victory_road | Castle Prom 2020

Entry tags:

Castle Prom 2020

After arriving in Cerulean City and riding in one of a fleet of Cerulean Cape Shuckle Shuttle buses for an hour or so, the trees break and the road snakes along sea cliffs. In the distance, all can see a grand building rising up into sight, and excitement bubbles up within each and every heart as this year's mysterious, grandiose Prom location draws ever closer...

Welcome to the castle!

Their duo of hosts stand ready to welcome the characters when they arrive, assuring them that their luggage will be taken care of, and inviting them for a special tour of the castle, or would they rather first see their rooms, or perhaps even have a bite to eat? The choice is up to them.

THE CASTLE SIGHTS
The Outer Courtyard

For those wishing to get a breath of fresh air or looking for a place to perhaps engage in a little battling, look no further than the courtyard. Nestled safely within castle walls, the courtyard has been given a thorough renovation. The stones gleam like they have never gleamed before; a large fountain (certainly too new to have belonged to the original castle) stands at the center of the courtyard, the water gently cascading down over the marble figures of two nondescript and crowned humans, one holding a sword, the other a shield; wide-open doors welcome characters further into the castle.

The Stables

To the west lie the stables. Anyone interested in taking a ride along the cliff trails (or guests who just wants to see the horse Pokemon) is welcome to enter. The comforting smell of hay and wood hangs in the air, though any persons expecting to find familiar faces like Rapidash, Mudbray or Zebstrika is going to come off rather surprised.

Instead what they will find are snow-white, proud-looking equines. Their long, pastel-colored manes and tails have been brushed to perfection, occasionally adorned with braids and white flowers. Long, violet colored horns jut out from their foreheads, a spiralling pure white groove running along their length. Long fetlocks drift along the ground, rather like delicate pink clouds, almost giving the Pokemon the appearance of being stabled on air rather than something so common as hay.

Yes, anyone who has not yet had the pleasure of being able to admire the beauty and grace of the Galar Rapidash can look and ride their fill here. While the stable hands cannot allow anyone to actually keep one of the magnificent horses themselves no matter how much a guest is willing to pay, whenever their bosses aren’t looking, they certainly prove willing to provide characters with a Galarian Ponyta egg for a small price. (Limited to one per character)

The Kitchens

To the east lie the kitchens, and what kitchens they are! At all hours, characters will be able to smell the delicious aroma of a variety of sumptuous meals being prepared. In the mornings, the scent of fresh bread and breakfast fills the air, changing to the scent of pastries and later on more filling dishes as the day continues on, and fresh pots of tea are always on hand. Officially, the guests are asked not to enter the kitchen, as to not to disturb the many cooks working there. Unofficially, there are not exactly any guards, so if you really wanted to sneak in, you probably won’t get stopped.

The Dining Room

Adjacent to the kitchens awaits a large dining room. Tables have been set up in long rows with plenty of room for all with some to spare, and once someone sits down, almost as if by magic, they will soon find one of the waitstaff at their side, presenting them with an extensive menu. Order as much (or as little) as you like! The chefs will have it ready for you in a flash.

The Ball Room

The old castle ballroom has been done up to the nines, reflecting nothing but glory and splendor. Some delicate little tables and chairs stand at the sides of the room, for anyone who needs a quick break for their feet, but most of the polished marble floor is intended for dancing. There is a small chamber orchestra playing in a corner to provide everybody with only the classiest of tunes (though they do take requests for more modern music) and neatly dressed waitstaff with an uncanny ability to tell who is and isn't underaged flit through the crowd like black butterflies, making sure no glass goes unfilled.

The Inner Courtyard

The doors of the ballroom open wide onto a second, smaller courtyard at the back of the castle. Unlike the Outer courtyard, which was all stone, this smaller, Inner Courtyard is dominated by plants. The gardeners have done their very best to dress up the inner courtyard with plants and flowers of any kind - so many plants, in fact, that there is no room for battling out here. But if you wanted to take a breath of fresh air, wander around and look at the plants, or perhaps even try and find some of the small, secluded nooks created by the plant cover, you are more than welcome.

In between the lovely smelling blooms, characters will also be able to find bushes and small trees laden with unfamiliar berries! Small cards in the soil will explain exactly what kinds of berries they are and what effect they have, and characters are invited to pluck a few berries if they want. Just don’t get too greedy!

