victory_road | audio || optional action

--ome in! Anyone!

[Yikes, man, tone down the yelling. The voice is frantic. Rightfully so, considering the last thing he remembered was being ejected into space. This is not the planet he thought he'd wind up on. There are humans here, and it looks like Earth.]

[But there's weird animals here. And no one seems concerned about a yelling, very upset man who just appeared out of nowhere.]

I don't know what's happened! I -- I need pickup, immediately!

[Yeah, he maybe only half listened to the explanations, but seriously, things were bad a minute ago.]

Pidge! Coran! [And then, almost grudgingly:] Lance -- someone pick up! This is Shiro and something's gone wrong! I don't know where I am -- I don't know what's happened, but I need someone to answer me now!

[Give him a few minutes to calm down. To pace and refocus himself. To listen and read up on the situation. Anyone who happens by the area sometime after the basically panicked broadcast can find him in New Bark Town. Under a tree, just...]

[What is he supposed to do now?]

[There's an Aron huddled up by his leg, but he doesn't seem to pay it much attention, right now.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

The name of one of my team, who could be in danger right now. And no, it has nothing to do with any of the animals here.

[He'd be sorry for the tone, but -- nah. Where the team is concerned, there is no apologies.]

[Dad Mode: Unlocked.]

I can handle pinecones with eyes.

I mean, I'm just saying, that's not really a name. Unless we're talking an alien race. I don't fuck with alien names. They get weird.

Are you sure you can handle pinecones with eyes? Rock pterodactyls? Giant metal balls with attitude? Ghosts? Cuz there are ghosts. Literally, ghosts! Nobody told me about ghosts until I got my ass haunted. Forewarned is forearmed or...whatever.

My name isn't exactly common either. But no one's questioned it.

I didn't say all of that. Just the pinecones with eyes.

Yeah, but at least it sounds like a name, dude. Like some kinda Asian...like Japanese anime or whatever.

...Okay, that's fair. I can't handle the pinecones, maybe you can't handle the ghosts or the rock monsters. I mean sure you get used to this bullshit after a while, but man, I still see shit that surprises me and makes me go what the actual fuck.

I hope your yelling hasn't startled your companion animal creature buddy. I feel like sometimes they're kind of sensitive when they just start out? Mine wasn't, mine was an asshole from the start, but...

I'm guessing if I say one of the others is "Hunk" you have a problem with that, too.

[And Hunk is the Golden Child. For many, many reasons. Not including being the Yellow One.]

Rock monsters... got it. After rock-people, that's less odd than you think.

No it seems fine. It's. Decided it likes my arm. A lot. [It's chewing on it, in fact. At least one of them likes the damn thing.]

Okay, no, that has got to be a nickname, because that's not a name! Hunk is a word, it's a descriptor. Is Hunk hunky?

Well, fair, after the aliens I've fought, there's things that I wouldn't bat my eye at if I ran into them. Sentient metal balls are weird, though. I say, having a sentient metal ball. Plants, we have all kinds of sentient plants. Swords! Shit, okay, no, the sentient floating swords are both badass and weird.

...So why your arm? That seems kind of random. Got some nice cologne on or, like, it likes buff arms maybe? Are you buff?

It's his name. I'm not going to ask him what his parents' reasoning was.

Aliens? You too? [Forget sentient metal balls, this seems way more pertinent to the current situation.] I... know some people at home who'd really like the sentient sword angle.

[In response to the question, he just. Flicks on the video feed. And lifts said metal arm, with said Aron attached, into view. With the most "I am so done" expression in the history of "I Am So Done" expressions.]

You tell me.

[Mostly this face, Shiro. He is the opposite of done.] ......Okay. So there's a lot to digest here.

First off, holy fucking shit you're ripped. I live and work around super special space marines, but damn son. Those guns. Are impressive.

Second off, is that thing trying to eat your arm?! I--there's nothing okay about that??

Third off holy shit is that a metal arm.

Fourth off yeah. Aliens. Yeah. They sucked. Went to war, it sucked, finally ended the war, that also sucked, I don't really know all the details despite being a soldier in it, which tells you right there a fuckton about how informative our military liked to be. [Also comes from being the remnant of a sooper seekrit military project, Church, but okay.]

[Oh my god this is an adult Lance. This is what his future is going to be, if he ever gets back.]

... Thank you? And, no. It's just... licking it. No teeth involved. [The biggest, most resigned sigh.] Yeah, yeah it is some kind of metal. No, don't ask.

[Please.]

At least your military acknowledged aliens existing. It could be worse.

...I don't know if licking is worse or not. Less painful, but a lot creepier. I mean...metal must taste like...metal. [Good job, Church.] I mean I guess these critters have their quirks and get nutrients from all kindsa weird shit, so eh, who am I to really judge. My metal ball recharges by being near my electric sheep. [DO ANDROIDS DREAM HA HA]

Dude, man, going to war with aliens means we kinda can't keep aliens under wraps. Did yours seriously try to cover it up MIB style?

It's not as bad as chewing. I'll take it, for now. [Okay, maybe he shouldn't ask, but--] Electric sheep?

[He shouldn't ask about that, and he doesn't know what to say to this. Instead of trying to make things up, he just, shakes his head, and goes with the honest answer.]

I don't know. I wasn't there. That's what I assume, at least.

Electric sheep. Woolite, c'mere! [Dutifully, a Mareep in all her fluffiness nudges into screen, Church leaning his cheek against her fluff.] She shoots sparks and lightning and static electricity. Literal electric sheep. No, I do not count electric sheep to sleep.

Mmmmman, if we'd tried to keep aliens under wraps, I don't know if that would've ended with Earth destroyed and humanity extinct or if we had never gone to war at all. It's over now, though. For whatever that's worth.

[... That's adorable. That's way too adorable to be possible. It's so small and fluffy. If Hunk were here, he'd probably have seven.] She's adorable.

[He is stunned.]

Yours is over, ours... I think it's just started.

[She gives the cutest lil REEEEEEP noise of approval ever. What a good fluff.]

...You just started an alien war?

It... I didn't start it.

[At least, he doesn't think so.]

We just sort of got thrown into it.

Oh, yeah, those are the worst. Here's a gun, go to this backwater planet in the middle of nowhere, and if you see these clearly alien guys, shoot 'em. Best plan in the galaxy there.

Yeah... it's. Something like that all right.

[Except with more giant mecha lions.]

Add some yelling kids and you're... yeah, that's about right.

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