victory_road | 1st Recipe [New Bark Town, Video/Action]

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1st Recipe [New Bark Town, Video/Action]

[Video]

[There are a lot of things you don't expect when you're Jane Crocker. You don't expect the entire world to shift scenes in the blink of an eye, floating in the ruins of a golden moon one second and waking up in what looks to be a normal, sunny bedroom the next. You don't expect some woman whom you've never seen before in your entire life to come in, claim to be your mother, shove a backpack into your arms and kick you out of the house with vague directions to a - a laboratory? And you certainly don't expect to be given what you're darn tootin' sure is a Pokeball once you get there, and as soon as you go, are again booted out towards the only dirt road outta town: Route 29.

So forgive her if she spent the last night in town, pounding on the door of her "mother"'s house and demanding to be let back in and given an explanation. When her video comes on this morning, it shows a very tired, bespectacled teenage girl with prominent buck teeth looking about 110% done with everything around her.]

...Okay, it's on. I think. [She squints, as if looking for something on the Pokegear to in fact indicate it is on, before continuing.] Um...hello? I'm basically going on a hunch that this...weird thing can be used as a communicator of sorts. Almost like FaceTime on a smartphone, right? I-I really hope so, or else I'm making calls into the goshdarned aether. [She sighs, shaking her head.] Anyway. If someone out there knows exactly how someone can wake up in what should very well be a video game that isn't supposed to suck you into a virtual reality, and if there's a way for me to leave, I'd greatly appreciate it. I...was sort of in the middle of something. [A look of hesitance crosses her face, as if...she may be asking to go back, but she sure as fuck doesn't want to at the moment.] I'll be in this...New Bark Town place for a little longer, if you need to know where I am.

- Oh, and, one more thing? [The video blurs as it shifts to a very pink creature that's quietly munching on some trail mix by Jane's side.] Not that she isn't cute, but, um...is this really a Pokemon?

[Action]

[True to her word, Jane lingers in town for the day. The pink Pokemon - Audino, her Pokedex has explained - seems happy to sit nearby and play with the hood on her unusual attire. This seems to be proving endearing enough to get Jane to smile despite herself, but given how warily she looks at the natives, it seems she'd do well with some sort of human conversation that doesn't tend to repeat itself.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[

oh

oh fuck no

Karkat isn't entirely irrational. Really, he isn't. ~~Stop laughing.~~ He knows the chances that this, uh, whatever the fuck her name was is likely not still being mind-controlled because why the hell would she be when Jade hadn't been on her arrival and this. Random. Ex-evil girl? Whatever-her-name-is is neither glaring at her PokéGear nor speaking in that awful, deliberate way that probably means that someone, probably him, is going to wind up with a chest full of culling fork, but even so.

... Okay, maybe he's being a little irrational.

Either way, there's no chance in hell he's responding via anything other than text.]

YOU THERE. JADE'S ANCESTOR.
YOU ARE JADE'S ANCESTOR, RIGHT? OR HOWEVER THE FUCK HUMAN BIOLOGY WORKS, THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT
PLEASE TELL ME SOMEONE'S ALREADY GIVEN YOU THE RUNDOWN, I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THAT SHIT.
AND UH
HELLO. I'M KARKAT. DO YOU REMEMBER MEETING ME OR
WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR LAST MEMORY ANYWAY?

Edited (i would do the multi comment thing but i'm awful at it and also judging how much white space to inflict upon people) 2016-07-20 08:25 (UTC)

[Okay. Um. A text response. Cool! Great. Very familiar territory. But why is this person talking to her...like they might know something about her? She's never exactly had the chance to make the weird and confusing relations situation public to any sort of group, after all. They're also talking about timeline things, and they're using colored text with...a very aggressive quirk? Guess these things have a caps lock function after all.]

If Jade is Jake's Grandma, then according to what's been explained to me in the past? Yes, I am probably related to her in some preceding fashion.
And yes again, I've been getting the basic explanation that no, I can't leave, and I'm in another gosh darned video game, but this one has a dear, sweet pink thing as a predetermined friend for me. Ergo, a marked improvement from my previous situation.
But I would have remembered meeting someone called Karkat, so no, I'm sorry to say I don't know you - or, well, now I do, I guess?
The last thing I remember is going God Tier and floating in what used to be Prospit's moon. Does that mean anything to you?

And is this going to be a common question amongst people who I know, or who know me? Jimmeny crickets, next time I'll preface a post with that information.

Edited 2016-07-20 12:36 (UTC)

RIGHT, JAKE'S GRANDMA. WHATEVER.

[He's pretty sure Dirk had said the same thing at some point, even if Evil Jade had also said... ugh, forget it. Human family structures are confusing enough without throwing bullshit Sburb time shenanigans into the mix.]

