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[tearsofademon]

[On this mild first afternoon of November, the feed opens to a porch, where a Clefairy, who can usually be seen wearing a rose ear clip but today is wearing a whole bouquet of roses arranged in a flower crown, is seated on a table, eating dango to her heart's content.

There are multiple empty boxes next to her, and more on the other side that haven't been touched. Where does she put it all, the world may never know. She'll probably be here a while, though.

From behind the camera, though, Ryner starts talking.]

...You know, since it's been seven years today and all, I should probably have some kind of inspirational speech prepared about how far we've come or something. But I dunno, I'm not really any good at that stuff. So I don't really have one, sorry.

I guess what I will say, though, is, ahh... I don't regret it, being here. And if a even a useless guy like me can do enough to make Rose happy, and the others...

[The Clefairy, finishing her latest stick of dango, blinks at the camera before sweetly giving it the most adorable smile she can muster.]

Even if it all changes tomorrow, if I can do this much right now... Maybe that's enough. You know?

...Ahh, sorry, I'm probably not making much sense, huh. I'm way behind on sleep... But I guess what I'm saying is, I don't know what tomorrow will bring, and if you told me I could choose where I'd be tomorrow, I don't know what I'd decide...

...But I'm glad I'm here today.

Comments

[tearsofademon]

That's what happens when you rope in people who care about you.

[dreamsofahero]

I didn't ask them to.

[tearsofademon]

Somehow, I've found that the people who'll care will do so whether you like it or not.

And I mean, you seem to have this tendency to attract halfway decent people. Mostly.

[dreamsofahero]

And who ought to be smart enough to know when there's nothing that can be done.

[tearsofademon]

About some things, sure.

But there are other things. Even if all anyone can do is stand by your side so you aren't alone... That's better than nothing.

[dreamsofahero]

*leans back in the chair, turning his head to look straight at Ryner... for the most part his expression's carefully unreadable, but there might be juuuust a hint of pain in his eyes, maybe*

... And just what do you think would happen to anyone too near me, Ryner, should I ever lose my way?

[tearsofademon]

[...and here goes tact out the window.]

...Okay, look, I know it's different. In a lot of ways that I can only barely even start to understand. I get that much.

But how dangerous things could get has never stopped you from reaching out to me.

[dreamsofahero]

*grimaces a little*

The risk never concerned me, and was arguably necessary.

*or maybe that's just excuses*

And there was no risk at all as long as you remained calm, you know.

[tearsofademon]

That can be impossible, when everything is going to hell right in front of you and there's nothing you can do. Or when assholes have crystals and force things to happen despite everything.

[...did he mention that in that report? ...Ah well, not that big a deal if he did or not.]

Point is, you knew there was a risk, and you stuck with me anyway.

[dreamsofahero]

.....

*... just looks away again. evidently he doesn't feel particularly reassured by that*

[tearsofademon]

So yeah. If you want to call me an idiot, go ahead. I've been called worse. But if you were willing to put up with the danger inside me, there's no reason why I shouldn't do the same.

[dreamsofahero]

Which would do what, Ryner? What difference would it make?

*he's still not looking at Ryner, but there's a bit of an edge in his voice*

[tearsofademon]

It means you're not alone. Does it have to be more than that?

[dreamsofahero]

...

How should I know?

[tearsofademon]

...All I know... All I know is, no matter how much I tried to push people away, if I'd been alone... If no one had been there... I wouldn't be here now.

[If Milk had died at the orphanage. If Sion had died in that battle. If Ferris hadn't been there back then. If he hadn't had people to give him a reason to cling so desperately to his sanity that time.]

So maybe I'm wrong. But I think isolation is probably the worst thing you can do to yourself.

[dreamsofahero]

.....

*but what if that's largely been all he's known?*

[tearsofademon]

[a part of him considers asking 'besides, do you want to be alone?'

but he's. not sure how he'd handle the answer being yes.]

And if I just sat back the way I always have and let you do that... I couldn't forgive myself.

[dreamsofahero]

... I don't want you to end up hurt because of me, Ryner.

*"I don't want to hurt anymore" remains unsaid, though*

[tearsofademon]

[If he wasn't more aware than usual how much he's screwing this whole thing up, he'd probably shrug and point out that he's survived this long. But he is, so he won't.]

Well I mean, I'm trying to pay better attention these days. Hopefully I'd be able to notice something was wrong before it got to that point.

[dreamsofahero]

And then what? Would you leave if it did?

[tearsofademon]

If it came to that, I'd decide what to do then, depending on how things were.

[It differs greatly if it's just the two of them or if there are others, after all.]

But I have no intention of abandoning you.

[dreamsofahero]

*glances up briefly, looking like he's about to say something... and then stops himself, looking away again*

[tearsofademon]

[He notes that, but doesn't pursue.]

...Sorry. I don't really have a better answer than that.

[dreamsofahero]

*it's unfortunately not much of a comfort to Sion, exactly. He's afraid; for himself, yes, but also at the thought of potentially harming his friends. He'd rather die before that. But it's... complicated and he doesn't even know where to begin explaining (assuming he's even inclined to try) so what could he possibly say?*

......

I'd rather be alone at the end than take you down with me, Ryner.

*spoken quietly*

[tearsofademon]

...It's not any comfort, but I've already decided who's going to be the one to kill me, and you're not that person.

[while he's failing at this all over the place and knows it, might as well be blunt about this point too]