[03] [Texts w/ Chloe at 4 AM] [Image heavy!!]

[hellablue]

yo
im looking up memes right
and this fucking loser keeps popping up
who is he
and why tf does he think a ninetales is gonna do shit to water
idk pokemon and i know thats stupid as fuck
somebody needs to tell him


also i found more memes look
look


lmao

relatable am i right


shes gettin screwed


fuck i'm done
im going to bed
i fucking love pokemon world internet
its just like real internet
everything is the same but with pokemon
its fucking wild

Comments

[hellablue]

[He straight up could've not admitted that and she wouldn't have even known. But the fact that he does admit to it is oddly chill, so she can forgive it.]

You're not wrong on that one.

[She's a hella sleepy girl, which is relatable. Chloe watches with a vaguely amused expression as he revives her. Munchies seems glad his new friend is awake and he scoops her up into a lorg hug. Don't mind him, he's not used to being able to hug people like this.

He's just full of love and affection okay? Let him be.

Chloe lets out an exasperated sigh and looks back to Ford.]

So, do you smoke or is it just like a funny joke to you?

[meteorman]

[Dank Weed wheezes as Munchies hugs her, but it's happy wheezing. She is just too chill to not enjoy a good hug. Her long neck stretches up and over the shoulders Munchies barely has. She can be down for this. She respects a man who is so dedicated to snacks.

Satisfied that she's just fine, Ford turns back to Chloe.]

Oh, a little of column A and a little of column B. If I had named her myself my gut instinct would have been Sargassum, which is essentially just the same name but in modern Latin and without the delightful double meaning. [Nevermind that if this was the videogame, that name wouldn't be allowed on account of it contains the word 'ass'. Luckily this universe doesn't have word filters. Can you imagine?]

But I was in college through the sixties and seventies, and I don't know how those decades went in your native universe but in mine you couldn't walk ten feet without tripping over some form of illicit substance. My roommate could make a bong out of just about anything if you gave him enough time.

[hellablue]

If it makes you feel better, you can't really walk ten feet without tripping over weed where I'm from, either.

[That's almost not an exaggeration, honestly. But her "crowd" tends to lean towards smoking a lot, so it's easy to feel that way. But she definitely has found she has an easier time getting the shit here than she did before.

Chloe reaches into her jacket pocket and produces a blunt.]

Here, lemme smoke you up. I figure it's the least I can do considering the gigantic ass kicking I just handed you.

[She kids, she kids. She holds out the blunt, because proper stoner etiquette demands he take the first hit.]

i mean i guess cw drug use but like who didn't expect this honestly

[meteorman]

Oh, I'm not talking about just weed.

[He takes the blunt. Persim zest, he assumes, because that seems to be the equivalent here -- and so much less regulated! This world is on the whole gentler, and their range of crimes is very different. Maybe they just don't have the time or motivation to regulate berry usage. It works in his favor, at least.]

I've tried acid, quaaludes -- do kids your age even know what quaaludes are? -- mushrooms --

[He pauses to actually take a hit of the dang blunt before he gets so carried away making a Comprehensive List that he forgets. It is very clear from what way he does it that he's done it many times before. With his free hand he keeps ticking off drugs.]

-- Cosmic sand, those little tablets from Dimension R5// that make you hear colors --

if u didnt see it coming ur wrong

[hellablue]

[Chloe stands there with her arms folded, waiting for him to take the blunt. She vaguely listens as he lists off all the drugs he does, some of which she's heard of and others she hasn't. What the fuck is a quaalude?

During his spiel, Munchies finishes up his hug with Dank Weed and waddles over fatly.]

Snor?

Wha- oh. Right. Food.

[She reaches into her pocket and pulls out her wallet.] Here, go inside and order something. Dank Weed, will you like.. help him? Thanks.

[Chloe turns her attention back to Ford as he prattles on.]

Holy shit, you're a camper. Pass it on! [She yoinks the blunt from him and takes a long drag.] That sounds dope though. What's a quaalude? Is that an earth thing?

[meteorman]

[Haha. Sounds dope. He gets it.]

On Earth 46'\ at least, yes.

[Dank Weed follows Munchies inside. She might manage to rein him in a little, but the much more likely scenario is that she is the supportive friend who encourages him to order two of everything on the menu with no regrets. So... RIP Chloe's wallet.]

Quaaludes are a sedative. They lower your blood pressure and slow your breathing, and work great as a muscle relaxant. They were originally marketed for insomnia but you know how drugs are so rarely used for what they're marketed for.

[He sure didn't take them to sleep. Sleeping is the exact opposite of what Ford Pines usually does, and between college and when he fell into the portal was the peak of his not sleeping.]

[hellablue]

[Since he camped on the blunt like he did, she'll just take another big puff of it while he explains quaaludes. She passes it back while still holding in her zest smoke and lets it all out in a cloud of smoke.

What she doesn't know is that inside, Dank Weed and Munchies are absolutely ordering two of everything. Or at least trying. He's being friendly, okay? He's also buying her food. Because she battled real good and she deserves it. Look, Dank Weed. They also sell POFFINS. They need an order of poffins.]

That's true. I mean, what, wasn't meth legal for a while too? We see how that went down.

[Shit the zest is hitting her Just Right.

She pauses for a moment, before she gives him a pointed look.]

Do you ever just. Think about the fact Dank Weed and Munchies just had a battle? Fuck.