OK SO YOU JUST WENT GOD TIER. GREAT! ANOTHER ONE OF YOU HAIRLESS PINK MONKEYS IS GALLIVANTING AROUND WITH POWERS US LOWLY MORTALS KNOW NOT, I CAN BARELY CONTAIN MY EXCITEMENT.
YES I KNOW WHAT BOTH GOD TIER AND PROSPIT ARE, IF THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE ASKING. MY SESSION WAS SEPARATE FROM YOURS BUT WE WERE DUE TO MEET UP WITH YOU
AT LEAST FROM YOUR PERSPECTIVE. IT ALREADY HAPPENED FROM MINE.

[... because if she'd just gone god tier, she has to be from before that. Meeting. Unless she's from after and just doesn't remember what happened? Fucking mind control.]

WAIT AM I THE FIRST PERSON TO ASK?

Oh.
Well.
I thought we were only meeting up with our estranged teenage guardians, but I suppose if they're bringing friends along, that's even better!
Our planets are incredibly desolate and lonely, and Roxy's chess people aren't really the best conversationalists.
It definitely did not happen yet from my perspective, but I'll be looking forward to it! :B

[Jane if you had any idea what your words might mean to this boy then you would've taken them back.]

And you certainly don't sound very enthused about God Tiers. Sorry about that. If it helps, I don't think mine is going to be all that spectacular anyway.
And no, you're not. John has already asked me.
But I'm getting a feeling that this will be a trend.

[... GOD THAT CHOICE OF WORDS. Ffffffffffffffuuuuuck, okay, no, maybe she's from the timeline where she didn't stick a goddamn culling fork in him, wouldn't that be so nice for everyone hahahaHAHAHAHA moving on.]

IN OUR GROUP? YES. I MEAN FROM PEOPLE FROM OUR
GROUP OF UNIVERSES? LOOK THIS PLACE IS FUCKING COMPLICATED, JUST ASSUME THEY'RE ALL ONE ITERATION OF REALITY EVEN THOUGH THEY'RE DISTINCT FROM ONE ANOTHER
ANYWAY YEAH I GUESS YOU'LL BE HEARING IT A LOT.
YOUR "ESTRANGED TEENAGE GUARDIANS" WERE SET TO BRING ALONG A MINIMUM OF FOUR TROLLS AND I THINK THREE SPRITES
ALONG WITH SOME INDETERMINATE NUMBER OF CARAPACIANS, CONSORTS, AND SO ON, WHO FUCKING CARES.
I'M ONE OF THE TROLLS, IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING. THE ONLY ONE HERE, SO ENJOY THE NOVELTY WHILE IT LASTS.

[SHE'S JUST TRYING TO BE POLITE and hey she wasn't expecting more people but it's not like she's going to tell everyone to fuck right off, that's not nice, it's been lonely on LOCAH with three humans and a murderclown okay]

For the sake of simplicity, I will.

Oh. Um. You're...a troll.
Grey skin, horns, the whole deal?
Uh...
Look, I don't want to assume anything that might be...wrong, or stupid, because I've done a lot of that in the past. It hasn't turned out well for me at all and I have been making attempts not to assume things, but...
Ugh, I'm so sorry I have to ask, but you're not...going to sell me any dubious potions of possibly cryptic origin, are you?
Because I already had enough of that back home and that was only from ONE troll, and I never want to see a little glass bottle with multicolored liquids in it ever, EVER again.

[Oh, no.]

[OH NO]

NO. WHY WOULD
**FUCK NO**. THE LAST THING I WANT TO DO IS BECOME IN ANY WAY INVOLVED IN THE DISTRIBUTION OF
FUCK, LET'S JUST CALL THEM POTIONS. SURE, WHY NOT! IT'S NOT LIKE THOSE WERE MY FRIENDS OR ANYTHING, HAHAHA! MULTICOLORED LIQUIDS OF DUBIOUS ORIGIN, YES! EXACTLY! WAY TO PUMMEL THE CAP ON THAT WOOD AFFIXING SPIKE, WE'RE ALL VERY IMPRESSED OVER HERE
LOOK CAN YOU JUST NEVER MENTION THAT HAPPENING AGAIN. OR ANYTHING TO DO WITH THAT
THE PERSON. WHO SOLD THEM TO YOU.
I MEAN UNLESS I'M WRONG ABOUT WHO THE FUCK IT WAS BUT LET'S BE REAL HERE THERE'S ONLY ONE CODPIECE-WEARING SHITSACK AROUND TO HAVE UNFETTERED ACCESS TO

LOOK CAN WE JUST PLEASE TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE.