The new available berries are: Apicot, Salac, Ganlon, Petaya, Liechi, Lansat, Custap

The Library

Situated on the second floor is the castle's splendid library, a welcome respite for those less inclined to dance and frolic. Whatever books originally filled these weighty shelves are long gone, but their hosts have spared no effort in making reading material available to their guests. Among the shelves, guests will be able to find many books on the Galar region's history and myths. Some of these tales are already known over in this region (Who doesn't know the tale of the wise King Arthur and his oval table?) but there are also many more obscure and unknown fables and tales; the truly inquisitive may even be able to find some material on the two crowned fellows depicted in the main courtyard's fountain. It's almost as if Prom's esteemed hosts shipped over their whole personal library.

They may, in fact, have shipped over their whole personal library.

Pull up one of the plush armchairs, grab a book, and make yourself comfortable by the roaring fire! There's more to read here than you can finish in a lifetime!

The Bedrooms

Upstairs, guests will find all manner of bedrooms to choose from, from smaller rooms meant for a single person, to large ones for couples, to even larger ones for characters that would like to spend the night with a few friends. One thing holds true for them all: these rooms are seriously extravagant. Decked out in the finest of antique furniture like large canopy beds, solid wooden chairs, tapestries, and rugs, the decor brings to mind bygone centuries. There are even hearths in every room that can be used to light a small fire; while the rooms are all wired for electricity, unfortunately, central heating was a bit outside of the realm of possibility.

The Tower

Not all of the towers have undergone restoration, but the grandest, largest of them has. It will take some real stamina to climb all these stairs, but if they do, characters will be rewarded with two things:

First of all, their two hosts have seen fit to create a small miniature museum inside the Tower’s chambers. Paintings, tapestries, and artefacts have been brought over from the Galar region to be put on display. All the artefacts brought over depict moments from Galar’s rich history, including paintings of ancient kings and queens, an actual knight’s armour, chalices, swords tucked in velvet under lock and key, and richly woven tapestries that for some reason seem to depict knights battling giant Slugma.

If you still have energy after the climb to get here, you can continue on to the very top of the tower. From the tower’s high vantage point, it seems the entire Kanto region is on display in the incredible view. The ocean stretches out along the horizon, but closer to home, characters will be able to behold wild forests and cliffs, the green lush routes of Cerulean Cape itself and at night, millions and millions of stars twinkling up overhead.

And all the rest...

Beyond those sparkling rooms and done up corridors lies... the rest of the castle. The parts of the castle not quite done with their renovations are roped off, but nothing is stopping guests from exploring if they so wish - especially if they are interested in finding those rumored lost treasures or traps.

While the rest of the castle shines, these parts of the castle feel almost haunted. Dust and derelict dominates the rooms, old broken furniture covered in dingy white sheets and creaking doors adding to the atmosphere. Did the eyes of that painting just move? Why is there a weird draft coming from that wall? What was that strange ominous creak coming from behind you? Are there any dungeons? Wait, did you just hear someone crying in a far off room?

Jeez, no wonder they say this place is haunted.

The Rocky Beach

The main attraction outside of the castle, besides the hiking and riding paths, is a small stretch of rocky shoreline accessible just outside the main courtyard and down a surprisingly sturdy set of stone stairs. While it's a crummy place to lay out and get some sun, it is littered with bits of detritus from the sea. Shells, whole or broken, peek out between smooth pebbles and the rare piece of sea glass, and at low tide clumps of seaweed lay draped over the craggier outcroppings. Nothing is stopping you from fishing or poking around in the shallows for Pokemon, but you're more likely to find an interesting souvenir than a new friend...

AVAILABLE POKEMON
Naturally, this wouldn't be a Pokemon Prom without some Pokemon to catch! All catchable Pokemon range between the levels of 10 to 30. The Pokemon in the castle mostly haunt the unfinished section, but feel free to have the occasional encounter in the renovated sections too!

