[03] [Texts w/ Chloe at 4 AM] [Image heavy!!]

[hellablue]

yo
im looking up memes right
and this fucking loser keeps popping up
who is he
and why tf does he think a ninetales is gonna do shit to water
idk pokemon and i know thats stupid as fuck
somebody needs to tell him


also i found more memes look
look


lmao

relatable am i right


shes gettin screwed


fuck i'm done
im going to bed
i fucking love pokemon world internet
its just like real internet
everything is the same but with pokemon
its fucking wild

Comments

[meteorman]

I do not look 98.

[That's the most important part of that.]

[hellablue]

how old u look and how old u THINK u look never matches up

[meteorman]

I take very good care of myself. What about me looks 98.

[hellablue]

dude you have bushy old man eyebrows and gray hair
also
u think ninetales can beat water pokemon
so ur mind is definitely going
im sorry no ones told u the truth yet

[meteorman]

It did beat two of them! I only lost because her Starmie knew Recover and I couldn't take it down in one hit.

There's more than type matchups to battling. It's about strategy and planning.

And my eyebrows are perfectly appropriate for a man of seventy.

[hellablue]

yeah but strategy and planning only go so far when water puts fire out
its just the way life works

youre so mad about being old
you need to chill before you need your life alert

[meteorman]

My what

[hellablue]

[meteorman]

[What the fuck is that that barely explains anything]

If something managed to knock me over I am perfectly capable of standing up again on my own.

[hellablue]

[It explains everything.]

not if u break a hip tho

[meteorman]

I am not nearly decrepit enough to be in danger of breaking a hip by falling over. Not unless I fell out of a third floor window.

[hellablue]

THIRD floor window??

dude even like a olympic champion would prolly break a hip falling out the second floor window
youre way too overconfident in ur hips
i think youre overcompensating bc you actually know youre old
this is denial.

[meteorman]

I am perfectly well aware of what my hips can and cannot withstand. It has nothing to do with denial.

[hellablue]

oh my god youre so MAD
build a bridge and get over it
wait thats too much work for your 98 year old ass
maybe have ur ninetales do it for you

[meteorman]

I work very hard to keep my body in peak condition.

[BRO DO YOU EVEN LIFT BECAUSE HE DOES]

Given enough time and proper materials I could absolutely build a bridge.

[hellablue]

oh my god though
even that sentence is hella old man speak
"given enough time and proper materials"
somebody who isnt old just builds the fuckin bridge
but you
you build the bridge if u have enough time and proper materials

youre an old man
with decrepit hips
im surprised you managed to hobble into mistys gym let alone battle her lmao

[meteorman]

If you don't have the proper materials then what are you building the bridge out of? Irony?

[goddamn kids]

For your information I have twelve of the sixteen badges. I am perfectly capable of battling.

[hellablue]

u build the bridge out of whatever u can
its called being adaptable and not set in ur old man ways
did u know ants build bridges out of themselves
maybe the bridge is made out of human bodies
whatever its made out of isnt the proper materials
because im not old

sure u do

[meteorman]

When did I ever say that ants or human bodies weren't proper bridge material.

If you don't believe me I would be happy to demonstrate.

[It is four fucking AM]

[hellablue]

[See. She would respond to that, but. You just challenged her. And now that's the only thing on her radar.]

you wanna fucking go

[It sure as fuck is my dude.]

[meteorman]

Behind the Dedenny's in south Goldenrod. Twenty minutes. Three on three.

[And then, a few minutes later:]

What level is your team, roughly.

[He has something to prove and he can't prove it by just trouncing her with three Pokémon at level 100.]

[hellablue]

wouldnt you like to know bitch

[No see now you've got her in Fight Mode, so she's already on her way and not willing to fuck around. It's none of his damn business what level her Pokemon is, as far as she's concerned.]

why dont u shut up and hobble on over already
ill be waiting

-> action

[meteorman]

I don't hobble anywhere.

[WELL FUCKING FINE THEN he'll bring a group in the mid levels and a couple of outliers just in case and pick as he goes.

He does, in fact, bring the Ninetales. Just in case.

As it turns out, he's a lot taller in real life than he looks in memes. He also hasn't slept in about twenty-four hours and has had maybe nine combined shots of espresso in that time, so he is more than ready to throw down behind this diner.]

Chloe Price?

[hellablue]

[Okay she'll give him that, he's taller than the memes made him appear. But she's not so short herself, she 5'9. She's a tol girl. She ain't afraid of you, ya old coot.

Unlike him, she doesn't really think about who to bring because all she's got is her ragtag bunch of misfits all in their 50s and below. Her best Pokemon would honestly be Munchies and J, her former bundle of eggs-turned-tree.

Evolutions are weird.

She can't rely on Gyarados because he's still an angry boy for how she treated him as a fish. She's apologized, but it doesn't do much good.

Still, she's Confident. She's got this. Her team is fucking great.]

Stanford Pines Sr.

[She raises her eyebrows and holds up a Pokeball.]

I'm gonna kick your ass back to the retirement home where you belong, let's fucking do this. J, come on!

[WHOMF there's a thicc tree girl ready to GO.]

[meteorman]

[See, this would be the appropriate time to send in the Ninetales. So he doesn't.]

I wouldn't be so sure of that. Phoebe! Let's go!

[He removes a Pokéball from the strap across his chest. Oh, yes, he's very confident in this choice.

Across the concrete lot from the large, strong tree is just the tiniest, cutest little pink puffball. She's almost perfectly round and she's got big ol' eyes and a cute curly tail and oh, boy, is this guy for real?]