[Oh. Oh, uh. Wow. That's a. That's a lot of information right there. Jane reads the message a couple of times, a slow mixture of horror and embarrassment settling in. I mean, sure, the "potions" had smelled funny and she'd wanted nothing to do with any of them regardless of what they actually were, but when Karkat said they were his friends', did that mean...they belonged to his friends, or were part of his friends, or

...

Yeah no not going to think any deeper about that part. But what she does think about is how badly he reacted, to the point of wanting to shift the conversation entirely. That's bad, that's...she has to assume he associates with her teen Poppop and possibly Dirk and definitely Jake's teen Grandma, from how he introduced herself. And if Dirk was coming to get her, then the chances of her meeting this guy in passing somehow are definitely higher than they were before, it's just common sense.

Fuck. She just. She doesn't want to fuck up on friendship. Part of her wants an explanation but most of her does not want to continue fucking up on friendship.

Without her noticing, Jane's Audino has leaned over to send Karkat a message of her own:]

jdnshwjrklgirenwge rjfuerndfnmekenehfrufks jeje n erjrh

[SNAPPING BACK TO ATTENTION NOW oh goddamn it you little shit]

Oh gosh! Sorry, my...Audino, I think it's spelt? She must've noticed I wasn't typing back and decided to type for me.
Yes, we can definitely talk about something else! Nothing would make me happier!! Really!!!

So, um, what...kind of Pokemon do you have?

[Fuckin' nailed it.]

[Absolutely fucking nailed it. Pokémon are always a safe topic, except when they aren't. Fortunately for everyone, now is not one of those times.]

AN AUDINO? HUH I HADN'T HEARD OF THAT ONE BEFORE NOW. WHAT TYPE IS IT?
AND UH
FUCK WHO EVEN HAS TIME TO KEEP TRACK OF THIS SHIT. TOO MANY, LET'S PUT IT THAT WAY.
MY STARTER WAS A WHISMUR, THOUGH. HER NAME IS MEROPE.

[Yes, normal conversation, normal Pokétalk, he is THE MASTER. Sort of. Close enough.]

SHE'S EVOLVED TWICE SINCE THEN. NOW SHE'S
HANG ON LET ME SEND YOU A PICTURE.

[Is he really going to yep, Karkat is absolutely going to go full on Proud ~~Lusus~~ ~~Dad~~ Lusus(?????) and send a picture of dear sweet precious Meropeta. Unlike in the linked image, she is wearing a white domino mask and clutching one of her... weird... tail... noise spout things in front of her like she's trying to hide behind it. She is the shyest shout monster, it's her.]

DON'T ASK ABOUT THE MASK.

[Translation: Feel free to ask about the mask.]

[Nice.

Hold on, this message is coming with a picture, just for you.]

This is an Audino.
The Pokedex said she's a normal type. She doesn't have a nickname yet. Do people give their Pokemon nicknames often?

I've never heard of a Whismur either, but that's certainly an interesting evolution!
She's a shy one, I'm guessing.
And, well, if I shouldn't ask about the mask, why not just tell me about it? It's cute!

I THINK THEY DO? I MEAN IT WOULD BE SORT OF WEIRD NOT TO. LIKE IF PEOPLE JUST WENT AROUND CALLING EACH OTHER "TROLL" OR "HUMAN" INSTEAD OF AN ACTUAL NAME.

SHE'S GOTTEN BETTER BUT YES MEROPE IS SHY. THAT'S PART OF THE REASON WHY SHE HAS THE MASK ACTUALLY.
WHEN I FIRST GOT HER SHE WOULD BARELY SHOW HER FACE AT ALL. IT WAS REALLY FUCKING OBNOXIOUS

[Read as, "adorable as hell."]

BUT MY FRIEND DAVE, AKA THE STRIDER OTHER THAN DIRK, GAVE HER THAT MASK AND SAID WEARING IT WOULD MAKE HER BRAVER. SHE BELIEVED HIM.
HERE'S WHAT SHE LOOKED LIKE BACK THEN, IF YOU WERE WONDERING.

[Annnd another picture, again featuring the domino mask. This one was likely taken without Merope's knowledge; she's not looking at the camera and seems far less self-conscious.]

Eugh. When you put it that way, it IS incredibly weird.
I'm going to have to think of one for mine.

Aw! That's so sweet!
I'm glad it's able to help Merope. Maybe she thinks of it as...I don't know, a special secret identity when she has the mask on?
Like she doesn't have to be as afraid if part of her face is hidden.
Though I am surprised that something that small and cute evolves into something with...quite a jaw on her.
There is way too much about Pokemon that I am definitely out of the loop on.

[... Huh. Maybe she's not completely awful after all—at least over text. He's reserving judgment on the rest until he actually meets her in person again. Maybe.]

THAT'S THE STUPIDEST FUCKING THING I'VE EVER HEARD BUT SURE, WHY NOT! I HAVEN'T REALLY BOTHERED COMING UP WITH ANY THEORIES, SO IT'S AS GOOD AS ANY OTHER.
I'M NOT SURE WHAT THE LOGIC IS BEHIND ANY EVOLUTION THESE POKÉMON GO THROUGH. AT LEAST SOME OF THE BUG TYPES FOLLOW THE RIGHT SEQUENCE? BUT THEN YOU HAVE SHIT LIKE EEVEE AND NONE OF IT MAKES SENSE ANYMORE.
YOU'LL CATCH UP. THERE'S NOT REALLY A RUSH ANYWAY.

[The text is definitely a little easier to talk through, yeah - considering this guy's a little...abrasive-sounding? The capslock doesn't help. But, since she's got time to think about what she writes, she can...keep from making him mad, at least? To her, he seems mad. Or irritated.]

I suppose it's not like you can just ask her why, either.
The whole limited vocabulary thing kind of necessitates body language, gestures, vocal tone...and there's only so far THAT can go.

...Don't tell me there's more than three for Eevee. I knew it had three, but...

GET A PSYCHIC POKÉMON. THEY CAN INTERPRET FOR YOU.
I MEAN ASSUMING THEY'RE NOT A FURRY LITTLE ASSHOLE. I HAVE ONE OF THOSE AND HE'S UNBEARABLE.

[S l i g h t hesitation, then he sends a picture of a Meowstic. Said furry little asshole is snoozing away in that adorably intrusive way only cats can..]

THAT'S SHARRU. CASE IN POINT.
AND YEAH, TRY EIGHT.

Oh wow...
He's really beautiful! I'll have to keep my eye out for one like that.
Or, well, any Psychic-type. I do hope they're not too elusive.
I've never thought of getting to talk to a Pokemon, but it must be interesting to hear things from their point of view.

HE'S EVOLVED FROM AN ESPURR, SO KEEP A LOOKOUT FOR THOSE

[Helpful picture, again of Sharru. Karkat is totally not attached at all, what are you talking about.]

AND I DON'T THINK THEY ARE? BUT PEOPLE SELL EGGS SOMETIMES ON THE NETWORK, SO YOU CAN PROBABLY JUST BUY ONE.
I GUESS IT'S INTERESTING? YOU GET KIND OF USED TO IT. SO MUCH OTHER WEIRD SHIT HAPPENS AROUND HERE THAT YOU SORT OF FORGET ABOUT IT, HONESTLY.

[...O...h...]

I...will definitely keep my eyes peeled for them!

[Yeah to avoid because GOOD GOD THAT STARE]

Ah, wait a second, hold on. People sell eggs...and Pokemon come out of them?
Any kind?
They just pop out of eggs?

YES. ALL OF THEM HATCH FROM EGGS.
EVEN GHOST TYPES HATCH FROM EGGS. DON'T ASK ME HOW THE FUCK THAT'S SUPPOSED TO MAKE SENSE.

[Hold on, she's. Letting this sink in for a bit. The response is a bit delayed.]

...
O...kay.
Suuuuure.
How much do these eggs usually sell for?

[Because she's trying to be more accepting but THAT is something she needs to see with her own eyes pronto.]

A COUPLE HUNDRED POKÉDOLLARS? IT VARIES. PEOPLE OFFER EGGS FOR FREE SOMETIMES, TOO, ESPECIALLY TO NEWCOMERS.

Oh wow!
That is incredibly generous, but I'd feel bad if I just took an egg like that.
I assume people usually know what they're paying for before they buy, though?
Folks don't just sell mysterious eggs and then laugh when their customers are upset that they hatched into something they weren't expecting, do they?

UP TO YOU, BUT PEOPLE MIGHT REFUSE PAYMENT ANYWAY? IT REALLY ISN'T A BIG DEAL HERE, FOR SOME REASON. PROBABLY BECAUSE EGGS AREN'T THAT DIFFICULT TO COME BY. WHO FUCKING KNOWS.
YES YOU ALWAYS KNOW WHAT YOU'RE PAYING FOR. NO NEED TO WORRY ABOUT THAT.

Are eggs really that common?
I mean, I'm going to assume that...they are...they APPEAR in the usual egg-appearing ways - which I do not want to imagine in the slightest - but that actually, um. Happens a lot?
To the point where there's a surplus that the egg-owners are more than happy to let others take them off their hands??

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[Text] it's okay inflict all the multi-comments and white space on me it's gr8

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