Castle

Impidimp; Gastly; Haunter; Litwick; Lampent; Duskull; Shuppet; Sinistea; Misdreavus; Honedge; Doublade**; Dusclops**; Polteageist***; Gengar***;

Courtyard

Butterfree; Cutiefly; Ribombee; Beautiful; Vivillion;

Rocky Shore

Binacle; Staryu; Wimpod; Frillish; Krabby; Kingler**; Jellicent**; Slowking***;

During the characters' stay, they might suddenly find their room a mess, as if a small tornado went through their luggage. They might even find themselves missing some incidental items or articles of clothing, nothing necessarily valuable or significant, but it sure is weird. This is... probably the work of the castle's Pokemon, right?

TREASURE HUNTING
While your shuttle bus slowly trundles towards the castle, the driver will regale his riders with local stories and legends, chief among those the legend of the castle itself.

You see, the castle was built by a relative of Bill (you know, the Pokemon storage system inventor?), but no one has lived in it for years and years because it is haunted. No, not haunted by Ghost types. That would be rather common and hardly worthy of note, wouldn't it? No, the castle is haunted by the ghost of Bill's great-great-great-uncle, and rumor has it that he is so possessive of the castle and its contents that he will kill all who enter.

You see, even when he was alive, this man's enormous hoard of wealth was only outmatched by his enormous amount of paranoia. He was so paranoid that others would come to steal his wealth that he built his castle high upon the cliffs where no one could approach it undetected. But that wasn't enough to settle his fears! He started to hide his multitude of treasures all around the castle, and he built many traps and secret passages to protect them. It's said he was so fiercely protective of his money that he refused to leave the property even after his death, and his spirit still haunts the castle to this day. Many who have tried to find his treasures have disappeared.

That is what the rumors say, at least.

In any case, feel free to explore those abandoned halls and ruins for these supposed long-lost treasures. Better check for hidden rooms and passages behind old bookcases, trap doors covered by thick dust-riddled carpets, and perhaps even a hidden vault or two in the castle basements. Players are free to go absolutely wild in coming up with secret passages and hidden secrets for their characters to find.

Now, as for the treasures characters can find during these explorations, they can broadly be divided up into two categories.

The first category of treasures are common treasures. These are small, fairly common items that can be sold after prom for a small amount of Pokedollars each (think 100-200p), or they can be kept as a memento. Generally, these are small items that could easily fit inside a character's pocket and won't necessarily be well hidden. Characters are allowed to find as many of these common treasures as they want.

Examples of common treasures would be items like pieces of antique silverware, broken mirrors, small figurines, old books damaged by the passage of time (but perhaps still readable in some places), or parts of worn and threadbare tapestry.

The second category of treasures are rare treasures. These are properly hidden items that can either sell for quite a bit of Pokedollars after prom (think 5000-6000p), or can be used in-game. In order to allow of an element of surprise, every character that wants to participate in finding some rare treasure is allowed to comment once to a special RNG comment to find out exactly what they will find. Each treasure will consist out of somewhere between two and four items, the exact number of which will be left up to chance.

For any questions, please refer back to the previous OOC post.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I do.

[It is the serious nature of the conversation that has him admitting it so easily. Because he does love her. Like he loves Shiro and miss Maya and Krieg and all the others that have become part of his family. And if his feelings for Angel are perhaps of a slightly different sort, then that's not something he is examining right now.]

And I think that is true for most people. You call yourself a selfish man, but isn't selfishness part of human nature? Maybe you are more honest about it than some, in that you are willing to admit it to me, but I imagine most people would be at the very least tempted by the chance to trade some unseen life for their own if it would get them out of such torture. Probably they would eve find a way to justify it to themselves, saying there are others out there that depend on them and that they need to get back to them.

You recognise that Angel is better off not being around Jack, even though her being there would probably make him very happy. I don't believe Jack deserves any bit of happiness, but clearly you do. And yet, you are willing to see that something that would make him very happy is something he shouldn't have. You are putting Angel's happiness over his, and via that, your own.

That sounds pretty selfless to me. [Armin turns his head, enough to glance at Steven.] Perhaps you are not as selfish as you think you are.

[Steven makes an odd noise, that isn't quite a laugh, turning his face away from Armin's again.] You really remind me of her, you know? Charley. You're-- very good at seeing the best in me. I mean, you don't know me the way she did, so maybe it isn't quite as miraculous-- but then, I was still actively trying then, so hard, to be a better man than my inclinations point me to be and now I'm... not. I can't, almost. Arcadia... the Hedge... they say our souls were torn when we crossed it. I don't know about that. I do know that we lose parts of ourselves while we're there. Essential parts. Parts of us that we just don't get back.

