it would feel like she was with me again.

Now, even her tree is gone.

It... I

She would not want me to spend my life mourning her. She would want me to be free to live with an open heart. She would want the memory of her to bring me joy, not sorrow.

Matthew would want the same for you. I want that for you.

Choose a place, and I will come to you. We can plant the tree together. Maybe Pidge as well? I think it would do her good, too.

I should be. That's - that's why you picked me. Because I could handle anything I could take anything I'm supposed to be able to

[Well that shut his dumb ass up.]

[For a lot of reasons. How could he complain, in the face of how much other people have suffered? And why can't he teleport himself? To where she is?]

Allura, I I had no idea. That - I'm so sorry.

[What else can you say?] I can't imagine how that feels. It - if you ever need to talk or vent I You know I'll listen. But I'd be honored. On one condition. You do one too. Please.

[Pidge, too. Maybe they can make a whole other forest.]

There's no need for you to apologize, Shiro, and that is not the reason the Black Lion chose you to be its paladin. You are strong, yes, but your ability to endure suffering is not what makes you great. You give yourself too little credit if you believe that.

[ A few minutes later... ]

I agree to your condition. You know I'd do anything for you.

I spoke with Keith as well, and he says he'd also like to participate. I think it will be a good thing, for all of us.

[Well, he thinks there's a lot of reasons to apologize, but keeps that to himself for now.]

Yes ma'am.

[It's hard to believe it, hard to accept it - so he's happier to move on.]

In that case, yeah. I'm game for it.

Discuss it with Pidge? We'll need a bit of time to procure the plants and make other preparations.

Yeah, of course. It'll take me some time to get back, too.

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