victory_road | [03] [Texts w/ Chloe at 4 AM] [Image heavy!!]

I am not nearly decrepit enough to be in danger of breaking a hip by falling over. Not unless I fell out of a third floor window.

THIRD floor window??

dude even like a olympic champion would prolly break a hip falling out the second floor window
youre way too overconfident in ur hips
i think youre overcompensating bc you actually know youre old
this is denial.

I am perfectly well aware of what my hips can and cannot withstand. It has nothing to do with denial.

oh my god youre so MAD
build a bridge and get over it
wait thats too much work for your 98 year old ass
maybe have ur ninetales do it for you

I work very hard to keep my body in peak condition.

[BRO DO YOU EVEN LIFT BECAUSE HE DOES]

Given enough time and proper materials I could absolutely build a bridge.

oh my god though
even that sentence is hella old man speak
"given enough time and proper materials"
somebody who isnt old just builds the fuckin bridge
but you
you build the bridge if u have enough time and proper materials

youre an old man
with decrepit hips
im surprised you managed to hobble into mistys gym let alone battle her lmao

If you don't have the proper materials then what are you building the bridge out of? Irony?

[goddamn kids]

For your information I have twelve of the sixteen badges. I am perfectly capable of battling.

u build the bridge out of whatever u can
its called being adaptable and not set in ur old man ways
did u know ants build bridges out of themselves
maybe the bridge is made out of human bodies
whatever its made out of isnt the proper materials
because im not old

sure u do

When did I ever say that ants or human bodies weren't proper bridge material.

If you don't believe me I would be happy to demonstrate.

[It is four fucking AM]

[See. She would respond to that, but. You just challenged her. And now that's the only thing on her radar.]

you wanna fucking go

[It sure as fuck is my dude.]

Behind the Dedenny's in south Goldenrod. Twenty minutes. Three on three.

[And then, a few minutes later:]

What level is your team, roughly.

[He has something to prove and he can't prove it by just trouncing her with three Pokémon at level 100.]

Edited 2018-01-16 11:12 (UTC)

wouldnt you like to know bitch

[No see now you've got her in Fight Mode, so she's already on her way and not willing to fuck around. It's none of his damn business what level her Pokemon is, as far as she's concerned.]

why dont u shut up and hobble on over already
ill be waiting

I don't hobble anywhere.

[WELL FUCKING FINE THEN he'll bring a group in the mid levels and a couple of outliers just in case and pick as he goes.

He does, in fact, bring the Ninetales. Just in case.

As it turns out, he's a lot taller in real life than he looks in memes. He also hasn't slept in about twenty-four hours and has had maybe nine combined shots of espresso in that time, so he is more than ready to throw down behind this diner.]

Chloe Price?

[Okay she'll give him that, he's taller than the memes made him appear. But she's not so short herself, she 5'9. She's a tol girl. She ain't afraid of you, ya old coot.

Unlike him, she doesn't really think about who to bring because all she's got is her ragtag bunch of misfits all in their 50s and below. Her best Pokemon would honestly be Munchies and J, her former bundle of eggs-turned-tree.

Evolutions are weird.

She can't rely on Gyarados because he's still an angry boy for how she treated him as a fish. She's apologized, but it doesn't do much good.

Still, she's Confident. She's got this. Her team is fucking great.]

Stanford Pines Sr.

[She raises her eyebrows and holds up a Pokeball.]

I'm gonna kick your ass back to the retirement home where you belong, let's fucking do this. J, come on!

[WHOMF there's a thicc tree girl ready to GO.]

[See, this would be the appropriate time to send in the Ninetales. So he doesn't.]

I wouldn't be so sure of that. Phoebe! Let's go!

[He removes a Pokéball from the strap across his chest. Oh, yes, he's very confident in this choice.

Across the concrete lot from the large, strong tree is just the tiniest, cutest little pink puffball. She's almost perfectly round and she's got big ol' eyes and a cute curly tail and oh, boy, is this guy for real?]

[Chloe out right scoffs when Phoebe appears on the field. That ugly big pink thing is supposed to beat Joyce? Please. J would would kick her ass to next Tuesday.

