Video Post

[thedifferencebetween]

[Is that a ridiculously fat little Houndour in a gold party hat? Yes. Yes it is. Doom Boner looks thrilled. He's sitting in a plush looking yellow chair with a rocket ship chew toy between his paws. As usual, Jack himself isn't in the shot.]

How's everybody doing today? Handsome Jack here!

I sure hope everybody's doing great. Why? Because according to a little alert on my ECHOgear here, today's a very important day. In fact, it's the anniversary of one of the greatest things to ever happen. And you all get to be a part of it.

It's my birthday!

[And he really does sound pleased about this. Why wouldn't he be? Usually, on his birthday, he's lavished with attention and expensive gifts and all the pomp and adoration he deserves. Why should now be any different?]

I like classy booze, fine cigars, hot chicks in hats...all the good stuff.

And before anyone asks, no, vanilla is not an acceptable cake flavor.

It's vanilla.

Vanilla sucks.

Comments

video;

[pipers_son]

...What about as a frostin' flavor?

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[thedifferencebetween]

I dunno, it's gotta to be a hell of a cake to carry vanilla...

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[oldestfriend]

Hmmm, I can maybe provide one of those things... What kind of hats?

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[thedifferencebetween]

[Well now....]

Any kind, beautiful! What can I say? I just like a lady in a hat.

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[cardboard_boss]

Happy Birthday.

[One grizzled soldier here to say happy birthday, Jack.]

Got any diamonds on that cake of yours?

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[thedifferencebetween]

Thanks!

I dunno, I'll let you know when someone gets me a cake. But...doubtful, probably.

My cake last year had edible gold frosting, though! That was pretty cool. Made bathroom breaks pretty interesting for a couple of days, though!

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[dashdash]

[Doom Boner's getting cuter and cuter by the day, what a happy little pup. She switches her gear to audio so she can keep an eye on the road as she walks, but since it's Jack's big day and all, Mafuyu decides to call a bit earlier than usual so she can wish him a happy birthday before the day ends.]

Happy birthday!! How old 're you?

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[thedifferencebetween]

Thanks kiddo!

How old do ya think I am?

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[usedglaciate]

Happy birthday!

...vanilla does not suck.

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[thedifferencebetween]

Thanks, babe!

Not a vanilla guy.

At all.

[Is that innuendo or not? It probably is.]

[video]

[kissmyaspis]

Girls in hats. Can't imagine what exactly you're trying to hint at there.

[Vanilla. Right. Now Athena knows what she's going to send him!]

[video]

[thedifferencebetween]

Hint nothing, I was pretty clear there.

I've always liked hats.

[Not that Jack doesn't know what Athena means.]

Don't get me wrong, though, that...that'd be pretty much the best birthday gift I could get.

She liked you, ya know.

[thelittlegingerthatcould]

[Why are you asking for more when you've got a dog in a hat right there, dude? Dog in a hat is better than hot chick in a hat. They love you unconditionally, hot chicks...tend to appreciate things like personalities, and people who actually know how to talk to women without tripping all over themselves.]

I've got nothing, but happy birthday! And I think you've got a real winner there anyways. Who doesn't love a dog in a hat? That's all you'll ever really need to be happy, right?

[thedifferencebetween]

You could go get me something!

[Does it matter that Handsome Jack has never spoken to or even seen this person before in his life? No, no it does not. He's the king and it's his birthday. Why isn't there a pile of gifts building at his door already???]

What, Doom Boner there? Ha! He...oh boy, he's the exact opposite of a winner. Look at him, he's more fat than...anything else. I was gonna say something funny like 'brain capacity' or 'fighting power' or 'functional body parts', but they all apply.

[Doom Boner just lolls his tongue out on the screen.]

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[veggie_vamp]

Happy Birthday!

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[thedifferencebetween]

That's it?

Don't I get something a little more...personal?

[This man's entitlement knows no bounds.]

[Video]

[garbagechild]

<sub>[Vanilla is a word that Wrath has only heard in connection to one thing: pudding cups.]

[And being the open-minded kid that he is, Jack's judgmental statement has Wrath frowning at the screen.]</sub>

What's wrong with vanilla?

[Video]

[thedifferencebetween]

I don't like it. Not enough flavor to it.

Something I'd assumed small children agreed with, but apparently not.

[How old is this kid? Should it be allowed on the net unsupervised? Not that Jack cares, he's just continually amazed at how nobody seems to give a shit about kids being safe around here.]

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[thatwasours]

Careful, you don't show your face once in awhile, people are going to start thinking it's the dog talking.

Happy birthday.

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[thedifferencebetween]

Gotta leave the public wanting! Charismatic Rock Star CEO 101, right there!

[But he turns the 'gear to wink at Kaz. He has no reason not to show his face, he just considers video broadcasting a one on one kind of thing. Mass public addresses weren't personal, they didn't deserve his face.]

Thanks. Here's hoping it's my only one on this crummy planet!

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[coolskeleton_95]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! BIRTHDAY PARTIES ARE THE MOST FUN OF ALL PARTIES!

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[thedifferencebetween]

You've never been single at a key party, huh?

But yeah, birthday parties are great. I usually have huge ones. Wonder who's gonna throw me one here...

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[placide]

[ Rosa's all smiles and while some of it may be a result of his Houdour in the party hat, most of it is because she's genuinely happy for him. Being able to celebrate another year of life and accomplishments is remarkable to her, so she wants to be able to help out. Classy booze, fine cigars, or hot chicks in hats is quite the list.

... most of which she doesn't really understand. What defines a class when it comes to ale? What's a cigar? Hot chicks... a desert born maiden? They were certainly from two completely different backgrounds, but that wouldn't keep Rosa from finding a way to get him a gift. ]

With mirth and laughter may you embrace all the day has to offer, Handsome Jack. [ It's as if she's straight out of a fantasy world. Because she totally is. ] How fortunate I am that each coming day into your future is one we can share together as friends.

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[thedifferencebetween]

Well thanks, Miss Rosa! You're a real swell gal, you know that?

We should have dinner sometime! Like friends do. Cause we're friends.

[And there are apparently only two age appropriate women for him to flirt with in this whole world, one of whom happens to be Rosa.]

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[wildfaunusfled]

... one of the greatest things to ever happen, huh?

[SOMEONE'S enjoying themselves, apparently. Literally. This guy, man.]

What did vanilla ever do to you?

audio

[thedifferencebetween]

Damn straight, kiddo!

For the...look, it's the cucumber of desserts. Why even bother?