ʟᴀɴᴄᴇ ᴍᴄᴄʟᴀɪɴ (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
spacebaloney) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
victory_road2021-03-06 09:03 pm
spacebaloney) wrote in victory_road2021-03-06 09:03 pm
» video
[Here, before your lovely eyes, is a man swaddled in a blue silk robe that looks expensive (and it probably is considering Lance has self-care spending problems) with a white towel wrapped perfectly around his head. His skin is a nicely sun-bronzed brown under the green stuff smeared all over it, a face mask concoction mixed up on Lance's own, but he grins at the camera as if he's dressed in his Sunday best.]
Hey guys! How's winter treating you? Actually, a better question is, how is winter treating your skin? Your hair? Are you taking care of them? Are you taking care of you?
[Lance shakes his head slowly, looking heartbroken over the likelihood too many of the trainers out there will say no.]
So here's my idea: something for those who want to learn the finer arts of self-care. Beauty. How to tell that cowlick to get the fuck out of here, you're messing up my selfies. A club kinda thing? Yes, we have spas here and as someone who's visited them all in my years here, they're... okay. But they aren't hitting the way I want them to. Plus they're expensive and I'm sure most of you guys won't want to drop that many Pokedollars on a one hour massage. Not to mention, they have to be intimidating if you don't know what you want or like. Trust me, I feel you.
How about it? A nice little gathering of likeminded souls who appreciate or want to appreciate pedicures and manicures and scalp massages in between all the Pokemon battling. People who want to learn how to make their own high quality deep conditioners from stuff found in their kitchen. People who are interested in learning how to moisturize not only their hands, but their elbows and knees and every other part of their body.
[The view quickly cuts to the side view of Lance who turns his head towards the second camera, eyes blazing with judgement, because of course he has a Staryutube type set up.]
Armin, I'm looking at you.
Hey guys! How's winter treating you? Actually, a better question is, how is winter treating your skin? Your hair? Are you taking care of them? Are you taking care of you?
[Lance shakes his head slowly, looking heartbroken over the likelihood too many of the trainers out there will say no.]
So here's my idea: something for those who want to learn the finer arts of self-care. Beauty. How to tell that cowlick to get the fuck out of here, you're messing up my selfies. A club kinda thing? Yes, we have spas here and as someone who's visited them all in my years here, they're... okay. But they aren't hitting the way I want them to. Plus they're expensive and I'm sure most of you guys won't want to drop that many Pokedollars on a one hour massage. Not to mention, they have to be intimidating if you don't know what you want or like. Trust me, I feel you.
How about it? A nice little gathering of likeminded souls who appreciate or want to appreciate pedicures and manicures and scalp massages in between all the Pokemon battling. People who want to learn how to make their own high quality deep conditioners from stuff found in their kitchen. People who are interested in learning how to moisturize not only their hands, but their elbows and knees and every other part of their body.
[The view quickly cuts to the side view of Lance who turns his head towards the second camera, eyes blazing with judgement, because of course he has a Staryutube type set up.]
Armin, I'm looking at you.
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Thanks, man. You're a good friend to me. [Honestly. Who else understands his slight, okay full, obsession with beauty care?] My place or yours? Or should we wait and see if we get any other interested folks and use it as an instructional course thing?
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Ah... every time you say so, I feel my AI spark.
[He means that in the best way possible, okay. Friendships are uh. They're hard for him, okay.]
Mm, perhaps we wait. However, my home is always open to you, should you need it.
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[And wholly teasing. The trollish grin cracking through the green goo on his face says that much.]
Good to know. I'm hoping we might get more people interested sooner or later that we'll have to rent a space out, but I'm keeping my expectations low.
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[He'd kind of gone off.]
Why would you? You're a charismatic individual, knowledgeable in this topic.
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[He's offended too, but he know Maru's got his back.]
I am, I am, but remember, people who don't brush their hair. There's more of them than us.
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[He says it very matter-of-fact but in the "can you believe this shit" way. Because he clearly doesn't.]
How unfortunate. Perhaps they can be swayed.
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[Lance is ready to rumble!]
Sometimes, but other times, we have to take the brush into our own hands. I should know. I'm hitched to one of those folks.
[Lord knows if Lance didn't brush Pidge's hair for her daily, she'd have a Pidgey nest up there.]
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[Don't fight, Lance, the stress will give you wrinkles.]
Do they not appreciate your efforts?
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[Too late! He's a space wartorn fighter! Is there a Pokemon equivalent to Botox here?]
She does. It's not that she doesn't appreciate it, it's just that... Pidge isn't like other girls. Our age or older.
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[Seriously, the idea of Lance doing either of those things had literally never occurred to him.]
How so?
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She's not girly. At all. She doesn't care about makeup or dresses or boys or parties or anything like that. In fact, when I first met her, I thought she was a boy. If it's not science or tech, she doesn't pay much attention to it.
[If anything, all this relationship proves is that opposites do attract.]
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