J herself doesn't look bothered in the least.]

J, go stomp her ass!

[Fwoom. Fwoom. With heavy steps, Joyce is closing the distance as fast as a large tree can feasibly go, looking like she's about to fuck somebody's shit up.]

[Clearly Chloe has never encountered a Clefairy before. Or at least not a Clefairy so singularly bent on straight-up murder as Phoebe is. The chiptune music playing from Somewhere^TM intensifies and so does the smile on her face, which is less of a cutesy little 'owo' and more a vaguely-unsettling Cheshire grin.

Are we sure this is a Clefairy and not a Gengar?

Ford sizes up the approaching Thicc Tree. It's a Psychic type, so a special attacker, which means Phoebe's stat-lowering moves won't do too much to it when they're all centered on physical. Can he afford some setup in light of that?]

Sweet Kiss. Confuse it!

[If this hits, that big slow tree is going to have so much trouble controlling its own feet that he won't have to worry. Phoebe darts back away from those approaching stompy feet, winks one purple eye, raises a stubby hand, and blows a veritable barrage of hearts J's way. The points are very, very pointy.]

[Maybe the music would explain why Chloe is even more Pumped than she would ordinarily be. If she knew it was his ~theme song~ she wouldn't be so jazzed about it, but she honestly has just learned to go with the flow when it comes to that.

Also she's definitely has little experience with Clefairy so she doesn't know what she's in for. But at 4 AM that grin is. A little unsettling.

Still, she and J are confident. They've got this.

Unfortunately, J is still adjusting to being more than a pile of eggs. It's only been a few weeks and she isn't the most coordinated on her feet, so when her stomp misses she loses her balance and that's the upper hand Phoebe needs to land her kiss attack.]

Wow, gay.

[J waddles to a halt and looks around, dazed and confused, not sure what's even really happening right now. It's a battle, right?

Right! So she should be attack. Welp, best use egg bomb. She starts shaking her body vigorously, letting lose eggs from its tree area, where they fall every which way and begin exploding. She doesn't seem to mind the splash damage.]

Hey! J, cut it out! At least aim for the fairy! Try and put it to sleep, use Hypnosis!

[She seems pretty content on damaging herself with egg bomb, honestly.]

['Gay'. Really. That's incorrect in an awful lot of ways, most of them ones Ford doesn't want to go into when he's trying to concentrate on a battle.

Phoebe, meanwhile, is dodging around that wayward Egg Bomb, her little feet pumping. She and Ford both know that Hypnosis is going to be a problem, which means it's time to up their game before their opponent regains her sense enough to actually use it.]

Phoebe, Fire Punch!

Clef, clefaaaairy!

[Oh, with pleasure. Phoebe kicks off from the ground and draws back one tiny arm, which bursts into flame. She aims right for the center of J's leaves. No more fucking around.]

[Chloe clutches her beanie and pulls it down around her ears in mild distress and frustration as J continues to throw egg bombs everywhere. UGH. Why is it so difficult to snap somebody out of confusion??]

Ugh. Shit- fuck! J! Watch out!

[J seems to come to just as it's too late. The fire punch lands squarely in her leaves and there's an audible FWOOM as she lights up.]

Exegggg!

[It's a critical hit and after J manages to back away long enough to shake her leaves out, she's barely hanging in there. Chloe's grown kind of fond of J since adding the dumb cluster of eggs to her team, so she would feel terrible making J fight any longer even if she might be able to manage an attack. There's no way it would be Enough to beat Phoebe.

Grudgingly, Chloe holds out J's ball.]

Alright girl, you did good. Get back in here. [BEAM.]

[With determination, Chloe reaches for the next ball.] Firewalk, let's do this!

[There is a massive thud as Firewalk, the black Charizard, hits the ground. Roaring viciously, he lets out a jet of flame and gives Phoebe a look. You're goin' down, binch.]

Hit her with your fire blast!

[FWOOM.]

[Woah boy. There is a split second where Ford is completely distracted by how striking that gleaming black hide is before he remembers this is a battle and he can ask her for a closer look at her shiny lizard after he's proven his point.

