victory_road | [03] [Texts w/ Chloe at 4 AM] [Image heavy!!]

Dodge--

[But Alice is coughing, and he just can't get out of the way in time on his tiny little feet. The Dragon Claw sends him flying. He stops himself with his own psychic power and lifts himself back to his feet. There's a very unpretty scuff mark on his cheek and boy is he mad.

He's so mad he could just cry.]

Fake Tears, Alice!

[He's going to be down to one soon and he doesn't know what's coming. At this rate he knows he has to work on making sure this Charizard goes down fast. Alice can take another hit, he thinks -- he's not sure -- but if Alice can't then at least Firewalk will be in a shit position for the next stage of things.

Alice's eyes get very, very big and very, very shiny. The frills on his head and all his little bows droop. God, isn't he just pathetic? Don't you want to lower your defenses?]

Nice!!

[Chloe is so stoked that she's managing to kick this guy's ass- not that she's surprised, but you never know who you might end up battling, honestly.

The smoke fades pretty quickly and Firewalk turns Alice's way in time to see the other start to cry.

He isn't the sympathetic type, but even he has a hard time ignoring tears like that.]

Hey, hey, hey! None of that, go get his ass!

[He snaps out of it and starts to lunge at Alice- only to be hit by something in the back.

He and Chloe both hadn't even thought the future sight thing was something to worry about. They were wrong. Firewalk freezes and winces before doubling over. Whatever that was had hurt bad.]

The fuck? Hey- you okay? C'mon, Flamethrower!

[He tries. Boy does he try. He manages a step, before just outright collapsing with a pitiful little roar.

That's when Chloe realizes this battle might not go in her favor. Munchies isn't her strongest battler, all things considered. Or rather, she doesn't ever put much faith in him.]

Munchies, get out there.

[It's his time to shine- he flops out of his ball onto his belly and somehow manages to bounce upright in one motion. Chloe gives him a look, quietly resigning herself to defeat.]

[Yeah, Alice isn't impressed either. He lets out a little chuckle, a raspy gothi-hi-hi, as the little ball of fat flops out onto the parking lot asphalt. Alright. This is in the bag. He rubs one his hands against the smudge on his cheek, wiping some of it away, and shakes himself out.

Ford is a little more reserved in his assumptions about how this is going to go. He's never fought a Munchlax before and frankly he doesn't know what to expect. This is her last Pokémon. It might be worth it to plan ahead a little. Not a Future Sight -- the same trick won't work twice, and she'll be on guard against it now. It's better to hobble that little blob right out the gate.]

Alright. Home stretch. Use Play Nice!

[Alice nods and extends his hands out toward Munchies. Sparkles and little hearts pour forth, bopping him square on his round head.]

[Chloe can practically feel Ford's confidence growing from across the field and it irritates her. God, why did her last option have to be Munchies? He's not bad, he's just never been a particularly good either. Kinda powerful, but easily distracted.

When he gets hit by those sparkles and hearts, she's pretty sure it's game over.

His goofy ass laughs a little and falls backwards onto his bottom, patting his head. That felt Weird and definitely sapped some of his strength.]

Get it together, dude! Hey- look at me!

[His attention snaps to her, even though they're in a battle and he ought to be paying attention.]

If you win this, I'll buy you food.

[It honestly takes a moment for him to comprehend that, as if he's never heard her utter words like that before. His mouth falls open, and then his eyes glisten with tears.]

M-Munch?

[FOR REAL??

He hops quickly to his feet, giving Chloe ones last look before he turns back to the battle. He's gotta do this.]

Tackle, go! You got it!

[With renewed enthusiasm, Munchies starts running towards Alice. And then-

All of a sudden, white light engulfs him and he grows. And he keeps growing.

With each footstep he gets bigger until the white light breaks away and a full-fledged Snorlax is lumbering towards Alice.

Tackle ends up turning into Body Slam as Munchies takes a dive at Alice.]

