Video Post

[thedifferencebetween]

[Is that a ridiculously fat little Houndour in a gold party hat? Yes. Yes it is. Doom Boner looks thrilled. He's sitting in a plush looking yellow chair with a rocket ship chew toy between his paws. As usual, Jack himself isn't in the shot.]

How's everybody doing today? Handsome Jack here!

I sure hope everybody's doing great. Why? Because according to a little alert on my ECHOgear here, today's a very important day. In fact, it's the anniversary of one of the greatest things to ever happen. And you all get to be a part of it.

It's my birthday!

[And he really does sound pleased about this. Why wouldn't he be? Usually, on his birthday, he's lavished with attention and expensive gifts and all the pomp and adoration he deserves. Why should now be any different?]

I like classy booze, fine cigars, hot chicks in hats...all the good stuff.

And before anyone asks, no, vanilla is not an acceptable cake flavor.

It's vanilla.

Vanilla sucks.

Comments

audio

[thedifferencebetween]

Better. Automatically better. Anything with chocolate's gonna be better than plain vanilla. That's just common sense, babe.

I mean, yeah, there's a lot even better things to put in with chocolate. In fact almost anything is better. Why even put'em together like that?

You know what? No, never mind. Screw marble cake, too.

audio

[wildfaunusfled]

Interesting. So what kinds of cake do you like?

audio

[thedifferencebetween]

Rich and decadent. With so much pure chocolate you get a high off of it. And ingredients that have to be imported over literal galaxies. I like cakes that are gonna win reality tv show cake contests hosted by angry asshole chefs. My last birthday cake had edible gold frosting.

Oh, and marshmallow.

Marshmallow's friggin' awesome.

audio

[wildfaunusfled]

[... Blake would like to take back everything she has ever said about a non-Weiss'-dad rich person on Remnant because holy shit space rich people tho???]

I guess vanilla would pale a little by comparison to space chocolate.

audio

[thedifferencebetween]

Thank you! Someone finally gets it! I'm surrounded by deviant vanilla defenders, it's...it's ridiculous.

[Sometimes he swears he's the only sane person here.]

Obviously my options are limited here, but...this planet's gotta have some crazy awesome fruits or spices or something. I dunno. A Pokemon that cries candy tears...

Aw man, now I want candied Pokemon tears on my cake.

audio

[wildfaunusfled]

You know, that sounds like just a little too specific of a niche for there to be a Pokemon to fill.

[Also good to know this is a guy who would make Pokemon cry? For a cake????]

But there... are some pretty weird ones.

audio

[thedifferencebetween]

Well, my Pokemon Guide says there's one that's composed of organic cotton candy, so I'm gonna bet it's at least got candy....

[He stops himself. Public channel, kids around, he's gotta be a little bit careful.]

...you know what? Yeah. 'Tears'. We're gonna stick with 'tears'.

audio

[wildfaunusfled]

[...sir??]

Tears. Yeah. But... of course there's a candy Pokemon.

[She's been here for over a month and this place still makes her Tired sometimes.]