victory_road | video: guess whos back

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video: guess whos back

[The video flicks on to an image of John's smiling, buck-toothed face, right next to a sign for Goldenrod City. If possible, his hair looks like even more of a mess than it usually does. Obviously, this is a sign that he's been on the road for a while.]

Hey guys! I feel like it's been a while since I checked in, huh? Well, I just had a big training retreat to make all of my Pokémons gym ready, and now I'm back in town for a little bit before I head up to Ecruteak. Who wants to hang out? Or have a Pokémon battle? I bet my Pokémons could kick the butts of any other Pokémons out there.

Also, does anybody know if my room is still safe? I haven't been to the house in a while, and I want to make sure that Dave and Jane and them didn't booby trap it. Trusted sources only, please.

Oh! And one more thing.

[John pulls out a Pokéball and releases his Haunter, Gozer, who gleefully floats around him with her tongue lolling out of her mouth.]

Does anybody know how to make Haunter evolve? I remember that it was supposed to turn into a really cool ghost with spikes and legs, but I don't know how to make that happen. She hit level 100 and everything! Did I do something wrong?

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[Shit. She actually hadn't done anything. Now she has to go rig up something really quick. Hope you like spring-loaded pie tins full of whipped cream, John.]

I would be more than happy to battle your Pokemons with my Pokemons when you get home!
Dinah is especially itching to duke it out with some ghosts - but then again, she's usually always up for ghost fights.

[if only john knew that his own caution was what spelled his doom]

isn't dinah a normal type, though?
i have been studying a whole lot of type match ups recently in order to become the strongest and coolest trainer ever.
and i'm pretty sure i would have the upper hand in that fight!

She has a couple of special attacks than can hit a ghost!
Though I think they're not very effective against Gozer's typing. And besides, she's very keen on Ghost battles.
I think I might invest in a few TMs for her to help out a bit.

that's true, lots of pokemon learn moves that are not the same type as them.
and i guess things go both ways, since ghost attacks can not hit normal types either.
anyways in that case, we should definitely have a pokemon battle since it sounds like it will be a fair fight.
it can be one on one, ghost versus normal!!

It shall be our best battle yet!

Oh, and by the way, exactly how far from home are you at the moment? I'm just curious.

maybe fifteen minutes?
i'm not headed directly back, though.
.....why do you ask?

Just want to know how much time I have to pick up some things in the living room. I know you live here, but it's a bit cluttered at the moment. Admittedly, all this sitting around in the winter has me a touch stir-crazy.

[Nailed it.]

that's very thoughtful, jane, but you don't need to worry about cleaning things up!
we are all messy teenagers, and i understand that.
it would almost be weirder if everything was super clean when i got back.

Well it's not like I'm going to be bleaching the kitchen floors clean. I just want to make sure you're not tripping over random crud when you walk in, I promise that's all it is.

well, i don't really care about that either!
but i guess that the thought is appreciated.
it is not like i can use wind powers to catch myself when i trip anymore, after all.

Exactly.
We don't need anybody falling flat on their faces because of a misstep over an errant shoe or something.

or falling flat because of a sneaky tripwire that is hidden among all of the mess by a brilliant prankster-ess.
i mean, you know, hypothetically.

[Okay, John may be a liiiiiittle suspicious.]

Oh no, of course not!
Hypothetically. :B

[Boy who said she'd use a trip wire]

[Shhh, it's all hypothetical remember.]

yeah, duh, hypothetically.
also, you know that if anything is amiss in my room, like maybe because of a brilliant prankster-ess, i will not hesitate to retaliate with all of the pranking prowess i can muster.
like, hypothetically.

My, my!
Well, hypothetically, a pransteress would have to combat a prankster's grand attempts with ones much grander for the sake of her gambit.
Do you think, in pure hypothetical considerations, that such a prankster would be prepared to put his cards on the table like that?

well, it is pretty hard to know what a hypothetical prankster would do.
i mean, since this is a hypothetical person we are speaking of and not an actual real person.
but i would be willing to bet that the prankster's grand attempts are even grander than the prankster-ess's, so things will go in his favor, and maybe she should not test him.

Oh, maybe.
But maybe the prankster should hypothetically keep in mind that counting his chickens before they hatch is a poor way of conducting his hypothetical pranks.

[HI THERE JOHN it only feels right to reply with text]

Can't say anything about your room, but Haunter's one that evolves with trading if I remember correctly! :)
There are a few of those and it seems common among Ghost types.

[colored text is the text of cool kids]

aw, man!
that definitely explains why she is still a haunter, i guess.
but it sucks that for her to evolve i have to trade her away after i spent all that time training her!
how is that fair?

you don't have to do it permanently!
I found out it was a thing to begin with through a temporary trade after all >_>
you could just trade her for a day to someone you trust to send her back, like a pokeplaydate.

wait, you can do that?
then what is the point in trading them away in the first place?
why is that something that makes pokemon evolve? it doesn't make sense!

but thank you for letting me know. i know plenty of trustworthy people!
(where not stealing pokemon is concerned, i mean. i am about 95% sure they pranked my room.)

yeah I am pretty 100% positive your room is the biggest lost cause in the world but at least they won't steal your things ;p

honestly I have no idea why it makes them evolve though maybe it's like....they have to experience a new owner even if it's just temporary? maybe it sparks something in their dna?? like how some react to stones?
i'm just talking out of my ass really

maybe i can trick somebody into going ahead of me to take the brunt of whatever horrible traps are there.

that makes about as much sense as anything else at least.
i guess i should not really question why pokemon are the way that pokemon are.
things are just weird and inexplicable here!

oh no that'd be so mean!!!
....but probably effective so who can really argue with results.

tell me about it, you know? that's how I approach it now. I wanted to learn EVERYTHING back when I first got here but it just makes my head hurt thinking about what we know and don't.