If we're very lucky, like my friend Polly back home, it's just a physical part of you that gets lost. But I know a man who lost his entire ability to care about other people, to empathize with them, and it's hell for him.

Myself... I guess what I lost was... mm, it's hard to put it into words. But there was a part of myself when I was younger, a very essential part of me, that wanted to be that better person. That was willing to bootstrap an entire moral compass from the borrowed principles of the people I knew who had functional ones, that tried to take their principles as my own.

That part of me's gone, Armin. I know it existed. I remember it. But it's-- gone. What you see in me now is... the tattered remains that were left behind when it was torn from me.

And I guess one of those barely there tatters is knowing that a kid deserves at least one parent who isn't-- like us.

[He takes a deep breath. Lets it out. Keeps looking at his whale.]

You're right that most people are selfish and don't realize it. Jack-- says sometimes that how I am in general is just how most humans are when he comes from and that they're only different in my time because people are still trying to pretend we aren't the same as any other animal. And-- maybe he's right. Maybe it's only that I'm self-aware of-- of my instincts and most people aren't. Some days I think he is right, that I'm more normal than I think I am, just a man out of time.

But other days, I know I'm just-- wired wrong. With a brain full of bloody-minded weasels.

[He looks back at Armin finally, with an stricken expression.]

But Armin... what you need to understand about me--and I wish I could spare you knowing this, but I don't think I can anymore, I'm too invested in you and you need to know what you're getting into with me--is that... is that for all the surface differences between us, when it comes to our fundamental natures... Jack and I are very much alike. The difference between him and me isn't one of-- of character or inclination or anything like that. The difference between us is... time, more than anything. And opportunity. And the exact circumstances of how we lost our desire to be better.

Once upon a time, I think he was very much like me. And someday, I might end up like him.

[He smiles bitterly.]

Are you sure you don't want to run away screaming?

Edited 2020-04-22 22:19 (UTC)

[Armin is quiet for a while as he sorts through his thoughts, tasting various replies on his lips as he tries to pick the best one. This isn't the sort of situation where an immediate answer is demanded though, which gives him a chance to actually (to some degree) sort through things. If he wouldn't have had that, his answer might be very different.]

I don't think it is just time separating the two of you. That would imply that what you end up as is inevitable, destiny of sorts. I don't believe in that sort of thing. We are our choices, if nothing else.

It's like you said, someday you might end up like him. Might. Even you can't guarantee it will happen. There is always room for doubt and change, for you to make different choices than the ones Jack made. And I really hope you do. Because I do think you have it in you to be a better man than you think you are. And that all the damage that has been done to you doesn't have to be permanent. We are often our own worst critics. I was. I convinced myself I was something I am not. It might be the same for you.

I'm sure Jack has agreed with every terrible thing you think about yourself. And why wouldn't he? He benefits from it. And you care about what he thinks because you care about him. But, he's not the only who cares about you.

And if I run screaming from you now, I can't count myself among those people.

Armin... [He pulls off his glasses so he can rub at his eyes, which have taken a distinct turn for the watery.] I really don't deserve someone like you.

Though, ah, I wouldn't say that. About Jack. And the way I see myself. That's the thing, Armin. I'm the one who looks at myself and says things like 'monster' and 'fucked up' and Jack's the one that says 'natural' and 'normal' and-- it's weirdly nice. For him to know the kind of shit that's in my head and not-- be bothered in the least.

And I don't-- I don't mean loving men. Though obviously he's not bothered by that either. I mean-- God, all the rest of it. All those bloody-minded brain weasels.

Jack is the only man who's wanted me the way that I am, Armin. Everyone else just wanted-- sex with a pretty face or a carefully curated version of myself where I played normal for them. But Jack's never wanted that shit. Even when we were just-- fucking. I'd try to figure out who he wanted me to be for him, because I liked him enough to want to do that-- and he just didn't... he didn't want me to be anyone else than who I already was.

I've never liked myself. Not until I met him. But when he's around, liking me, and performing that strange alchemy that turns 'fucked up' into 'normal'... I do like myself, Armin. It feels so good to be able to like myself.

[He makes a rueful huff of sound.]

