victory_road | ANOMALY DETECTED

i. detective arriving on the scene

[You see him out of the corner of your eye--a rumpled-looking man in a shabby trench coat wandering the routes, a large Stoutland trundling after him at a slow pace. He seems mildly bewildered by everything around him, from the 'animals' to the colorful scenery to the background music playing overhead. He scratches the back of his head, doing little to smooth out his unkempt hair. There's an uneven squint to his expression, perhaps owed in part due to his glass eye. In one hand, he holds a half-smoked cigar that stinks to the high heavens.

Despite the tumult and chaos occurring around him, the man remains calm and relatively unperturbed. He places the cigar in his mouth, then pulls out a creased map he seems to have acquired at a nearby Poké Mart. His brow furrows deeply as he studies it, turning it upside down, then checking to see if other sections of the map have been folded away.]

I never heard of any of these places....

[He mutters under his breath, a distinct Brooklyn accent tinging his words. After a few more moments, he glances up, then waves to a nearby person to come closer.]

'Scuse me! I seem to have gotten lost. Erm...must've taken a wrong turn or somethin', y'know, I just get so preoccupied with my thoughts I don't realize where I'm goin'. My wife tells me if my head wasn't attached to my neck, I'd lose it. [A chuckle.] Anyways...d'you happen to know how far we are from Los Angeles?

[The Stoutland behind him sneezes.]

ii. ain't that something?

[Columbo stands outside of a structure, scratching his head and squinting up at it. Maybe it's something from your home. It juts out like a sore thumb along the otherwise cohesive landscape, and, judging from the way Columbo keeps tilting his head, the detective is having some difficulty wrapping his head around the construction of this.]

Huh. Now how 'bout that?

[A pause. He rubs the stubble on his face, quirking an eyebrow.]

D'you know if we're allowed to go inside?

iii. wildcard

[Hit me up with anything you got! Plot with me @ wolfnoir.]

Edited 2022-11-25 20:34 (UTC)

[The nearby person in this case is by all accounts at first glance a generic lanky teenager, save the gray-blue hair. His clothes are illfitting but clean, solidly black from head to toe, with some partly worn slogan on it in bland white text. Ignore the evidence of what must be terrible allergies by all the scratches and gouges across his throat and parts of his face, they look self-inflicted.

Columbo and his stoutland are studied for a long, looong moment, the gastly bobbing at his side giving a particularly wide grin before he gives a shrug and steps closer to look at the map the man is holding.

Then reaches out to flip it upright between three careful fingers.]

American, huh? If we were where I was about an hour ago, I'd say about nine thousand kilometers.

[His voice is a dry, unpleasant rasp. Maybe he too, smokes! But at his age?? If he's twenty it'd be a shock. But for all that his tone is abrupt and bearing not exactly ... friendly, he doesn't also seem to be trying to be hostile.]

Now, who the hell knows. You been on a ten hour plane ride lately, old man? I haven't. Never been anywhere that plays background music without any speakers around either.

[His gaze shifts to the stoutland.]

...Cool dog though. Want to trade? I got a balloon without a string.

Huh? A balloon?

[Columbo scratches the side of his head, brow furrowing in a mildly perplexed expression. As far as he's aware, the Gastly looks nothing like a balloon to him, but what does he know about the pokemans?]

Er--no thanks, I'd feel bad if I didn't find this guy's real owner. He just started following me around, y'see, and I think he misses his master. He kinda reminds me of my own dog back at home, except instead of steppin' on his own ears, he steps on his own beard.

[The Stoutland seems to not care about this assessment.]

But, uh, no, I can't remember gettin' on a plane today. If I forgot that, I ought to get my head examined.

...What does your shirt mean?

[Shigaraki stares at the stoutland longer, expression blank. There's no doubt at all in his mind if that dog was following this guy around, then this guy was its owner.

By their data, gastlies are useful, but ... even after all this time he's got a soft spot for dogs he'll never admit to.]

These things, they're called 'pokemon', and almost all of them are feral. They decide their owner a lot of the time. If it's following you around, then you're the master. Supposedly a lot of them are smart. People smart.

[It's stated as if it's a fact, even though he has zero proof to back his words up. There might be some inkling of truth to it, given the relationship the occasional passing trainer seems to have with their pokemon.

He finally stops coveting the stoutland long enough to glance down at his own hoodie, brow furrowing. Maybe. Maybe if he tried to be more helpful, this guy would agree to a trade..

A moment is spent fishing out his cellphone, held delicately in three fingers. While he has signal, it's not likely to connect to anywhere useful.. and would Columbo even know what one is?]

Means what it says. I could be playing a game right now, instead I'm here. My cellphone still works, you want to try giving someone a call and see if they can come get you?

[Columbo might be doing a bit of a double-take at the person who responds to his beckoning. Under four feet tall, very green, and with a tail that flicks idly from underneath a trench coat that, admittedly, looks very much like the one Columbo is wearing himself, it's Riz! He cocks his head, one ear flicking slightly as he listens to the old man's rambling, before he shakes his head.]

Sorry, man. I've never heard of something called-- what did you say, Los Angeles?

[Riz frowns, touching his chin in thought.]

It's probably not on this plane. Or mine. What is it anyway? A country? A place?

A plane? I don't think I got on a plane when I got here....

[He stares down at Riz, brow knit together in a befuddled expression. He's never seen someone with green skin and this short, but, then again, what does he know about the world? Besides, it would be rude to ask.]