Edited 2018-01-19 08:50 (UTC)

[Alice has only a few moments to contemplate his fate before he is squashed flat. And that's... yeah. Even with his lowered attack, Munchies is more than strong enough to wreck Alice's shit. Ford can't help but wince.]

Oof.

[What else can you say?

Alright. Okay. He can't actually call back his dang Pokémon until Munchies stops being on top of him, so that's a thing.]

That certainly is one way to encourage a Pokémon to evolve.

[Oof is very right.

Even Chloe hasn't fully recovered from what just happened. The last thing she had ever expected was for him to evolve in this battle. Hell, she'd.. given up on him evolving at all, ever, considering friendship is the requirement and... considering she never hugged him when he wanted, or gave him treats when he wanted. But the goober always did come back to her like it was no big deal.

Kind of like a loyal dog, honestly.

But right now? Chloe couldn't be more proud of him.]

Woo! YEAH! Holy shit, you're a fucking beast now!

[Munchies is soaking it up like a sponge, putting a hand on his hip and posing where he lays, honestly forgetting that he's laying on top of someone.

He seems to remember all of a sudden though, because he jumps to his feet and turns around looking concerned, pressing a hand to his mouth as he looks down at Alice in concern.

A second later, he reaches down and gives Alice a yoink, trying to get him to stand up.]

Snor-? [You okay friemb??]

Thiiii...

[Alice's eyes are distinctly unfocused and his sense of balance is... not. He is pretty much out cold. Ford sighs and calls him back before he flops over again. Nice try, Munchies.

It's fine. Ford's still got one last Pokémon, and while he's got less experience working with her he's confident she's got a chance.]

Alright. Dank Weed, I need you to be serious about this.

[His Dragalge oozes out of her ball like she's half-asleep. Mm. Great start there. Her head and neck droop and her eyes are nearly as unfocused as Alice's were. And this is her at full health. This is just how Dank Weed is. But Ford knows she can fight, he's seen it. Her overly-relaxed demeanor is deceiving.]

Aqua Tail!

[Dank Weed rears back, raises her fins -- and sneezes.

Mmmm boi.]

[Chloe doesn't comprehend the nickname fully in the heat of the moment. She's about to win this battle, she's entirely too focus on that. But if she weren't, she would be giving him props for it- and also being astounded that someone as old as he would name it something like that.

But that's for later.

Chloe throws her head back and laughs when Dank Weed sneezes. This is what she needed, she definitely feels like she has the upper hand again.]

I think somebody could use a nap. [Snorlax's ears perk up as if thinking it might be his naptime.] Use yawn!

[Oh. That's what she meant.

Munchies lets out a rumbly laugh as Dank Weed recovers from her sneeze, clearly starting to underestimate his opponent the same way Chloe is. Or maybe he's just confident he's going to get that food.

Either way, he opens his mouth real big, and gives off the most contagious yawn you ever did see.]

[GOD DAMMIT DANK WEED. Ford starts re-evaluating his strategy. If he has to deal with a Dank Weed that is actually asleep instead of just functionally asleep he's going to lose it.

Dank Weed, meanwhile, opens her little snooter mouth. Boy, that yawn is contagious, huh? She yawns real big and wide, so wide -- and gargles up a Sludge Bomb. It's not the Aqua Tail Ford asked her to use but you know what, it's something, and he'll take it. The bubble of gunk flies through the air and directly at Munchies. The one problem with his new form is that he's a bigger target.]

Now, don't --

[Too late. She snzz.]

[The attack is enough to make him stumble back, but he really only looks mildy inconvenienced as he presses a hand to the sludge splattered across his tummy. He pulls his hand back and the ooze stretches with him.

Gross.

He tries to flick it off, but it's just too gunky and gross. He's gonna need a good ol' bath after this. The goo is starting to feel a lil uncomfortable, but he shrugs it off. The battle is almost over, he knows it.

Munchies stands a little taller when he notices she falls asleep, and Snorlax is practically salivating. He can taste the pancakes now.]

