▲ voice 2

[burnishingmad]

[There isn't much noise in the background of the recording, just his normal bgm and the sounds of the city of Goldenrod.]

So. Are there clones of Officer Jenny, or is she just really fast?

Comments

[Voice]

[strings_theory]

[This is her brand of fuckery, this is amazing.]

Surprise, they're all actually figments of your fucking imagination and there's only one. You look away for a second and she's there looming behind you. Because you fucked up and she knows it.

[She believes none of this and figures it's just a bunch of weird identical family, but why not.]

[burnishingmad]

[He does not believe your bullshit for a second.]

With that theory, how often does she sneak up on you?

[strings_theory]

[He really shouldn't, she's not even trying to be serious about it.]

Mmm. Can't say I've really done anything to warrant getting arrested, surprisingly. Something something trying to stay out of trouble in this place since prison sucks dick elsewhere something something. Y'know how it is, man.

[burnishingmad]

[Completely deadpan:] No, I wouldn't know how it is.

[strings_theory]

Spoilers: it sucks.

Also it totally wasn't my fault I ended up there, just so you don't get the wrong idea. [She's actually not lying but that's the most liar way of explaining that, so you know, just run with it or whatever.]

But dude, they're probably just some weird-ass family that looks uncannily the same or whatever. Same shit for the nurses in the Pokemon Center, I don't get it but they have different personalities from what I can tell.

[burnishingmad]

I'll have to take your word for it.

... What about the nurses? [HE HASN'T SEEN JOY YET.]

[Voice]

[puddlesoverdios]

I did wonder...

[Voice]

[strings_theory]

[YOU CANNOT BE TAKING THIS SERIOUSLY...]

Gramma. Gramma no.

[Voice]

[puddlesoverdios]

[Is that fear she senses, Jolly?]

For someone who runs so quickly, I had thought that, perhaps, her legs would be more shapely. Like your grandfather's.

[Voice]

[strings_theory]

[AAAAAAA...]

Oh my god, that's not what I meant. Stoooop.

ALSO I DON'T NEED OR WANT TO KNOW ABOUT HOW HIS LEGS ARE.

[Voice]

[puddlesoverdios]

But we're not talking about Jonathan's legs, dear heart. We're talking about Officer Jenny's.


[A pause. A beat. The smile in her voice is obvious.]

But his are very nice, yes.

[Voice]

[strings_theory]

[Please just end her now. Just end her absolute fucking suffering.]

I don't need to knooooow. [Do enjoy that pitiful whine.]

[Voice]

[puddlesoverdios]

[Suffer~]

There, there, Jolly.

[She can't take it anymore and immediately erupts into laughter.]

[Voice]

[strings_theory]

[Nooooo.]

THAT WAS JUST PURE-ASS RUDE.

[Voice]

[puddlesoverdios]

[There is only one response to this, and it's laughter.]

I am very sorry!

[She doesn't sound sorry, in fact, she is still giggling.]


You just sounded so concerned...!

[Voice]

[strings_theory]

[She's not at all sorry and she knows this! Good thing she can't see her flustering and pouting, so, so very good.]

Look, you never know what people 'round here are gonna believe. It's just a shitpost and all that, I ain't got a damn clue what the deal with these people are other than I guess weird family genetics. [AS IF YOU CAN TALK, JOLYNE. LOOK AT YOUR FAMILY.]

voice; what if I wasn't dead

[burnishingmad]

It is strange, isn't it? Enough to question.

[spacebaloney]

I'm pretty sure they're all alien clones.

Like really hot alien clones, but alien clones all the same. Same for Nurse Joy.

[burnishingmad]

What brings you to aliens?

[spacebaloney]

I spent some time in space. Like 80% of the time, things can be explained by either a wormhole or aliens.

[Lance was never good in statistics.]

Clones are definitely alien related. Trust me on that one.

[burnishingmad]

[HE'S... glad it was that and not something else.]

I'll have to. I've never experienced clones or wormholes.

voice;

[shiro2hero]

Aren't... they all just identical siblings?

Or something like that?

voice

[burnishingmad]

Are they? I haven't heard anything about it, so I wondered.

[shiro2hero]

Maybe.

It was honestly years ago I even tried figuring it out.

[burnishingmad]

You've really been here that long...

[JEEZ HOW LONG IS HE STUCK HERE.]

And from the sounds of it you never found a confident answer.

[shiro2hero]

I really have.

[Why does that sound like an apology?]

No. It's hard to find answers about how this place works - reliable ones, anyway. You hit a point where you start... accepting things.

[Voice]

[carbonatedscientist]

There's only one way to find out for certain, but getting some DNA samples and a lab to do genetic testing in would be rather difficult at this point. But clones sound far more plausible than a single individual moving that quickly.

voice

[burnishingmad]

Is genetic testing that difficult here?

But I agree, I just wasn't sure to rule out speed.

voice

[carbonatedscientist]

Difficult to perform myself without a laboratory, I should say. I'd imagine it's entirely possible for others, you'd just have to have enough money.

I suppose stranger things than speed have happened, true, but it's best to test one variable at a time.

Re: voice

[burnishingmad]

Of course. A controlled test to figure it out one element at a time.

[Look he's not the smartest guy, but he's at least book smart.]

What kind of stranger things have you seen?

voice

[carbonatedscientist]

A malevolent alien entity flawlessly altering people's features, for one thing.

[Said casually, like he might be commenting on a particularly heavy rain.]

voice

[sleepallthewayhome]

They might be androids.

Re: voice

[burnishingmad]

Androids?

Is that a problem in your world?

[HE'S STILL SOFT... But only for Newt and Newt only.]

voice

[sleepallthewayhome]

Oh, they're not a problem. But my world has androids and they look just like people. So I thought maybe they might just not tell people here.

I've only ever met one in my world though.

[burnishingmad]

Interesting.

[It's probably bad. Or maybe it's good? If they look just like people, wouldn't they blend right in, with no problems? Unless that is the problem.]

They didn't cause trouble there, did they?

[sleepallthewayhome]

Maybe? People cause trouble and they're just like people only different.

[In Newt's mind, androids are just people but stronger. She knows Ripley has an Issue with them which is a warning sign but then again, Bishop both Came Back and saved her life too so...]

So I guess if there's a bad android they could cause trouble like a bad person could.

[burnishingmad]

[Oh... Oh his shriveled up heart.]

I think that's the safest way to look at a situation like that.

[HE'S VERY PROUD OF YOU NEWT. KEEP THINKING LIKE THAT.]

[sleepallthewayhome]

[If she's learnt one thing it that the only things that are just plain evil are the xenomorphs/murder aliens and also large corporations.]

Yeah.

And here everyone turns human...so I guess maybe they aren't androids. Unless only the people brought here get turned human.

The Nurse's are like that too. They're nice.

voice

[islandshore]

Maybe they've got a legion of talking Dittos and Zoroarks specially trained in the art of incompetent law enforcement. For all we know, the Joys could be in on it, too.

Just one elaborate ploy to avoid paying members on the force by using Pokemon substitutes.

[It's said with a hint of a chuckle and a pretty flippant tone. Funnily, this kinda setup isn't even that infeasible compared to everything else he's seen over the past decade.]

[burnishingmad]

[Yeah, Lio's no stranger to sarcasm and jokes. Gueira trained him on that attitude easily enough.]

It's always the authorities who somehow avoid paying jobs and taxes, isn't it?