001 - Video

[sociallychallenged]

Uhhhhh... [There's a very confused looking older man here, with a headful of curly gray hair and a thick beard and he's about as flummoxed as any new person could be on here. It's taken him a while to figure things out enough to make a video post.]

Does this thing come with a 'How to be Human for Dummies' guide? Literally asking for a friend. I mean, we're talking square one 'skin is itchy' stuff.

[Just clearing up that bit first.]

[Second bit?] Why is any of this shit an actual thing? Because I'm way out of my fucking comfort zone. [And he thinks he might have had a heart attack or something? At least he's gradually accepting that he might actually be alive. Kind of. He lowers the Pokegear for a second so he can get his bearings, without concern for the camera, so briefly everyone gets a view of upside down curious Growlithe nose in New Bark Town.]

[Someone doesn't know how to use the video function very well. He probably never will. Godspeed.]
( Action for Connor )

[Video] [001]

[plasticasshole]

 [The video starts at a very unflattering angle of Connor, who mutters a quiet "oh" to himself and holds the Gear up higher so the video isn't all about his chin. A Magnemite floats past lazily in the background. The man looks confused, as all new arrivals do, and it takes him a moment to figure out what he wants to ask.]

Hello. My name is Connor. I just woke up here.

[Which is strange in itself, because he's never slept before.]

I have a few questions. What is this creature following me? How did I get here? I can't be dreaming. Androids don't dream.

[So this is very real.]

Secondly, does anyone have any experience with suddenly becoming human?

[He's not sure how to handle this.]

[video | action for Viridian AND Saffron]

[exeggutorhead]

[Those who tune in to watch gym battles on TV may have caught the back to back pair of challenges to the Viridian City gym this afternoon.]

[Anyone who knows Envy and Heather Mason is probably aware that they've been on the path of wrapping up their Gym Challenge for awhile, and it would seem they spent all this time building up to something they could really show off about. Envy's battle showcases every possible monkey wrench he could possibly throw at Blue-- status effects, stat-changes, item-blockers, you name it, with the former-Champion Gym Leader growing visibly more exasperated with each round, much to Envy's absolute gremlin-like delight. Heather, on the other hand, went a little more straightforward with it and kept whipping out Pokemon of the same type to take down Blue's fighters because that's how you prove you're the best, baby!]

[After Envy's battles concludes, no one on camera freaks out quite as hard as the pair of challengers themselves, with Heather going in for a high-five so hard that the slap noise is audible on-camera even though the crew is a good fifteen feet away-- a sound-byte that will probably be isolated and remixed into dubstep by some Super Nerd on the network before the night is out.]

[And for those who don’t watch much TV… well, if they’re on the network they’ll find out about the twin victories anyway, because there’s no way Envy isn’t going to personally make an appearance to brag about it. The feed opens on him sitting in the Pokemon Center, the large green bulk of a Tyranitar sitting with weary contentment behind him. Envy, meanwhile, is grinning and looking extremely pleased with himself as he holds up a belt with a neat row of fifteen badges pinned to it…and then it’s sixteen as he reaches to pin that final green feather badge to the end.]

And there’s that.

Is there anybody still around who remembers back when people used to think that getting all the badges would open some magic portal back home?

It used to only be eight, and then it was sixteen, and now you have to go beat the Elite Four, and then you start your own gym and settle right in to being part of the whole business.

Which, correct me if I’m mistaken, is the opposite of getting sent home. Talk about being wrong.

Not that I’m complaining, I’d be pretty pissed off putting all that work into getting good at this and raising a badass team and then getting kicked out right afterwards—

YEAAAAH BOYYYY!

[Uh oh, here comes Heather-- sliding onto the bench with enough force to knock into Envy and move both of them several inches. Chimera automatically holds out one of his stubby green arms to stop them from sliding off the bench.]

[Grinning, she wields her own badge at the camera.]

SAFFRON CITY!

TONIGHT!

VICTORY PARTY AT THE ABRA CADABRA CLUB ON 45TH AVENUE!

WE'RE GOING TO THE POKEMON LEAGUE!

BUT FIRST: GET READY SABRINA, 'CAUSE I'M GONNA COME KICK YOUR AAAAAAAAASS!

WOO!

[She flips the horns, turns to plant a kiss on the side of Envy's head, and then launches back off the bench. Presumably to continue bouncing off the walls. Her Absol-- looking pleased but very tired after Mega-Evolving during the battle, takes her place and curls up with a yawn.]

[Envy only takes a few seconds to recover from the surprise and snickers, flipping his hair in a practiced motion to get it (partially) back into order and gesturing a hand in the direction she bounced off in. This is CLEARLY something he's used to happening.]

Well, you heard her, if anyone’s interested in a wild party.

But to get in on it, I want to hear the absolute worst kind of pre-gym puzzle you can think of. Or just tell me anyway, I'm dying to know.

[Because of course he wants to create something even worse. Now that they’ve actually got that last badge, the eventuality of getting to design his own absolutely horrifying gym puzzle has gotten that much closer. Sure there’s a ton of hiking and training and the Elite Four before he gets there, but PSSH. WHO NEEDS TO THINK ABOUT THAT RIGHT NOW?]

[ACTION for Saffron that night]

[For those who may have taken them up on their offer of a victory party, the Abra Cadabra club is...well, it's not a Friday night crowd, but there's still plenty of people having fun, colorful flashing lights and music, and drinks at the bar. Even if you didn't pay the toll of giving Envy horrible ideas, it's not like he's in charge of who comes in and out, so there's basically nothing stopping anybody from showing up.]