About the only thing I've ever said about myself that he's agreed on is 'predator'--and from him, it's not an insult. It's-- sort of value-neutral, I guess. Not something that has to be bad or good--just something that is.

And it is, as it happens, unfortunately true. I was literally forced by my Keeper to prey upon the life force of my charges, my friends, in order to rig his matches. It's what shaped me into the kind of Changeling I am. I am literally a predator, Armin, and it doesn't matter that I didn't want to become one. It's not something I can take back.

So, you know, at least Jack's fine with it, even if he agrees. And-- honestly, if he'd tried to tell me I wasn't when I know I am, I'd have-- felt uncomfortable, probably. Because that would have meant he wasn't seeing me anymore.

[The way he feels when people tell him that he's a good person.]

Edited 2020-04-23 07:20 (UTC)

[In reflex, Armin scrunches up his nose just slightly when Steven mentions fucking Jack. It's not the fact that he is fucking men that is a distaste to Armin, just that it is Jack. And he doesn't even realise he is doing it. His face just has a tendency to be very expressive.

He has plenty of thoughts about what Steven is saying, but honestly, it's all jumbled up in his mind. This is not the sort of subject he often talks about. It's not something he has had time to formulate his thoughts on and carefully pick the best and right way of saying things. What he wants to argue is that there are perhaps more ways for Steven to be than fucked up or Jack's normal. That there are more options, but obviously, Jack will only confirm the one that benefits him.

(though if he is really honest, isn't he doing the same thing?)

That Steven is a predator, yes, but forced into it. Like a dog trained to bite rather than one that naturally took to it. And that maybe part of Steven wants to believe it just was inevitable or natural for him because that gives him an out in confronting what he did to survive. That maybe his views of his own morality or better put lack thereof are defensive. That he is, in his own way, trying to protect himself from the memory of what happened to him in Arcadia.

It's too jumbled up though for him to properly get it out. Not without the risk of misspeaking and accidentally offending Steven, which he doesn't want to do. He reaches up, running his fingers through his hair in a short gesture of frustration at his own inability to properly convey his feelings and thoughts.]

I just... I don't really know how to properly put this. I'm sorry. I want to be able to but it's really complicated.

I think what I want to say is that Jack is showing you one way to like yourself, but maybe that isn't the only way. Or the best way in the long term.

Edited 2020-04-24 01:44 (UTC)

[Steven only catches the tail end of the nose scrunch. His glasses were off already, so he was taking advantage of the fact to polish them on the edge of his shirt. He doesn't think too much of it. He knows that Armin hates Jack, after all. He just-- wants to defend his boyfriend's honor. That's all.]

Maybe it is. Maybe it isn't. I don't know. Before Jack, the closest I ever came to liking myself was around Charley. She knew... a lot of what was in my head, mostly because I thought-- I thought she'd turn out like me, so I was trying to-- to give her tools to deal with that. And then she turned out to be.... well. Like you.

[He bites his lip.]

I hate that she's gone. I hate that-- that it happened when I was gone. If I hadn't been taken...

I was going to talk to people at work, pull some strings. See if they could find something for her at the station. Something to keep her busy. She'd-- fucked up applying to grad school two years in a row. I mean, the first year, it was pretty understandable. One of our cousins got into a car crash. So she'd come home after graduation, said she'd take a gap year, maybe try to finish one of the novels she'd been poking at. And then she'd gone through a messy and awkward break-up the year after that. Which, you know, I could empathize with completely. So I was-- I wanted her to come down to live with me, you know? She was my best friend.

But she had a job interview coming up she was excited about. So I was going to wait to see how that went before I did anything. And that's when El Pecador took me.

I found out when I got back that she was working in Brooklyn when she disappeared. It-- wouldn't have happened if she'd been in San Diego with me.

[He snorts ruefully.]

I was such an idiot. If I hadn't used my press pass to get somewhere I wasn't supposed to be--

[He shakes his head.]

I'd have still been pulled here eventually. I'd still have slept with Jack. I doubt I'd have stayed the night the first night--my initial lodging in Goldenrod were in an underground windowless room with a roommate who insisted in total darkness to sleep and that wouldn't have changed, but it wouldn't have-- it wouldn't have been such a misery for me if I hadn't been taken before. Or if the world native man I'd shared with had just worn a damn eyemask and let me keep some light on. I wouldn't have seized on any excuse not to sleep there anymore.

There might have been-- other nights. I did like him as a person and not just-- someone to have sex with and forget about. I don't-- know if I'd have opened up to him so easily if it hadn't been for that constant proximity. I think we'd still have been friends, possibly ones who occasionally slept together.

So. You know. You probably would have had to deal with his surprise presence at D&D anyway.

Edited 2020-04-24 13:07 (UTC)

You know you can't think like that, right? About Charley, I mean.

[Forget Jack for a moment. This is a far more important subject.]

Thinking how, if you only had been there or if you only had done this or not that, that nothing would've happened to her. You cannot second-guess your decisions like that. And just because the situation would've been different, doesn't mean she would've necessarily been safe.

I know what it is like, thinking things like that. Believe me, I do. As a soldier, you always want to save everybody but sometimes not everybody can be saved. And you cannot change that. And hard as it is, you have to accept it, because else you are just going to keep second-guessing yourself to a point where you cannot help anyone anymore.

A soldier... God, you're just a kid. I mean, in my world, you'd be just old enough to enlist, even if you're baby-faced enough to pass for someone in high school, but I thought you've been here for... years. [He frowns.] You're nineteen now, right? So you'd have been fighting before you'd have even come of age where I come from.

Jesus.

[He knew Armin was from a lower technology world, not because of anything Armin had explicitly said, but from things he'd picked up via conversation. So it made sense in an awful way that Armin could have gone to war as a teenager. Still...]

[Ah. Right. This.]

I'll be twenty in November. I joined the army when I was twelve. Though, technically, the first three years I was a trainee. When I was pulled here, I had been a member of the Survey corps for a bit over a month.

[And already he had seen two massacres! Not counting the one he saw long before he ever joined the army.]

Jesus fucking Christ.

My God, Armin, what was going on that had you enlisting that young?

Edited 2020-05-01 01:57 (UTC)

It's a bit of a long story.

[Though it is actually fortunate they are on a beach, even a mostly rocky one. It means Armin can use a piece of driftwood to draw three rough circles on the ground, each enclosing the others.]

First I'll have to tell you have I grew up. I grew up in a world that believed that most of humanity had been eradicated a century ago. In fact, we believed we were the only living people still left on the planet and what saved us was the fact that we lived behind the Walls.

[Armin points at his rough drawing with the piece of driftwood.]

Each Wall was fifty meters high and I'd say about fifteen meters thick, and they completely enclosed all our territory. I grew up here, in a small border town called Shiganshina.

[Here he points to the most southern point on the outmost wall.]

The reason why we lived behind the Walls and why nobody was ever allowed to leave is because the world outside the Walls was titan territory. Titans are... or at least, the way we understood them at the time, huge mindless monsters. Most titans are anywhere between three and fifteen meters tall, though exceptions exist.

[He adds another drawing, one of a rough, humanoid shape.]

Titans roughly resemble humans physically, though that is where the comparison ends. As I said, they are huge. They also don't require any nourishment as far as we can tell -- in fact, they don't even have a true digestive system-- and derive their power from the light of the sun. Their intelligence varies somewhat, but all are incapable of communication. In fact, for the most part they are driven by only one desire and that is to devour every person they come across.

My God.

[That's-- fuck. That's completely and utterly horrifying. Steven just stares down at the drawings in the sand.]

So... were you part of some kind of... peace-keeping taskforce or something? One that kept order within the walls? A military cop?

[That's still fucking early to enlist, though, even if Armin was just a glorified policeman.]

[Armin shakes his head.]

There is more.

When I was ten, titans attacked the Wall around the town I grew up in. I told you the Wall was fifty meters tall, right? That's why, even with the titans roaming outside, most people felt absolutely safe. Because they believed that no titan could ever breach the wall.

They were wrong.

When the titans attacked, they were led by a titan we call the Colossal Titan. It's sixty meters tall, tall enough that I saw it on that day, peering down at us from over the wall before he [a slip of the tongue] destroyed the gate. We lost all of Wall Maria that day. [Armin draws an X over the southernmost point of the wall.] With the gate destroyed, titans could flow into our territory for the first time in over a hundred years. Those that could, fled behind Wall Rose, but we lost a lot of people that day. And a lot of our farming land.

