» uno

[spacebaloney]

[While most people are still asleep, Lance is on the grind. Like, literally. He's standing in the bathroom of the Attack on Voltron house, clad in the Starmiebucks' uniform with the nice circular logo of a Starmie in the center of the apron, flashing a dazzlingly white smile at the camera even if it's just after dawn and most people are still asleep and the poor souls who are awake aren't even thinking about popping fingerguns at the network like he's actually doing right now, oh my god. His hair is laid and his face is moisturized to perfection, sunscreen and high quality lip balm and all. Someone's gotta make the Latias Lattes and it's gonna be him. Lance might as well look good while doing so.]

Hello, world! I'm Lance and this is my announcement that today, the best leg of Voltron, the right blue one, is gainfully employed at your local Starmiebucks. [He cups his ear, feigning deafness because he's also dramatic as well as being a moron.] Wait? What's that? What's Voltron? Oh, just a gigantic robot that's currently saving the entire universe back at home, one Galra at a time.

[Christ, who was idiot who hired this braggart fool? Fire them and him.]

Anyway, this week, we're running a half-priced special on your favorite Pokéccino and with every one purchased by a pretty face, you get a chance to win a date with me, Lance the Blue Pala-

[Enjoy that sudden high pitched shrill scream that can probably be heard for miles as the 'gear clatters to the floor and the sound of Lance scrambling along the floor is heard following it. All the camera catches is one blue tentacle slowly retreating back behind the shower curtain, leaving droplets of water in its wake.]

Comments

[rediscover]

Ohhhh.

[She can't...relate. She's trying to visualize it but this is not her learning style at all, she needs a diagram or something.

Anna arches an eyebrow at him.]

I think that's probably an unwritten rule, y'know?

Um. [She pauses, hesitates.] Her name is Elsa. She works at the Goldenrod one, or she did while we were staying there.

[spacebaloney]

[Honestly, she's better off asking Hunk for a proper explanation with diagrams. Lance is just good at the laser sound effects.]

Then they can't ping me for something that doesn't really exist. That's way unfair.

[Luckily Elsa is not doomed to association with Lance. His store is on one of the islands, far away from Goldenrod. Good for Elsa. She won't have to suffer through this obnoxious moron.]

Oh, I'm on the Sevii Islands. So not the same store. Just wanted to see if I'd be her coworker or something.

[rediscover]

Don't you think that would count as. You know.

[don't make her say it.]

...Sexual harassment?

[She nearly deflates in relief.]

Oh, bummer! Guess you guys will never work together!

[spacebaloney]

Doesn't that count only if you're their boss?

[At least that's what Lance has assumed, but he is just seventeen so, does he get a break on not knowing the workplace customs in and out? Maybe. Maybe not.

Still worthy of getting hit upside the head by his boss.]

Yeah, but maybe I'll see her around. Elsa, you said her name was, right? What's yours?

[rediscover]

Uhhh...no, I don't think that's how it works. I think it's...you know. Anyone.

[Why does she feel like that was a mistake.]

Yup! That's her! And I'm Anna.

[spacebaloney]

Really? Where is this written down?

[He actually sounds like he's taking her seriously. Was he wrong all this time? But Lance is a teenager and he has a wandering eye attached to raging hormones. Can he actually control himself in the workplace?

No, but it was nice to think about for a second.]

Oh, okay. Elsa and Anna. Got it.

[rediscover]

Like, in the rules of being a decent person! Geez!

[THIS ISN'T THAT HARD just don't be a dick????]

Right. And you're...Lance? Right?

[spacebaloney]

Who says I'm not decent? Just because I find ways to ask someone out doesn't mean I'm not decent.

[Being a dick is all he knows. Well, on the outside, that is. But Lance has a good heart and means well. He's just awful at setting his ego and need to attention aside.]

Yup. Lance, always at your service.

[Fingerguns. Pew Pew.]