[ACTION]

[shiro2hero]

[There sure is a fire in the middle of camp.]

[Okay, yes, true. There should be fires. Everyone is camping, after all. Those fires are vital to the health and survival of everyone currently in Hisui! So of course there's a fire in the middle of camp.]

[Except...]

[This is not one of those kinds of fires.]

[This fire is in the cooking area. Where some poor, unsuspecting Guild member let Shiro step in to assist... with predictable results. He was just supposed to be making salad.]

[Just a salad.]

[And yet?]

[The salad is on fire.]




[Please help.]

Comments

[hasitsthorns]

Wow.

[ Did someone ask for help? Sorry, you get Rose instead. ]

And I thought I was bad at cooking. Yikes.

[shiro2hero]

Bucket - ! Get a bucket!

[Please? Please help a man out. While Shiro tries his best to slap the fire out with his right hand.]

[... it's still made of metal, so there's that at least.]

[hasitsthorns]

Bucket-? [ Oh. Huh, yeah, that would be a good idea. Wouldn't it? Good thing he thought of it! That metal hand doesn't seem to be doing a whole lot.

Rose hurries to get a bucket, scoop some water into it, and toss it onto the flames. It hisses loudly and smoke flares up. ]

Did that work?

[shiro2hero]

[Thankfully, it does work. The fire flickers, hisses, and dies. Shiro steps back, dragging his left hand, the actual human hand, down his face. Whatever he was making, it's reduced to nothing more than charred ashes.]

Yeah. Yeah, it did. Thank you.

[crystalmaster]

[Oh gosh.

Radley runs over, looking for something he can use to extinguish the bizarre blaze. Seeing some water, he grabs it to throw at the salad. If the water was meant for something else, he'll replace it.

Lily stares at the scene in disbelief.

"Vee?!"

Which basically translates to, "How do you light a salad on fire?!"]

[shiro2hero]

[Shiro's just. Slapping at the smoldering embers of vegetables with his right hand. It is, thankfully, the metal one, so no real harm done. But hey, the water's a better start than that.]

[crystalmaster]

... I think it's out now. How did that happen?!

[Radley doesn't know Shiro's reputation.]

Action

[ironchef]

HOW DID YOU EVEN DO THAT!?

[There's somehow the perfect balance of annoyance and amazement in Hunk's voice. He's also currently looking for any assisting pokemon that might have had a flame-type move.]

[Hunk tosses out a pokeball, and what just a week ago contained a Magikarp now contains a full blown Gyarados. Shiro, prepare for both you and your fire-salad to get squirted with a surprisingly gentle splort of water from a draconic aquatic monstrosity.]

[shiro2hero]

I don't know!

[But at least it's slightly... contained. First by Shiro hitting it with his right hand, and then by - ]

[By...]

[Shiro has to look up. And up. Because that is a really, really big dragon fish. He just kind of braces himself where he stands, for the incoming spray. This is fine. He asked for this.]

[ironchef]

[He gets hit with the force of a bucket of water, like the giant lizard provided exactly the amount of the water needed to put out a salad fire and maybe wet some colorful hair.]

[After having a pure water loogie splorted on him by Dragon Roll the Gyarados, Hunk just crosses his arms and frowns disappointedly in the magnitude of Shiro's food crimes.]

I really need to work on that prepared food.

[singlespacedad]

[Just... how?]

Ball! Go get it!

[Cue the heroic rolling and barking of a Spheal, bravely going forth to excitedly squirt water and ice all over the flaming salad.]

What happened?

[shiro2hero]

[It's weirdly fitting to get yourself saved by a spheal, if you're Shiro. He'll be infatuated with the little guy later. Right now, he's busy slapping at the flames with his right hand until Ball can accomplish saving the day.]

Cooking. I was... trying to cook.

[singlespacedad]

[With the flames safely extinguished, Mando crouches down to explain the charred remains. Ball rolls up beside him, pleased as a Spheal can be. He helped! He helped so good!]

Did you put too much starter fluid on the grill?

[Because obviously Shiro was grilling, right?]

[nastyboy]

[Some Pokemon might see fit in this moment to help. For example, a small team of Fire types who could feasibly help control the flame.]

[Dimitri's one Hisuian Typhlosion and two Hisuian Growlithe are notably not doing that.]

[Instead, the Growlithe are surrounding the flaming salad on two sides, barking up a delighted storm because WOW THEY DIDN'T KNOW HUMANS WERE FIRE TYPES TOO, while the Typhlosion just sleepily bows his head towards the fire. Actually, that bobbing head seems like it might be getting a little too close...?]

[The sound of baying hounds has drawn Dimitri's attention as he goes jogging across the camp.]

Cwncyrff! Gwylci! Cease - Shiro?

[Sir what are you doing here]

[shiro2hero]

No, no no no no -

[When Dimitri arrives, Shiro is desperately trying to carefully nudge the Typhlosion's head away from the fire, while smacking at the flames with his right hand. It's okay, that's the metal hand. It can't actually be hurt by the fire.]

[He's trying.]

[And then there's Dimitri and Shiro turns bright red. About as red as the fire.]

Pancake! Grab Pancake! [That uh. That would probably make more sense if Shiro mentioned Pancake was his Mantyke.]

[nastyboy]

Pancake-?

[That's... that's made with flour, right? Do they even have flour here? Do they have bread? Dimitri thinks they make dumplings, so, he's just gonna - Looking around, he grabs a bag of what feels like some sort of flour, and holds it out to Shiro with nothing less than pure confusion.]

[His Typhlosion just keeps trying to slip their head down further towards the flame.]

[hippocarnival]

[Fire?]

Whoa, fire! [Fire where he's pretty sure there's not supposed to be a fire! He just wanted a snack, but now he's scrambling to help put that out. He's looking around for a bucket before he remembers... he has a water pokemon.

So he picks up Oshawott by his waist and points him at the fire.] Jou, aqua jet!

[Aqua jet, go! If he hits Shiro as well, apologies.]

[shiro2hero]

[Shiro is in the process of slapping the fire with his hand. Thankfully, it's his metal hand, not the one that can actually be burned.]

[He's about to say yes, fire! except before the words come out, there's a jet of water. Shiro sputters and coughs, covering up his mouth and nose.]

[But hey! The fire goes out.]

[hippocarnival]

[That's the important thing! One aqua jet seems to be enough, and Yuya's arms lower with Oshawott as he stares at the smoky, damp results.]

... Sorry. [A pause.] What happened?

[questioneverything]

What did you do???

[Romelle's panicked voice could be heard over the commotion. Her now Sliggo popped up out of its shell and sprayed at the fire with a Water Pulse.]

[shiro2hero]

Salad! I tried to make vegetables!

[How did he set it on fire then??? We just don't know. Shiro happens to be in the way when the water pulse goes off - and... well.]

[He looks like a wet cat.]

[questioneverything]

Were you... cooking... the salad?

[What that something they did on Earth?]

[tempredmental]

[Keith just... watches. After a moment or two, he stands up, grabs a conveniently placed bucket of water from nearby, and dumps it on the fire.]

Really...? You burned a salad?

[shiro2hero]

Yes, Keith. I burned a salad. I'm aware.

[And he is so incredibly embarrassed.]

[tempredmental]

[He lowered his voice so just he and Shiro could hear.]

And here I thought the dry noodles in the microwave had been bad.

[Oh, yes. He hadn't told anyone, but he also hadn't forgotten. Thanks, Beheeyem.]