My best friend's mother died in the attack. Debris from the wall fell down on their house and she got pinned underneath. If it wasn't for Mr Hannes, Eren and Mikasa would've died too. He's the one who carried them away when they kept trying to get her out from under the house.

[What he doesn't say is that the only reason Hannes even knew Mikasa and Eren were there was because he had gone to find him.]

Jesus fucking Christ.

[Yeah, no, Steven is pretty thoroughly appalled by this.]

I know-- I know it doesn't help one bit, but. God, Armin, I'm so sorry.

[Just... what Armin would have seen that day. What Armin had gone through. Steven had felt like he'd lost everything, but there'd always been a chance to get most of it back if he'd just-- stopped listening to the Winter Court, accepted what he was and what he wanted, and killed his goddamn fetch.

Armin... would never be able to get any of that back.]

Edited 2020-05-02 01:28 (UTC)

That is part of why I joined. When his mother died, Eren vowed revenge. He wanted to destroy every single titan. I mean, he had always idolised the Survey Corps. I remember he dragged me and Mikasa to watch them each time they rode out on a mission. But when his mother died, really, the only thing he could think about was destroying every single titan.

[To the point of forgetting that one thing they had originally talked about joining for.]

That's part of why me and Mikasa joined. If Eren was going to join, so were we. We only had each other left, after all. So we worked the fields as refugees for two years and then joined the moment we could. Many kids our age did. If nothing else, if you were in the army, you were sure you'd get fed.

[Maybe not spectacularly fed, but few nonetheless.]

But for me, I also had another reason for joining. Ever since I was a child, I've wanted to see the world outside the walls. Information about the outside world was strictly forbidden, but my grandfather had a hidden book full of information about what was outside the walls. I wanted to see all of it -- the ocean, the volcanos, the seas of ice and sand. Joining the army was the only way to accomplish that, so I joined.

It's a little selfish, I guess.

Not that selfish, really. I mean, just because you wanted to see something outside the wall too doesn't invalidate wanting to stay with your best friends and supporting Eren in his goals.

Still, god, fifteen seems way too fucking early to be sent out to fight, even if you're fighting giant monsters, not other people. Maybe especially if you're fighting giant monsters.

[Not unless you're in a giant robot, his mind prompts because of course it would, he watched way too much anime with that kind of theme.]

We chose to fight. Nobody forced us.

[Maybe it wasn't what Steven was implying, but Armin had heard the sentiment often enough. And he understands that for people who come from more peaceful worlds, the decision to fight is one hard to fathom, but it was something he decided. He had agency in the situation. It would've been so easy to drop out during training (many had) or never start it at all, but he wanted it.]

I know, I know. Just-- it's still young. You'd have still been in school in my world.

That would've been nice, but unfortunately, it wasn't an option. Maybe if I would've been from the Interior...

[Though probably less school in that case and more private tutor.]

Yeah. [Steven's quiet, staring down at the drawings in the stand.] I'm glad you're here, Armin. And not back in your world. Where you can explore without having to fight giant monsters. And become the marine researcher you were meant to be.

Same. When I first got here, I couldn't help but feel I should try and get back as soon as possible but now I don't really want to leave anymore. It's selfish, I know, for a soldier who swore to protect humanity, but... I just really like this world. It feels more like a home than my world ever did.

[After a moment, Steven nods.] I ought to want to go home too, [he says quietly.] To-- take my life back. Maybe I still do a little, but.

But I like being able to, mm, be myself more here. To not feel like I have to keep everything compartmentalized, even if it's made things kind of emotionally messy.

[Armin gives Steven a bit of a wry smile.]

Unfortunately, I think 'emotionally messy' sort of describes the human condition.

[He laughs.] Yeah. It does. [And-- he's human, isn't he? Now he is. Before Arcadia he was too, really, even if he'd thought of himself as an alien or a monster a lot of the time.

After a moment, he gives Armin a smile of his own.]

I'm glad I met you. I think sometimes you help me get my head on straight too.

[Even if it was in a completely different way than Jack did.]

[Armin's smile turns more bashful.]

I'm glad I met you too. And that's what friends are for, right? To help each other.

Castle Prom 2020

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

billy mays voice BUT WAIT THERE IS MORE (TRAUMA)

shut up billy

we've only just started uncovering the trauma iceberg.

YEAH I CAN SEE THAT

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)