[ there's one thing prompto must know now ]

we can buy houses here???

uhhh i think so?
i was not actually involved in getting the house. that was all on my buddy dave!
but i think we're renting it?
either way, you can definitely get a place to live, if you want to.
a lot of people just wander, though.

that's still so cool! i mean me and noct are gonna wanna explore for a while but it might be nice to settle down somewhere someday!

wandering is nice but what's nicer is laying back and relaxing. but we gotta scout out places and find cool pokemon as well! (ง'̀-'́)ง and get some good pics on the way, of course!

yeah!
if nothing else its just nice to have a place to come back to.
or if you're like my friend, a place to hide from the snow.
i don't stay there all the time, but i like having a room i can dump stuff in if i don't want to carry it.

home is where you dump everything and frame all your pics when your cameras and bags are full ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
and it'd be good to let these pokemon out of their balls somewhere which isn't swarming with other ones
hiding from the snow is a good idea though? i've never gone camping, esp. in such bad conditions?

but me and my travel partner are strong enough to carry our shit, no matter what ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ
[ ...Actually Prompto has been cursing how much the two of them are carrying quite a bit tyvm. ]

its good to be strong! mangrit is a super important quality to have.
and its one thing to be sheltered from the snow but its another to never want to touch snow at all.
he has ISSUES with snow for reasons i am not going to go into.
but i guess that's not that important. the main thing is that it is nice to have a house to crash in for all sorts of reasons.

and uh, sounds like you like taking pictures, huh?

how dare you pass this slander around about me
ive never done anything so uncouth as boobytrap a bros room in my LIFE
you wound me dudeah maccabee

[He types, reordering everything in John's drawers as he goes in some timeline which means he does not spring Jane's pie trap.]

dave.
what did you do to my room?
i know it's SOMETHING.

[John would feel bad for blindly accusing his best bro like this, but he's mostly suspicious because he'd have done the exact same thing, given the chance. Who allowed these two to be housemates.]

so trust
very suspicion
wow
its like you dont even believe in the purity of my bro dokis for you

dave, i believe very strongly in your bro dokis.
i also believe very strongly that your bro dokis would lead you to SOMEHOW in SOME WAY prank my room.

what
let me say that again for the people in the back
WHAT
i may as a matter of principle studiously not understand anything rose has ever said about anything but i think if she were here she might gently put down her knitting
stroke her imaginary wizard freud beard
and ask you
john
in her most obnoxious fake psychoanalyzing voice
john thats very interesting and we should talk about how that makes you feel
but do you think
given the jokey bullshit at your gooey nerd center
that you might be projecting your inveterate prankishness onto your good and loyal friend dave? hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

I haven't touched your room

[She really hasn't. But then again, she's not the type to go around messing with other people's rooms.]

so I uh don't know if anyone else has.
Welcome back though?

don't worry, rakka, i would not have suspected you.
i know that you are a good and kind person who would never take advantage of somebody's absence to try and pull one over on them.
unlike CERTAIN friends who will not be named.

[Nevermind the fact that John already named them in his original video.]

anyways thank you for the welcome back!

Hehe. yup, that's me. :)

[Because they all know that Rakka is the Sweden of the house.]

It's nice seeing everyone come back, now that things are starting to melt and everything.
How was it? where did you go?

Edited 2017-02-26 07:23 (UTC)

i just traveled around to all of the places i haven't been because of dave teleporting me when i first got here.
so i spent a lot of time in azalea town and the forest nearby.
oh! i also got a badge from the gym there, so i'm even closer to being a pokemon master than before.
i finally picked up the badge from goldenrod, too.
halfway done!

Oh!! You got both of those? Congratulations, John.
I hope Bugsy wasn't too hard for you.
or um, whitney

they were not hard at all!
i mean, it probably helps that all of my pokemons are really strong and basially the best ever.
...also kind of over-levelled.

[Somebody waited a while before putting effort into getting his gym badges.]

I know that feeling. all of the gym battles I'e had so far haven't... really been that hard.

[Probably because most of her battling party are pushing 100 right now.]

and my last one ended... different anyway

I'D TAKE YOUR LIST AS REASON TO CULTIVATE A PREDILECTION FOR PUERILE PRANKSTER SHENANIGANS BUT FUCK THAT I AM A BUSY MAN.
AND I'D REASSURE YOU THAT YOUR ROOM IS SAFE BUT I HAVE A FEELING I AM NOT A "TRUSTED SOURCE" IN WHATEVER BUFFOONERY YOU AND YOUR ECTO-ANCESTOR CARE TO INFLICT UPON EACH OTHER. AND DAVE, WHENEVER HE GOT INVOLVED IN THIS.
WHY IS THIS A THING FOR YOU PEOPLE, ANYWAY? DON'T YOU HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO.

[... by which he means "welcome back" and "I totally didn't see anyone doing anything to your room haha wow I am not getting involved." Seriously, what is wrong with everyone?]

yeah, sorry karkat!
i might believe you to report on jane's devious plans but if you are dating dave then he probably has sneaky ways of keeping you from talking.

anyways, it is a thing because it is fun!
don't trolls play pranks?
actually, i know for a fact that trolls play pranks! why is this confusing for you?

HE DOESN'T ACTUALLY BUT I WOULDN'T FEEL LIKE TELLING ON HIM ANYWAY. OR JANE. YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW.
AND YES WE DO BUT THAT DOESN'T MAKE THEM ANY LESS STUPID.

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video: guess whos back

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text SORRY THIS IS SO LATE

NO I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU