victory_road | 44th treasure [audio]

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44th treasure [audio]

[For a minute, only the usual noises of a large city at night can be heard. It's only after two Meowth start arguing some distance away that someone finaly speaks.

Ash hesitated a long time, before starting this feed.]

...If I have to celebrate one more birthday in this world, I think I'm going to scream. Does anyone have any terrible birthday stories to share, or do I have to start telling my own?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[.........]

Fucking hell.
My condolences for your own loss, I guess.
Your friend now wins the 'Worst Birthday Ever, Recurring' award. There's no prize, though.

the prize is unending trauma and dead friends and family
the gift that just keeps on giving

There are plenty of ways to gain trauma and dead loved ones that are not nearly so painful.
If whoever or whatever is responsible for all that ever shows up here, they're dead.

would it be unsporting of me to remind you that death is sort of obviously not in play in these here parts

Point. Guess that means settling for 'in unspeakable agony for the rest of their unending life'.

thats kind of a long term commitment for some anonymous dickhead you dont even know dude

I come from a crew with standards, morals, imagination and a tendency for stupidly long term commitments. This is all within normal mission parameters.

Besides, you said yourself that part of it occurred on a thirteenth birthday. Whoever or whatever would do that to a kid deserves it.

[Dave doesn't answer for a while.]

what is even with me and my falling bass ackwards onto the waiting heartstrings of random soldier types
i swear i didnt mean to bring you down on your birthday dude i just
well you asked

Don't worry about it. I'm now successfully distracted from all my birthday woes.
And possibly wondering about the possible applications of Crobat venom on child-exploding assholes and supervillains.
Possibly.

im pretty sure that bag of dicks is already dead
the one who tricked us into blowing up in the sun i mean
unless youre thinking of attacking a sun the size of two universes which i would hella not recommend
i also wouldnt recommend attacking a normal sized sun probably but i have less experience getting up close and personal with those so thats more of a general caution

I can deal with armies of thousands of mobile suits, self-repairing intelligent robots with hundreds of years of battle experience hiding in asteroid fields, and the Commander-in-Chief of the Earth Federal Forces at his angriest and most xenophobic.
A sun, either normal or the size of two universes, is probably beyond my abilities.
That's disappointing.

how are you with dogs

I'm good with the sort of dogs that can breathe fire or bite a Psychic-type unconscious. Regular dogs, I have no clue. Why?

cause the other two times i died were because of dogs
one armed hatedogs that can fly and teleport and use swords
would that suit you better than trying to fight the sun

How big are they, and how quickly can they teleport?
Because I'm a decent mobile suit pilot, but smaller targets that are faster than me could conceivably be annoying to hit.

theyre about human size i guess and can teleport with roughly the speed of thought so maybe like
just let it go
i wasnt really being serious anyway and you shouldnt either

Hey, they sound like they need to be stepped on a little, if you ask me.
Though I guess doing so is beyond me, even at my best.

yeah theyre bad bad dogs
the worst
dont let it get to you though none of us could do anything about them either
at least not these versions of us
so whatever

Maybe the llama god could do it.
Llama versus dogs: the match of the century.

haha
yeah
maybe

[Well, Dave sure did a good job depressing the fuck out of himself today. At least the image of the llama taking on both Jacks is sort of funny.]

sorry again
i swear im not always an untrammeled leaky sack of woe

Everyone's allowed to be an untrammeled leaky sack of woe once in a while.
Unless you're working at a theme park, but that's what off-hours are for.
It's less damaging than the traditional Bisidian celebration/mourning/depression activity, anyway.

the what

[That's one hell of an opener for a subject change.]

The traditional Bisidian celebration/mourning/depression activity.
Namely, getting really drunk.
Being a sack of woe might feel temporarily unpleasant, but at least it doesn't destroy your liver.

oh
yeah
ill pass
thats not a taste im interested in cultivating really

A most wise decision.
I've seen what happens when colleagues cultivate it a little too much, and it's not pretty.
AND it might just make the woe worse, if you're unlucky.

44th treasure [audio]

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[Private Text] WOW WELL I SURE DID NOT MEAN TO TEXT COLOR whoops

[Private Text] I kinda figured that was accidental. Though bright and cheery!

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