ʟᴀɴᴄᴇ ᴍᴄᴄʟᴀɪɴ (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
spacebaloney) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
victory_road2018-07-01 11:46 am
spacebaloney) wrote in victory_road2018-07-01 11:46 am
» uno
[While most people are still asleep, Lance is on the grind. Like, literally. He's standing in the bathroom of the Attack on Voltron house, clad in the Starmiebucks' uniform with the nice circular logo of a Starmie in the center of the apron, flashing a dazzlingly white smile at the camera even if it's just after dawn and most people are still asleep and the poor souls who are awake aren't even thinking about popping fingerguns at the network like he's actually doing right now, oh my god. His hair is laid and his face is moisturized to perfection, sunscreen and high quality lip balm and all. Someone's gotta make the Latias Lattes and it's gonna be him. Lance might as well look good while doing so.]
Hello, world! I'm Lance and this is my announcement that today, the best leg of Voltron, the right blue one, is gainfully employed at your local Starmiebucks. [He cups his ear, feigning deafness because he's also dramatic as well as being a moron.] Wait? What's that? What's Voltron? Oh, just a gigantic robot that's currently saving the entire universe back at home, one Galra at a time.
[Christ, who was idiot who hired this braggart fool? Fire them and him.]
Anyway, this week, we're running a half-priced special on your favorite Pokéccino and with every one purchased by a pretty face, you get a chance to win a date with me, Lance the Blue Pala-
[Enjoy that sudden high pitched shrill scream that can probably be heard for miles as the 'gear clatters to the floor and the sound of Lance scrambling along the floor is heard following it. All the camera catches is one blue tentacle slowly retreating back behind the shower curtain, leaving droplets of water in its wake.]
Hello, world! I'm Lance and this is my announcement that today, the best leg of Voltron, the right blue one, is gainfully employed at your local Starmiebucks. [He cups his ear, feigning deafness because he's also dramatic as well as being a moron.] Wait? What's that? What's Voltron? Oh, just a gigantic robot that's currently saving the entire universe back at home, one Galra at a time.
[Christ, who was idiot who hired this braggart fool? Fire them and him.]
Anyway, this week, we're running a half-priced special on your favorite Pokéccino and with every one purchased by a pretty face, you get a chance to win a date with me, Lance the Blue Pala-
[Enjoy that sudden high pitched shrill scream that can probably be heard for miles as the 'gear clatters to the floor and the sound of Lance scrambling along the floor is heard following it. All the camera catches is one blue tentacle slowly retreating back behind the shower curtain, leaving droplets of water in its wake.]
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[It's this moment where Lance glances over at Matt and realizes how much he and Pidge look alike. Aside from the same general coloring, there's that particularly sharp grin of theirs that looks both excited and terrifying because anything can be behind it. He never seemed to notice it before, but to be honest, he hasn't had much time to be around Matt until maybe tonight.]
Keith's terrible. Actively terrible. Burn your eyes out bad.
[Yeah, he's gonna shittalk Keith here. What's he gonna do about it? Nothing, actually, because he still isn't giving Lance the time of day.]
Hey! I didn't say anything about doing laundry! I'm not touching other people's gross socks!
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Yeah, you're probably right about the mug.
[Before he can say anything else, though, he yawns hugely. He's definitely more tired than he thought.]
You think socks are the worst dirty laundry? Huh. I think I'd be more dubious about people's underwear.
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[Don't shittalk your teammates at this hour of the day, Lance. Wait until they have some coffee in them at least.]
[... the arm around him is. Well. It's relaxing. He just sort of leans into it, also without thinking. Like it's the most natural thing ever.]
Hey, I thought you said you didn't mind underwear. You just snagged your first house chore, buddy.
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[Keith said he doesn't consider Lance a teammate because he doesn't know Voltron happened, so--
Wait a minute. Something's off here. There's one thing about hugging your bros. Lance doesn't have a problem with that. But there's this scene in front of him, where a half naked Shiro is leaning up against a half naked Matt. It's different.
It's intimate.
It's throwing Lance for a loop.]
I'll do the dishes instead. [Said slowly because he's too distracted to properly protest. And then, curiosity deep in his voice:] What are you guys doing?
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[Matt thought he was waking up, but now he feels like he's asleep again.]
Shiro's... leaning against me?
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[He can feel his face starting to flush again. But throttles it down. Forcefully. Choosing to shift his weight to support the sleepier Matt instead.]
Laundry. Dishes are the only thing I'm allowed to do in the kitchen. [And then play it cool. Play it cool.] We're talking to you.
