victory_road | text | private fail

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text | private fail | 5/29

hypothetically How many days without sleep is ... approaching dangerous levels? Factor in substituting Espresso. Asking for a friend

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[It's probably something he needed to hear. Someone probably, definitely, needed to smack him out of this. Shake him out of it. But it's still a punch in the chest. Being reminded of how childish this truly is. Because Armin has legitimately lost people he cares for. Shiro... hasn't. Not in this case.]

[It's running - like always. Like every other time something went wrong. Like he'd said he wouldn't do.]

[It's some time before he finds the words he needs. And even then, they sound shaky.]

I'm not... doing this on purpose. [What everyone seems to believe. Which, really, he doesn't blame them for. It is something he'd have done, purposefully, in the past.] I'm not trying to do this.

[But he should be better by now. He should be able to beat this without resorting to drastic, Haunter-related measures. Shouldn't he?]

I'm trying to move forward. Move on. That's - that's what this whole trip is about and.

[And it isn't helping.]

I don't think you need to move on. Well, I suppose it depends on your definition of moving on, but I don't think anyone is expecting you to forget about him or stop hurting. We just... want you to take care of yourself too.

I'm trying.

[Going out and hiking around, fighting gyms, that's supposed to help. And some days it does. Some days it does take his mind off things.]

Armin, I promise - this isn't purposeful. I wouldn't have tried to reach out if it were.

[Granted, he'd tried to call Krieg but still.]

But why didn't you tell anyone you weren't sleeping? Or ask for our help? You don't need to do everything alone, Shiro. We can help you.

[Because Armin was dealing with the theft of his whole Lapras pod, Lance was dealing with Adulting, Pidge was hurting just as much, Keith and Allura were happy... Jean didn't know him...]

[An army of reasons. But it all boiled down to--]

Just kind of seemed trivial with what you guys were dealing with.

[--putting his own needs last. As he always did in troubling times.]

Perhaps you should let us decide what we feel is trivial or not.

If something like this was happening to any of us, you'd be worrying yourself sick about us.

... Yeah.

Yeah I know. I know I would be.

Then let us worry about you too.

[In fact, Armin is going to straight-up, immediately launch into that so Shiro cannot wriggle away.]

What have you been trying to do about your insomnia? I thought you always let Haunter put you to sleep.

[Ughhhh...]

Haunter's been battling a lot since we've started traveling. I was trying to let it have a break.

Or two.

[And Haunter had been so heartbroken over the loss of its wife when Jean disappeared... it still hasn't entirely recovered.]

[Don't you uggghhh at him, young man.]

Did you discuss that with Haunter?

I know you wanted it to have a break, and you have good intentions, but it might be worrying a lot about you too.

Not lately...

[He could lie and say yes. But - that would be lying. Even if he was good at that kind of thing, he couldn't do that to Armin.]

I figured, if it needed to, it'd break out of its ball.

Like Blue and Kuro do.

[For drastically different reasons.]

Haunter is not that sort of pokemon, though.

[It is certainly a lot more polite than Blue. But then, what pokemon isn't?]

You should discuss it with Haunter. If you really think it agrees with how you are handling things, then that shouldn't be a problem. It would be a very short talk.

[There is no good reason to avoid talking to it. Unless you'd, say, know deep down inside that Haunter would have a problem with what you are doing. Hmmmmmmmm.]

Neither is Kuro, unless he has to be. He... broke out a few times that one October.

[You remember, Armin. The Nightmare Forest. None of Shiro's pokemon wanted to stay in their balls after that one.]

... Yeah. All right. We'll talk.

[Eventually.]

Today.

[Very steely voiced.]

Promise me, Shiro. Promise me you will discuss this with Haunter today.

[Yes, mother.]

Fine. I will try.

Just try?

Yes, Armin. I promise you I will try.

All right.

[He doesn't sound entirely convinced, but honestly, Shiro hasn't had the best track record at taking care of himself.]

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text | private fail | 5/29

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