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[Is that a ridiculously fat little Houndour in a gold party hat? Yes. Yes it is. Doom Boner looks thrilled. He's sitting in a plush looking yellow chair with a rocket ship chew toy between his paws. As usual, Jack himself isn't in the shot.]

How's everybody doing today? Handsome Jack here!

I sure hope everybody's doing great. Why? Because according to a little alert on my ECHOgear here, today's a very important day. In fact, it's the anniversary of one of the greatest things to ever happen. And you all get to be a part of it.

It's my birthday!

[And he really does sound pleased about this. Why wouldn't he be? Usually, on his birthday, he's lavished with attention and expensive gifts and all the pomp and adoration he deserves. Why should now be any different?]

I like classy booze, fine cigars, hot chicks in hats...all the good stuff.

And before anyone asks, no, vanilla is not an acceptable cake flavor.

It's vanilla.

Vanilla sucks.

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[For a moment, Athena bristles, about ready to snap because wow does that hit way too close to home. Arguments late at night saying you don't need to be out there so much anymore, we can make due now!, sniping over ECHO calls because a job is taking too long and they're getting suspicious, feeling angry because this is one person you don't want to be angry at, nights spent out in the wild slaughtering anything with a pulse because the person you're the absolute closest to can't fully understand why you do what you do...

The look of frustration mixed with anger is pretty obvious on her face, even as she says nothing, but she forces it back with one long, deep breath, until her face is back to it's usual, neutral expression.]

If that's how her life's always been, how can you expect her to be content with living up on a space station that isn't infested with Dahl soldiers? It's like grabbing a skag right out of the wild and expecting it to be an obedient pet within a few days.

Trying to take her away from a life like that, a life that she managed to survive through long before you met her, might as well be the same as telling her I don't trust you to take care of yourself.

....Here's a thought, Athena. How about you don't make wild assumptions about me and Nisha's relationship?

[Why the hell was she so pissed off about this? He saw that look.]

I never asked her to stop being the Sheriff of Lynchwood. I never asked her to give it all up, live some quiet comfy life or some shit like that. I just asked her to scale it back some, because she had more to live for now and she was probably gonna get herself killed if she didn't make a little compromise.

[His voice goes flat.]

And hey. Look at that.

I was right.

What else am I supposed to say if that's all you're giving me?

[She's not backtracking or apologizing at all here. She may have finally gotten all of this pertaining to her out in the open back home, but it's still a very sore subject. And Athena doesn't exactly do well when those subjects are prodded again.]

But that's the problem - you asked her to do something she can't do. With a life like that, with the life she lived up until she joined up with you, you can't just "scale it back". You either keep pushing forward with everything you've got, or else you let whatever it is you're fighting against eat you alive.

It takes more than a couple of years to settle into an even slightly different change in how you live. Living with someone else? Sharing things you never thought you'd let yourself share with someone else? That's a pretty damn big change.

Not...what is this you're even doing? Trying to make me feel shitty for wanting to settle down with my now-dead girlfriend? For wanting her to have not died? Super nice, Athena, way to brighten a guy's birthday.

I don't know why I even tried talking to you.

If I wanted to guilt-trip you, I'd be rubbing it in your face that she's dead. But I'm not. Like I said, I had some level of respect for Nisha when we were working together, at least in the professional sense.

[of course she lost a lot of respect for her by the end, especially when Nisha had the gall to laugh when she heard about what caused her fallout with Atlas....]

I'm just trying to make you understand why she didn't agree to what you were asking her to do, since you don't seem to get it.

What, you think I don't get it? We were together for years, Athena. I wanted to marry her. I'm pretty sure I knew her a little bit better than you did.

But guess what? That's part of being together. You make compromises. You do things you maybe don't want to, for the other person. Like how I'd visit her on that miserable hellhole, even though I hated going down there. Like how I never made it an ultimatum, even though I couldn't stand the fact that she lived and breathed near-death experiences when she didn't have to! You make that commitment to someone, you don't get everything you want anymore. You don't get to treat your life like it doesn't matter, because it does matter to somebody!

[But she'd stayed down there, and she'd gotten herself killed because of it. If she'd just listened to him...]

[If him mentioning wanting to marry Nisha was an attempt to garner any sympathy from Athena, it didn't work. What it does do is make her hand twitch, itching to reach up for the ring still hanging from a chain around her neck - once again uncovered - and her stomach turn in disgust. Because this whole situation is incredibly familiar, and it disgusts her that she's finding something familiar in this conversation. The only reason she's not outright sick over this thought is, at the very least, she's not on Jack's side in this situation.]

You can expect people to change on many things, but that? When something like that is beaten into you, sometimes no amount of pleading from a significant other can change that. You say you were willing to compromise, but you needed to have been willing to accept that maybe, this was one thing she couldn't change on, as much as it pissed you off.

Maybe she did want to change. I didn't see her after the Elpis mission, so I don't know. But sometimes, no matter what you want to do, your own head is the thing that's stopping you. And that's not exactly something you can fight.

[It isn't like Jack can argue. Not really. Athena's making sense, and it's nothing he and Nisha hadn't had out before.]

[But he doesn't want to hear it.]

Yeah, well, doesn't matter now anyway, does it?

... You're back from the dead thanks to whatever the hell is going on on this planet. You really think the same can't happen with Nisha?

[... Ugh, did she just give Jack hope? This whole conversation really is messing with her. Gross.]

I didn't die, sweetheart. Just came real close.

[He knows damn well he did, but he's keeping up appearances.]

I mean, I know they can do it. But knowing my luck with loved ones... it ain't happening.

[He can look back over a lifetime of nothing but losing the people he gave any kind of a crap about. One way or another.]

[Sure. Keep telling yourself that, Jack. It's not going to change the truth.]

Has anyone figured out how they do it yet?

[Yeah she's not going the MY LUCK IS HORRIBLE route, because like hell is she going to indulge Jack in a pity party.]

No idea.

As far as I know, the tech's still in its infancy. All those rumors about Hyperion having machines to do it are just rumors. Not that we aren't trying. But it's...it's pretty damn impossible.

You ever seen a Lab Rat? That's the best anybody's ever done.

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