ʟᴀɴᴄᴇ ᴍᴄᴄʟᴀɪɴ (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
spacebaloney) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
victory_road2021-03-06 09:03 pm
spacebaloney) wrote in victory_road2021-03-06 09:03 pm
» video
[Here, before your lovely eyes, is a man swaddled in a blue silk robe that looks expensive (and it probably is considering Lance has self-care spending problems) with a white towel wrapped perfectly around his head. His skin is a nicely sun-bronzed brown under the green stuff smeared all over it, a face mask concoction mixed up on Lance's own, but he grins at the camera as if he's dressed in his Sunday best.]
Hey guys! How's winter treating you? Actually, a better question is, how is winter treating your skin? Your hair? Are you taking care of them? Are you taking care of you?
[Lance shakes his head slowly, looking heartbroken over the likelihood too many of the trainers out there will say no.]
So here's my idea: something for those who want to learn the finer arts of self-care. Beauty. How to tell that cowlick to get the fuck out of here, you're messing up my selfies. A club kinda thing? Yes, we have spas here and as someone who's visited them all in my years here, they're... okay. But they aren't hitting the way I want them to. Plus they're expensive and I'm sure most of you guys won't want to drop that many Pokedollars on a one hour massage. Not to mention, they have to be intimidating if you don't know what you want or like. Trust me, I feel you.
How about it? A nice little gathering of likeminded souls who appreciate or want to appreciate pedicures and manicures and scalp massages in between all the Pokemon battling. People who want to learn how to make their own high quality deep conditioners from stuff found in their kitchen. People who are interested in learning how to moisturize not only their hands, but their elbows and knees and every other part of their body.
[The view quickly cuts to the side view of Lance who turns his head towards the second camera, eyes blazing with judgement, because of course he has a Staryutube type set up.]
Armin, I'm looking at you.
Hey guys! How's winter treating you? Actually, a better question is, how is winter treating your skin? Your hair? Are you taking care of them? Are you taking care of you?
[Lance shakes his head slowly, looking heartbroken over the likelihood too many of the trainers out there will say no.]
So here's my idea: something for those who want to learn the finer arts of self-care. Beauty. How to tell that cowlick to get the fuck out of here, you're messing up my selfies. A club kinda thing? Yes, we have spas here and as someone who's visited them all in my years here, they're... okay. But they aren't hitting the way I want them to. Plus they're expensive and I'm sure most of you guys won't want to drop that many Pokedollars on a one hour massage. Not to mention, they have to be intimidating if you don't know what you want or like. Trust me, I feel you.
How about it? A nice little gathering of likeminded souls who appreciate or want to appreciate pedicures and manicures and scalp massages in between all the Pokemon battling. People who want to learn how to make their own high quality deep conditioners from stuff found in their kitchen. People who are interested in learning how to moisturize not only their hands, but their elbows and knees and every other part of their body.
[The view quickly cuts to the side view of Lance who turns his head towards the second camera, eyes blazing with judgement, because of course he has a Staryutube type set up.]
Armin, I'm looking at you.
video;
[He should know. He's got experience.]
And you get to keep her by keeping up on yourself.
video;
[He certainly doesn't want to just assume that because Angel agreed to date him, he can now kick back and he won't need to worry about staying attentive.]
I'll ask Angel if this is the sort of thing she cares about.
[If she does, he'll subject himself to Lance's whole thing. Pedicure, manicure, lotioning -- the works.]
video;
[Says the guy who once hit on Angel himself and goes rejected. What does he even know?]
Why ask her? Just do it and let it be a surprise. Imagine her coming home from a hard day at work of doing whatever she does for a living and there you are, dressed to kill, smelling good, looking good, hair laid... You'll be a major sex god she won't be able to keep her hands off of.
[And if she doesn't, Lance will still be trying to get Armin to subject himself to these shenanigans. LOOK, HE DOESN'T KNOW MUCH, BUT HE KNOWS LOTION.]