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[thedifferencebetween]

[Is that a ridiculously fat little Houndour in a gold party hat? Yes. Yes it is. Doom Boner looks thrilled. He's sitting in a plush looking yellow chair with a rocket ship chew toy between his paws. As usual, Jack himself isn't in the shot.]

How's everybody doing today? Handsome Jack here!

I sure hope everybody's doing great. Why? Because according to a little alert on my ECHOgear here, today's a very important day. In fact, it's the anniversary of one of the greatest things to ever happen. And you all get to be a part of it.

It's my birthday!

[And he really does sound pleased about this. Why wouldn't he be? Usually, on his birthday, he's lavished with attention and expensive gifts and all the pomp and adoration he deserves. Why should now be any different?]

I like classy booze, fine cigars, hot chicks in hats...all the good stuff.

And before anyone asks, no, vanilla is not an acceptable cake flavor.

It's vanilla.

Vanilla sucks.

Comments

[cardboard_boss]

[A good idea in Snake's mind. He was always afraid that damn dog would attack Kaz and bite his other arm off.]

Can't beat a good cigar. People don't know what they're missing. [Nope. Not at all. Who cares if they rot your lungs? They're damn good.]

You're a father?

[thedifferencebetween]

[That's a very loaded question for Handsome Jack. But he brushes it off, the only indication something's amiss is a small tightening at the corners of his mouth.]

Well, I mean, the kid I'm talking about isn't biologically mine. She just doesn't have anybody to look after her here, so I do.

I'm just a paternal guy in general, I guess. Whole lotta love to give...

[cardboard_boss]

You adopted her?

[Because that's what it sounds like. Snake liked kids but never really had time to get into the whole family business. Too dangerous with his kind of work.]

You're the loving type of guy, huh? Thought money would be your greatest love. [Yeah. He sort of can guess the type of guy you are, Jack.]

This back on your own world, right?

[thedifferencebetween]

Not like...legally. I...I dunno how that works here. And that'd be...weird. Yeah. Weird. For both of us. Cause no, no, this is here. We both got taken at the same time, met the first day we got stuck here. Just one of those things, a couple of people who kind of need each other find each other at just the right time.

Hey, I love all kinds of stuff! Money included. But also kids.

[cardboard_boss]

[Snake didn't really want to delve into Jack's personal life. Kids weren't really his forte either so he decided to change the subject.]

Yeah. Money is useful where you need it most. [As in building secret military bases? Hell yes.]

Still haven't got used to these Poke dollars though.

[thedifferencebetween]

Money's the friggin' best! Whoever said 'money can't buy happiness' is an idiot. Money buys stuff! And what does stuff bring? Happiness!

The exchange rate's gotta be shit.

[cardboard_boss]

Depends on what makes you happy in the first place.

[Always a pessimist? Sometimes.]

No idea what the exchange rate is. Might know someone who'd know though. My friend, Kaz, he's good with money. [Among other things.]