Los Angeles is a city, erm...in California? If you've ever heard of California. Hey-- [He points down at Riz, kind of gesturing to his coat.] --we match. Isn't that funny?

[Columbo's comment about his coat distracts Riz from explaining what a plane is --really! Does nobody here now normal terms like that--, and he glances down at the trench coat he is wearing over his suit.

Honestly, this coat is one of the few things he really digs about this world. It had been in his pack when he had first arrived here, and Riz was pragmatic enough to accept a really rad coat even if everything else sucks.]

Yeah, we do. Did you get one when you first came here too?

From...I'm terribly sorry, but I don't believe I've heard of Los Angeles.

[I'm sure this short pale woman will be of supreme help. Pay no mind to the pair of jackal ears or the weird way her eyes catch the light. It's super fine.]

I believe...ah, I believe you're in another world. So probably quite a distance.

Huh. Never heard of Los Angeles?

[He blinks. After a beat, he scratches the back of his neck.]

Gee, those ears of yours look really swell. How'd'ya get them to look so realistic? One of my nieces really likes dressin' up like an animal, maybe you can swap tips?

[He sounds really earnest when he asks. He doesn't seem to understand....]

[Her ears really do droop in distress. His daughter, his wife...oh, he is going to miss them terribly, won't he?]

I...am terribly sorry, sir. I am afraid I was born with these, so it'd be quite difficult to replicate.

[She hesitates, trying to think how to explain the rest in a way that...well, can at least be swallowed.]

For the rest I...think we ought to sit down.

[Radley is happy to see someone from Earth, although he's less than happy about the cigar. He approaches, casually waving away the smoke.]

Hi there. We are ... pretty far from L.A. This place isn't even Earth.

[He speaks perfect English, but has a soft Spanish accent.]

Oh.

[A pause.]

Well, can ya tell me where I am? My wife'll be pretty mad if I'm late for dinner.

I wish I knew. They don't even tell us the name of this place. It's a planet like Earth, filled with all these unique animals.

["Vee!" says Evie the Eevee.]

[Ryou is a pretty normal looking teen, aside from the long white hair. (Albino maybe?) He's dressed for the cold weather, with a puffy jacket and a scarf. A Hisuian Zorua trails behind him, staring at the Stoutland with a rather sad look.]

Ah, unfortunately we aren't on Earth right now. This place has a habit of dragging people here.

[He lifts his left hand out of his pocket to wave away some of the smoke, revealing quite the impalement scar on it. There's scarring on both sides of his hand. It's probably fine.

[Columbo blinks, tilting his head to the side and scratching behind his head.]

Gee, that seems awfully inconvenient. I mean, you could be tryin' to shop for groceries and then, whoosh, now you're in this weird place. No offense, if you live here, it's just very odd....and then who's gonna finish shoppin' for groceries and makin' dinner, huh?

[This guy seems like he tends to go on and on about things....]

D'you know when I'll be able to head back?

[Gyaraco's been hovering around the entrance, her Duraludon companion behind her. She's delighted as a 6 month old puppy to see someone else, her tail literally wagging.]

Let's knock and find out!

[Without any hesitation, despite it being such an odd construction, she knocks on the door hard enough to dent it.]

Helloooooo~oooo~? Can we come in?

[It looks to be a strange cave dwelling sunken into the ground. Columbo crouches down, peering at the hand-carved tunnels and the entrance to it. No comment about the ears and tail--he's already been introduced to these sorts of oddities in this world.]

Gee, you think that big guy can fit down there?

[He points towards Gyaraco's Duraludon.]

Looks real cozy. Smells good, too--you think they're makin' soup in there?

[The structure in question is a church - one that's caught Doppio's attention for a number of reasons. He may have been gawking at it for a while before he even realised somebody else was there.]

Huh? Uh, well... It's kind of a famous tourist spot back home, so I... guess we are?

[Not entirely sure what it's doing here, but like. It's one of those weekends. It might as well happen.]

[Columbo nods, making a non-committal noise as he stares upwards at the church. There's a long pause before he raises an arm to point up at the steeple.]

Gee--the architecture on this is real swell. What is this, French? Italian? My niece is tryin' to become an architect, applyin' to all these colleges and stuff, and she leaves books everywhere around the house. Can't walk five feet without trippin' over a picture book full of Frank Lloyd Wright's stuff.

[He rubs the stubble on his chin, nodding in a satisfied way. He then turns suddenly towards Doppio, gesturing to himself.]

I've never been to Italy, y'know. I've been to London, once. Traveling can be such a headache, though. I'd wanna go with the wife and kids, and there's a lotta things you gotta take into account with that--

[A pause as he realizes he's been going on about irrelevant details. He stretches out a hand for Doppio to shake, smiling warmly.]

Er, I'm sorry, I didn't even introduce myself. My name's Columbo, how d'you do?

... Italian, yeah. [Doppio makes a sound that's somewhere between a laugh and a sigh.] It's from an island in Venice.

[That... IS a lot. But it seems to be a gentle, harmless kind of "a lot," which Doppio can appreciate, so he is only slightly flustered.]

Oh, um, nice to meet you, Mr. Columbo. [He takes his hand. It's a bit more calloused than one might expect from his baby face.] My name's Doppio. Did you just get here...?

ANOMALY DETECTED

columbo | ota

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ii, hope this is okay...!

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