video;

[sassymaru]

[The video opens to a young man with very, very green eyes. He bows slightly, with a little flourish to one hand.]

Greetings to all! It would seem I've awoken to a predicament. You see... someone has seen fit to hand me a small, slimy creature.

Something hardly befitting of a mysterious ninja such as myself.

[He says this as he's standing in plain sight, arms folded, and ... well. Wearing bright purple. Because that's subtle. He gestures to the adorable Froakie sitting at his feet.]

Who is it fielding complaints in this location? I would have a serious conversation with them, if possible.

Ah, though I suppose, it would also be wise to see if there is anyone who recognizes my name among those watching this feed. I am Brave Police Independent Stealth Unit, Shadowmaru~!

[... yeah there's a flourish at the end of that last word there.]

Comments

video;

[notvaljean]

That's a Froakie. He's your starter.

What's a ninja?

[Asking the important questions here.]

video;

[sassymaru]

My starter, you say? Starter of what?

Ah -- have you truly never heard? That is a shame! Your education is incomplete.

A ninja is a master of the art of stealth, moving about their business unseen, undetected. When it comes to moving through the shadows, there are none superior!

video;

[notvaljean]

Your starter Pokemon. This is a world of weird little animals like that, and you train them and battle them and then they evolve into something different.

[Jean bristles a little at being told his education is incomplete--he knows it is, but doesn't like being called out on it--but fortunately the talk of these ninjas catches his attention.]

Are they like a kind of soldier?

video;

[sassymaru]

I see. Are they all as... slimy... as this one seems to be? If we are to be partnered with animals, I fail to see why I was not assigned a wolf.

[Because your other form is a DOG, Shadowmaru and you know it.]

They can be. Myself, I was part of the police force.

video;

[notvaljean]

No, they come in all types. Maybe a Houndour? Those look sort of like wolves.

Oh! The police force! [Jean perks up at that.] What kind?

vidya

[in4apounding]

Salutations, Mister Shadowmaru! My name is Penny. Complaints about what, exactly? ...The Pokemon?

[She thinks for a second.]

I suppose you could try talking to Professor Elm? No one's really in charge of the starters, they just kind of. Appear when you do.

[She's quiet for another second.]

Oh! Should I have called you- that full title thing? Brave Stealth Unit? Is that actually part of your name?

[sassymaru]

The human in the house? No, she referred to herself as my mother -- though, such a thing is impossible!

[Hahaha he's a robot with two dads.]

No explanation, we simply appear with strange creatures?

[He waggles a finger.]

My name is Shadowmaru. Independent Stealth Unit is my function.

[in4apounding]

No, Professor Elm is- ...well, a professor. A scientist. He has a lab in New Bark Town, I think? Mom is just... she's a very sweet, confused woman.

[sassymaru]

She must truly be the most confused human on the planet, if she mistakes me for her family.

[in4apounding]

She does that for everyone. It's honestly VERY worrying, but she seems to take care of herself fine otherwise. ...I don't know where she gets all the backpacks and lunches, though.

[Hashtag JustPokeworldThings]

...Were you not human? Before you got here.

Video

[sleepallthewayhome]

[Unit gets her attention.]

Are you an android?

[With a really fancy name?]

Video

[sassymaru]

[Well hello small child!]

Ahh, no no. Not in the least. It would have made life simpler, perhaps, but no.

I am a member of the Brave Police -- robots, given Super AI, in order to best protect humanity.

Video

[sleepallthewayhome]

Oh.

[A bit disappointed. Though to be fair, that's her entire frame of reference for robots.]

What's a ...super A.I?

Video

[sassymaru]

My apologies, have I disappointed you?

[So formal...]

An advanced form of artificial intelligence -- AI with emotion, so they say.

Video

[sleepallthewayhome]

What...oh. No it's just that everything is so strange here. I thought maybe you were something I knew more about. Even a little.

[Kinda yes, kinda no.]

My friend Bishop is an android.

So you get happy and sad?

Video

[bent_the_world]

Oh boy, get ready to learn a whole lot of stuff really quickly.

You might wanna sit down.

Video

[sassymaru]

Oh? You have my attention, miss...?

Video

[bent_the_world]

Korra. I'm Korra.

And I've been here for a while. I'm not from here, either. Everybody you're gonna talk to on this network is like you and me. We come from somewhere else and we don't know how we got here.

Okay, you're in New Bark Town right now. It's the same place I woke up here. It's where pretty much all of us wake up here.

Video

[sassymaru]

A pleasure to meet you, Miss Korra. Thank you for your assistance.

All of the people here are from other worlds? How so?

[How did he get here.]

Video

[bent_the_world]

No problem.

Well, we're not really sure? Everybody wakes up the same way, with a starter Pokemon, and a bag full of helpful stuff. We all come from all kinds of different worlds and times and everything. But like I said, that's just people you'll find here on this computer network. There's tons of people who were born here and live here and have just gotten used to us random weirdos from other dimensions.

Still with me?

Video

[foolishwren]

_{[... That flourish. God.]}

So... is the bright purple getup like, part of your stealth suit or what?

Video

[sassymaru]

[Lucky you, Heather, you get another flourish.]

It worked surprisingly well in my world.

Of course, none of us had the luxury of choosing the colors of our plating.

Video

[foolishwren]

_{[She is already wondering how many times she can get him to do that in a single conversation.]}

Was your world a Lisa Frank stickerbook?

Video

[sassymaru]

[A lot, but the Lisa Frank comment sort of throws him off his groove.]

A... what? Who is this Miss Frank?

Video

[foolishwren]

_{[Already laughing at her own joke, she waves it off with one hand.]}

Nothing, nothing. Bad joke.

Anyway, your best bet is to complain to the sky, because there's not really anything you can do about being here.