[NAILED IT.]
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[No, that's not quite it. Definitely not just hugging going on in front of Lance's eyes. He's a idiot only half the time. This is the other half where Lance is putting two and two together and finding out this might be a new kind of four.]
You guys are... cuddling?
[Yep. That's more like it.]
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[Matt is too tired for this.]
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[He will not be embarrassed anymore dang it! This is him. Playing it cool.]
“We”.
[Yeah that pronoun you were so curious about earlier, Lance.]
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Lance blinks at the two men owlishly.]
Oh.
[And then:]
Oh! [He points to Shiro and then Matt.] You? And him? The both of you?
[And the last clue is the fact they're both in boxers... in front of him. After being dragged out of bed by his shenanigans. Lance suddenly turns his head away, covering his eyes with he palm of his hand.]
I DIDN'T LOOK, I SWEAR!
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[Lance, Matt's oblivous at the best of times. This is not one of those times.]
Yes, Lance, Shiro and I are together. I've had a crush on him for ages. And, well, it's not exactly like it was a secret at the Garrison that I'm gay as fuck.
[Filter? What filter.]
1/3
Yes. The both of us. I had a better way to tell you, but then you woke us up and --
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Calm down. What to you mean, "didn't look"--
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[Such a completely frank and open line like that makes him actually choke on the attempted effort to calm down his teammate.]
[He's sort of standing there with a half-cocked (no pun intended) expression, torn between Team Leader and Mortified Boyfriend.]
...
Lang... uage.
[you tried, buddy]
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[Which is what he's referring to and isn't it great that that's Lance's biggest concern right now? Not that they're dating or that they're two men (and Lance can certainly not judge them on that with his own interest that plays for both sides), but that either one might be worried he took a peek at their significant other. Lance is but a simple dude and that's the best part of him.
There's a snort coming from Lance's direction and Shiro, please. You can't scold your boyfriend for bad language. Everybody's an adult here, anyway. Well, two out of three are. Come back at the end of the month for Lance.]
Now that was a curse, not like hell.
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Hey, he's hot. I don't care if people look.
[He turns to Shiro and shrugs.]
I have no filter when I'm half asleep, you know that. Besides. We were all Garrison cadets. We've heard worse.
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Lance, we just woke up — it’s hot, this is just. How we sleep.
[See nothin to be weird about here buddy. Just some grown ass boyfriends not dying of overheating in the Sevii Island Summer. That’s fine they’re fine. Time to move on. Everyone can go back to bed.]
[Or they can keep turning the bathroom into the Garrison Showers apparently.]
It’s not— I know we have! [So what?] The Pokémon haven’t.
[Blue and Coran, who are still very much watching the show with popcorn, just kind of wave. NAh Dad, they're good. Please find another reason to limit everyone’s cursing.]
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[Because Shiro is Dad and looking at him like that would just be gross. Matt, please. Get a filter right now before you kill Lance.
He cranes his neck to look over at them and peeks through his fingers.]
Shiro, are you seriously worried that the Pokemon will hear cursing? They can't talk!
[Well, not without some technological help anyway, but Lance's point still stands.]
Kaltenecker tackles me every time I take her out of the ball. I think she can handle a few fucks and maybe a shit too.
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[Matt yawns again, suddenly extremely tired, and extra frustrated. He feels like he missed something important.]
I'm with Lance on this one, Shiro. But I'm too tired to really argue.
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[He is going to take a minute to bury his face in his hands. And breathe. And focus. And have patience. Give him strength, absent Black Lion.]
All right, all right. Fine. But bear in mind, they all know how to text.
[And if he's correct, it... looks like Blue is poking at Shiro's gear. Probably dialing Zappy as they speak--]
-- so we're going back to bed. Before the Sevii Tabloids get a photo, care of Blue.
[With that announcement, the deeply buried, 20-something man inside Shiro opts to just. Scoop his boyfriend up. Like he weighs nothing. And they aren't in their boxers.]
Good luck at work, Lance.
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[Please don't give him ideas. Just... well, too late. He's gonna teach Blue how to use emojis now. Great.
He has no clue what Blue is actually doing right now and nor does he have any idea what Shiro is doing suddenly hefting Matt into his arms. Hrm. He should be headed to work, but really, something is niggling at his brain.]
Yeah I should get going but one question: are you guys gonna get schmoopy all over the place now? I'd like some warning to book it if so.
[Because Lance ain't here to see parental figures in PDA or be reminded how he's still the leading member in the Forever Alone Club.]