You're doing great, man! Let's finish it. First... belly drum!

[He still has enough HP that belly drum can cut him down and he won't be too in danger. With a few deep pounds to his belly, his attack skyrockets all the way up and he stands big and tol.]

Now... one more body slam. Go get her!

[He doesn't feel too much a sense of urgency given that Dank Weed is asleep, so he waddles over to her and just... collapses.

Whomp.]

Wake up! Use Sludge Bomb again!

[Dank Weed does not wake up. Her fins twitch in her sleep and that's about as much initiative as she shows in terms of getting out of the way of that Body Slam. It's over. Yo know how you can tell? The gentle beep boops of the music that seems to play whenever Ford fights anyone has faded away and been replaced by the usual ambient music of Goldenrod.

Well god damn it. He had a point to prove and he super failed to prove it, but he's not going to be a pouty asshole about it. He is trying to be a better person who doesn't get bitter and grudgy about things.]

Well. I have to say, I'm impressed.

[Holy shit.

Ford, you gotta give her a moment. She's gotta just go celebrate with Munchies for a second. Never in her life did she think Munchies would be the one to pull off a victory in an important battle. Against wild pokemon? Sure. Real trainers? Rarely.

But for once she's actually genuinely proud of him. Her perception of him has also totally changed, now he's... a threat.

Good..

Munchies looks absolutely over the moon and celebrates by picking Chloe up and giving her a giant squeeze.

Because for once she can't push him away!!!]

Whoooa, holy shit! Alright big fella, lemme down. Yeah, thanks. Wow. Look at you, you really came through. I'm gonna get you a shit load of food in a minute, just you wait.

[She turns to Ford, finally, as Munchies begins to inspect Dank Weed. Is she okay? He gives her a poke.

Chloe makes her way over to Ford, hands in her pockets the whole way, til she stops in front of him.]

Old man.

[She hesitates for a long moment, before taking a hand out of her pocket and lifting it up for a fistbump.]

I think it's super cool you've got a Pokemon named Dank Weed and that was a hella good battle. We cool?

[Dank Weed lets out a very unpretty snorfling snore. She's fine -- being knocked out while already asleep means now she's just kind of doubly asleep. She can chill here for the time being.

Ford, meanwhile, regards Chloe. Calling him a loser notwithstanding, that was actually fun. He looks down at her hand and, miraculously, parses the gesture correctly. Mabel spent a good week teaching him to fistbump so he knows this, even if it's not something he'd ever initiate on his own.

So. Six-fingered fistbump. A full finger chiller than normal!]

Yes, I'd say we are 'cool'.

In the spirit of transparency, I have to admit to you that she was named when I traded for her.

[He reaches into his coat and pulls out a revive, stepping past Chloe to tend to his injured dragon daughter. He gently sets the revive on her tongue and waits for it to wake her up.]

But it fits her far better than anything I could ever have come up with.

[Dank Weed jerks upright, coughs twice, and then flops her snout over Ford's shoulder. She's been laid out flat before but only, y'know, metaphorically. Whuf.]

[He straight up could've not admitted that and she wouldn't have even known. But the fact that he does admit to it is oddly chill, so she can forgive it.]

You're not wrong on that one.

[She's a hella sleepy girl, which is relatable. Chloe watches with a vaguely amused expression as he revives her. Munchies seems glad his new friend is awake and he scoops her up into a lorg hug. Don't mind him, he's not used to being able to hug people like this.

He's just full of love and affection okay? Let him be.

Chloe lets out an exasperated sigh and looks back to Ford.]

So, do you smoke or is it just like a funny joke to you?

[Dank Weed wheezes as Munchies hugs her, but it's happy wheezing. She is just too chill to not enjoy a good hug. Her long neck stretches up and over the shoulders Munchies barely has. She can be down for this. She respects a man who is so dedicated to snacks.

Satisfied that she's just fine, Ford turns back to Chloe.]