Phoebe lands back on the ground, ludicrously small in front of Firewalk, just in time for that Fire Blast to hit her square in the face. She tumbles backward, curly hair and tail singed, and only pushes herself back to her little feet with great difficulty. Ford could call her back now, but he knows her and he knows she'd refuse. Phoebe likes to see things through to the end, whatever that means. It's one of the reasons they get along so well.]

Can you keep going?

[She turns back to him, squares the shoulders she doesn't have, and nods.]

Faaairy!

[Okay. Her fairy typing won't actually help her here, because against all odds Charizard isn't a dragon type. He can't afford trying to set anything up, even if his gut instinct is Minimize -- don't let it hit you. No, no, offense is the only choice.]

Alright then! Meteor Mash!

[If it hits, she might have a chance. If it hits.]

[Well fuck. If she doesn't knock this stupid pink bitch out soon, this battle is gonna tip uncomfortably in Ford's favor. She can't just let him win after all that! It would really wound the good ol' pride.

But she looks severely weakened, so she's sure Firewalk can finish her off.]

That's when Chloe comes up with a plan. It's risky, but hey- she's never been smart with her battle strategies.]

Firewalk, take it but then use seismic toss!

[Firewalk braces himself and takes the attack to the stomach. He doubles over, but reaches out and grabs onto her to steady himself. The attack hurts for sure, he growls low and grimaces, but it isn't enough to fully knock him out. If anything, it's enough to piss him off and make him wanna Really Fight

Once they stop skidding back, Charizard tightens his grip on her and darts up, flying up before he starts to head back down, nyooming right towards the ground.]

[Oh, jeez. Phoebe can tell immediately that this isn't going to go well for her: much as she tries to wiggle free, there's no way to escape. She slams into the ground and if that isn't a knockout Ford doesn't know what is. Yikes.

Alright. This is fine. Things are even now, and her Charizard just took a Meteor Mash right to the gut. He's still in the better position, technically.]

Phoebe, return!

[She can't really do much else. She zooms back to her ball in a beam of light, and Ford hooks it back into the strap on his chest in favor of selecting another one.]

Alice, it's your turn.

[A Gothitelle bursts out like a bat out of hell and lands in a crouch, then stands up straight with his hands hands raised and curled into fists. He sizes up the Charizard and seems utterly unbothered.]

Okay! Future Sight!

[This is risky, but he's pretty sure it'll pay off in the long run. Either it will hit her Charizard or give him a leg up on whatever she sends in next. Alice raises his hands and his eyes glow bright blue. A wormhole forms by each hand. Blue light arcs down his arms and is sucked into the wormholes, which then disappear. They'll be back in due time.]

[It's pretty overkill, but Chloe wouldn't have it any other way. She had just really come to want to see Phoebe get knocked all the way out, and. Well there ya go.

Chloe can't help but squint a little at what Ford sends out. Is she supposed to be intimidated by that? Charizard absolutely doesn't look like he is.

When nothing immediately seems to happen, Chloe lets out a light chuckle.]

Talk about anticlimactic. Firewalk, use smokescreen!

[With a roar, he starts firing smoke out of his mouth like it's flames, engulfing the field in pitch darkness. Even Chloe finds herself coughing a little over where she's standing.]

Sweet, now use dragon claw when you can find that thing!

[Relying on his senses, Charizard slips through the darkness In Search of his opponent.]

Dodge--

[But Alice is coughing, and he just can't get out of the way in time on his tiny little feet. The Dragon Claw sends him flying. He stops himself with his own psychic power and lifts himself back to his feet. There's a very unpretty scuff mark on his cheek and boy is he mad.

He's so mad he could just cry.]

Fake Tears, Alice!

[He's going to be down to one soon and he doesn't know what's coming. At this rate he knows he has to work on making sure this Charizard goes down fast. Alice can take another hit, he thinks -- he's not sure -- but if Alice can't then at least Firewalk will be in a shit position for the next stage of things.

Alice's eyes get very, very big and very, very shiny. The frills on his head and all his little bows droop. God, isn't he just pathetic? Don't you want to lower your defenses?]

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