victory_road | January Catchall [closed]

[Well, if Dimitri is going to just stand there clearly Chip can just take the caramel and start absolutely destroying this proto-s'more with it, right?]

He didn't have to, he looks at you like how Dad looks at Shiro.

[how does this child know so much]

[Still, destroying the proto-s'more with caramel was the plan, so it's not like Dimitri stops them. He has slightly more pressing matters to deal with.]

I... How did you know about Shiro? And I hadn't thought Dedue was looking at me in any particular way...

[For a man who has learned to read the most minute of Dedue's facial expressions to see when he's happy eating a meal, this is one of Dimitri's biggest blind spots.]

[they see everything]

'Cuz he doesn't do it when you're looking.

[...Chip. Chip you didn't answer the other question--]

[Slowly, Dimitri starts setting up the graham base of his own s'more monstrosity - s'morstrosity - without any real mind to it. He's still staring, boggled.]

You mean he... He does it behind my back?

[Chip frowns up at Dimitri.]

You do it, too.

...I cannot deny that.

[Or he could, but then he'd be a LIAR who was LYING to CHIP and dimitri's heart can't take that kind of betrayal]

I just.... did not think Dedue did it.

Why not?

[And it is here that Dimitri flounders. More than he was already, at least.]

[When he had been confronted on the matter by Felix, and then Grant and Claude when the whole thing had been brought up in one of their talks, Dimitri had gone in depth on all of his concerns about pursuing a relationship with Dedue. He'd re-explained the Tragedy, the genocide, his role and Dedue's, his fears and anxities...]

[Chip is very bright when they want to be, he's certain. He doesn't want to treat them like an idiot. It's just...]

[How is he supposed to explain all of this to them? And why does it feel so hard?]

[The end visible result is Dimitri looking like his brain is going to melt out of his ears, painfully, while his fingers keep flexing over the marshmallow bag in his grip and making the saddest little puff sounds.]

[Give. Give him a second.]

...Back in Fodlan... Dedue has the position of my most trusted knight, essentially. My right hand, in some cases, different from Felix.

I spent almost the entire time we knew one another trying to convince him to just so much as call me by my name, like proper friends. But so often, he wouldn't even do that... no matter if we were in private.

So it is... hard to imagine feelings like that for me.

[And it's a very complicated thing for Dimitri! Social expectations, the knowledge of the difference in status, having to worry about the optics of things like that...]

...that's just him being polite.

[Shame Chip doesn't know shit about fuck in politics.]

[Okay. So. Hold on. Let him just put down the bag of marshmallows and, like. pick out the most squished ones for his s'more.]

...It's polite for friends to not call you by name?

[Chip he loves you dearly, but also he's pretty sure that's the OPPOSITE of how it works]

Well, 'cuz you're like. A king and stuff?

[This made more sense in their head. Hm.]

...

[Chip shoves their plate of messy s'more into the microwave, hits the one minute button, and then grabs Dimitri's hand to drag him along with them...somewhere? They are Going.]

But I told him it was alright if he called me by my name, if we were alone in a place, just the two of us...

[Dimitri doesn't even question OR think to stop Chip as they grab his hand and Just Go. Instead, he's still in the middle of distressedly explaining himself, gesturing with a packet of graham crackers he's still holding onto for.... some reason.]

Well, we can ask him again now! DEDUE!!!

[no items fox only final destination]

[Dedue is entirely unaware of the fact that Chip is an agent of chaos and only knows that they're calling for him. As any reasonable adult would do in this situation, he puts down whatever he's doing right now and finds the child.]

[But when he looks into the room, Chip is standing there with Dimitri, and everything seems... fine? Usually people only yell for him like that when something's Wrong and they need a brick shithouse to deal with it.]

Is something the matter?

Do you wanna kiss Dimitri? Because he wants to kiss you but he thinks you don't like him.

[Because if no one else is going to ask the ding dang question--]

[what]

[For a moment, Dimitri is so stunned at what Chip is proposing that his brain just formally breaks down. He'd sort of - well, he'd previously been determined to carry these feelings with him to his grave, and had only recently been fussing about even so much as asking if Dedue was interested in men.]

[He hasn't even had a chance to prepare.]

[Both for the bigger issue, and for Dedue just - appearing there in the doorway as Chip drags him along. Dimitri can almost do nothing more than stare.]

[His brain kicks in, belatedly. Panicking. Unable to stop the words out of Chip's mouth.]

Dedue! It is nothing!

[He could probably cover Chip's mouth or just carry them off. It doesn't occur to Dimitri to do any of those things.]

[Dimitri says that it's nothing while Chip says... something about kissing, and Dedue must have heard them wrong because it sounded as though they asked if he wanted to kiss His Highness. Which is a very strange thing for a child to ask, especially considering that Dimitri is romantically involved with his father.]

I beg your pardon? [He looks from Chip to Dimitri, as though one of them will have reasonable answers.] What is going on?

It's not nothing! [Chip glares up at Dimitri and--they do NOT kick his shin but they think very hard about doing it and remember that they love him and good people don't hurt others.] 'Cuz you said you look when he's not looking and I saw Dedue looking at you the same way all the time and if you both love eachother you should kiss!

[Now they pout up at Dedue.] Right?

[oh no oh no oh no- Dimitri hastily leans down towards Chip with one hand on their shoulder, while the other gestures frantically with graham crackers.]

Chip, I know, but this particular thing - [oh god how does he explain this to Dedue.] Dedue, it is just - I-

[How can he juggle both child, and also Dedue?????]

Dedue do you like men!?

[WHY DID HE SAY THAT]

[Dimitri looks pained, and just presses the graham crackers against his face.]

I mean.... I am. sorry.

[Ah. So Chip did, in fact, ask Dedue if he would like to kiss His Highness. That sure is a thing.]

[And while the answer is yes, it's also a conditional yes, based off of whether Dimitri would also like to kiss him, and since he's quite certain the answer to that is no--]

[Except that Chip says if you both love each other and that indicates that Dimitri has said something on this topic? The very specific topic of kissing vassals, and may have said something to the affirmative?]

Um.

[And then Dimitri opens his mouth, and somehow things get even more awkward, and might also be venturing into territory that shouldn't be discussed in front of Chip? It almost certainly shouldn't be discussed while Dimitri is hiding his face behind a half-empty packet of graham crackers. It doesn't even actually hide his entire face?]

[Is that the microwave beeping?]

Chip, would you mind if I had a moment with His Highness?

[Just. Leave the adults to the chaos that you have wrought, child.]

[Chip frowns and looks from Dimitri, to Dedue, to Dimitri again, and opens their mouth--]

[BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP]

Oh, the s'mores! Just a sec!

[And off they go!]

[Is it possible for him to just fade away and die here? Dimitri wonders that, even as he slowly straightens up and tries to take in a deep breath.]

[Well. He's ruined things, now. He really has. All he can do is.... try to summon up all the grace that he possibly can, and deal with this.]

Dedue... I apologize. I spoke out of line. I was not expecting Chip to do what they did, and so panicked. It was inappropriate of me, and I understand if you... do not want to be near me for very long.

[he asked if he LIKED men!!!]

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leaves you waiting for five days for two words orz--

that just makes it funny tbh

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