Oh, a little of column A and a little of column B. If I had named her myself my gut instinct would have been Sargassum, which is essentially just the same name but in modern Latin and without the delightful double meaning. [Nevermind that if this was the videogame, that name wouldn't be allowed on account of it contains the word 'ass'. Luckily this universe doesn't have word filters. Can you imagine?]

But I was in college through the sixties and seventies, and I don't know how those decades went in your native universe but in mine you couldn't walk ten feet without tripping over some form of illicit substance. My roommate could make a bong out of just about anything if you gave him enough time.

If it makes you feel better, you can't really walk ten feet without tripping over weed where I'm from, either.

[That's almost not an exaggeration, honestly. But her "crowd" tends to lean towards smoking a lot, so it's easy to feel that way. But she definitely has found she has an easier time getting the shit here than she did before.

Chloe reaches into her jacket pocket and produces a blunt.]

Here, lemme smoke you up. I figure it's the least I can do considering the gigantic ass kicking I just handed you.

[She kids, she kids. She holds out the blunt, because proper stoner etiquette demands he take the first hit.]

Oh, I'm not talking about just weed.

[He takes the blunt. Persim zest, he assumes, because that seems to be the equivalent here -- and so much less regulated! This world is on the whole gentler, and their range of crimes is very different. Maybe they just don't have the time or motivation to regulate berry usage. It works in his favor, at least.]

I've tried acid, quaaludes -- do kids your age even know what quaaludes are? -- mushrooms --

[He pauses to actually take a hit of the dang blunt before he gets so carried away making a Comprehensive List that he forgets. It is very clear from what way he does it that he's done it many times before. With his free hand he keeps ticking off drugs.]

-- Cosmic sand, those little tablets from Dimension R5// that make you hear colors --

[Chloe stands there with her arms folded, waiting for him to take the blunt. She vaguely listens as he lists off all the drugs he does, some of which she's heard of and others she hasn't. What the fuck is a quaalude?

During his spiel, Munchies finishes up his hug with Dank Weed and waddles over fatly.]

Snor?

Wha- oh. Right. Food.

[She reaches into her pocket and pulls out her wallet.] Here, go inside and order something. Dank Weed, will you like.. help him? Thanks.

[Chloe turns her attention back to Ford as he prattles on.]

Holy shit, you're a camper. Pass it on! [She yoinks the blunt from him and takes a long drag.] That sounds dope though. What's a quaalude? Is that an earth thing?

[Haha. Sounds dope. He gets it.]

On Earth 46'\ at least, yes.

[Dank Weed follows Munchies inside. She might manage to rein him in a little, but the much more likely scenario is that she is the supportive friend who encourages him to order two of everything on the menu with no regrets. So... RIP Chloe's wallet.]

Quaaludes are a sedative. They lower your blood pressure and slow your breathing, and work great as a muscle relaxant. They were originally marketed for insomnia but you know how drugs are so rarely used for what they're marketed for.

[He sure didn't take them to sleep. Sleeping is the exact opposite of what Ford Pines usually does, and between college and when he fell into the portal was the peak of his not sleeping.]

[Since he camped on the blunt like he did, she'll just take another big puff of it while he explains quaaludes. She passes it back while still holding in her zest smoke and lets it all out in a cloud of smoke.

What she doesn't know is that inside, Dank Weed and Munchies are absolutely ordering two of everything. Or at least trying. He's being friendly, okay? He's also buying her food. Because she battled real good and she deserves it. Look, Dank Weed. They also sell POFFINS. They need an order of poffins.]

That's true. I mean, what, wasn't meth legal for a while too? We see how that went down.

[Shit the zest is hitting her Just Right.

She pauses for a moment, before she gives him a pointed look.]

Do you ever just. Think about the fact Dank Weed and Munchies just had a battle? Fuck.

[03] [Texts w/ Chloe at 4 AM] [Image heavy!!]

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i mean i guess cw drug use but like who didn't expect this honestly

if u didnt see it coming ur wrong

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